


Change is not a gateway to Destruction

by DarkrystalSky



Series: Love and Change [3]
Category: Dorohedoro
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Post-Canon, grown ass men dealing with mental health, just kiddin there's plot now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 72,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23879377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkrystalSky/pseuds/DarkrystalSky
Summary: Who am I?Who you ask?You areallof us.But can I live with it?Canthey?-Sequel toLove needs a Heart to Beat.Things seem to have settled down in the two worlds, but change is imminent as everyone is trying to figure out what their place is and should be.
Relationships: Kaiman & Nikaido (Dorohedoro), Kaiman & Risu (Dorohedoro), Kaiman/Shin (Dorohedoro), Noi & Shin (Dorohedoro)
Series: Love and Change [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721011
Comments: 52
Kudos: 58





	1. Grave/Grieve

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sorcerers and Us 2: Electric Boogaloo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21699433) by [braidcut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/braidcut/pseuds/braidcut). 
  * Inspired by [6/4 Time: You'll See A Better Day](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23198998) by [Jerge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerge/pseuds/Jerge). 



**Fujita** approaches Matsumura’s grave early in the morning, bringing two hot dogs in a bag as usual. Ebisu hasn’t tagged along this time, as she was still in line for the bathroom when Fujita walked out of his apartment. _At least I’ll have some peace and quiet for now._ He does like the girl, but her attitude can be too much sometimes.

The graveyard is green and lustrous, even with the hundreds of new recently built graves. A small number of servants is taking care of the dried flowers and gifts, cleaning the dusty graves and cutting the grass. Fujita smiles and stops in front of his former partner’s grave.

As usual, he puts down one hot dog on the slab and starts unwrapping the second one, when his gaze stops on a figure wandering among the graves. It’s not a goon, and Fujita doesn’t recognize him as anyone from the main family. Even though outsiders are usually allowed in the graveyard, it’s a bit early for the gates to be open.

It’s none of his business, though. He ignores him at first but then the figure seems to spot him. A black leather mask and the hood obscure his face but there’s something about the man’s figure that triggers a flight or fight response in Fujita. “W-who are you?” He calls out, ready to shoot a smoke bullet.

Unexpectedly, the figure stops in his tracks and raises both arms. “Don’t worry, I’m just here looking for…” he trails off, looking around. “Say, you’re Tetsujo’s friend, aren’t you?”

Fujita blinks and feels a cold shiver down his back. “Who- Wha- _Friends?!_ With that damn- No! I’m with the En Family!” he stammers, sounding quite insecure. It’s not even about admitting knowing the Cross-Eye, but who is this and how does he know about that? The man looks more powerful than him at a glance and there’s a feeling of familiar unease at the back of his mind, but his tone of voice and behaviour don’t seem to be aggressive.

“Do you know if any Cross-Eyes were also buried here?”

Fujita blinks and slowly lowers his arm. There was a tinge of sorrow in the stranger’s voice he can’t really ignore. “Some of them were, the ones who had surviving friends, but we didn’t identify all the corpses in the mansion…” he explains, and he’s about to point him in the direction of the mass grave they dug out outside the park, when the man speaks again.

“What about the ones who went to Hole during the rain?”

Fujita hesitates. Who went to Hole during the rain? The five lieutenants did, he knows that much, he was following them after all. _Ah,_ but there was another group, the one who attacked Dokuga and kidnapped the creature their Boss had become, he guesses he’s talking about them. “Well, their bodies were... _lost,”_ he doesn’t have the guts to say _eaten_ but recalling the image makes his insides churn, “so, no graves, but I guess you can pay to have one built. My buddy’s here is also empty, but that’s because of entirely different circumstances,” he points at Matsumura’s grave.

The figure sighs, seemingly deflating. _He looks sad,_ Fujita notes, following him with his eyes as he sits in the grass under a tree. He doesn’t look as threatening anymore, but the young man still can’t shake off the feeling of unease. “I see, maybe I will,” he says.

Fujita turns around and, after a moment, puts down the second hot dog before walking away from Matsumura’s grave and approaching the tree. “You could also get a Resurrection Prayer, if you want, but they’re on high demand nowadays, they got expensive.” He addresses the figure again.

He looks up at Fujita. “What’s that?” He asks.

It takes him a while to answer, because he was squinting, trying to get a look at his face under the hood. Despite being so close, he still can’t see his eyes. “Oh, it’s a little stone egg you offer the Devils during a funeral, you think of the deceased and emit smoke to carve their effigy and they’re sent to hell. If they’re feeling benevolent, the Devils will bring that person back.” He explains, gesticulating clumsily.

The man scoffs. “No, thanks. I’m done asking the Devils for favors.”

“Eh eh, I can understand that.” Fujita scratches the back of his neck, then, after looking around, sits next to him. “It’s a very low chance anyway…”

“Besides, it’s not like I can emit any smoke…”

Fujita nods. He’s pretty much figured this guy has to be a former Cross-Eye and that’s not uncommon for them to be unable to use magic. “Well, if it helps, I know the lieutenants’ names and faces. If you get the Prayers, I can carve them for you.”

The figure doesn’t move, but Fujita can feel his gaze on him. “You...know them?”

“I- I tailed them and their Boss for a while on the family’s orders. Nasty one, that guy, wasn’t even a _person_ in the end,” Fujita sighs, looking up at the sunlight filtering through the leaves.

The figure shakes and it takes Fujita a few seconds to realize he’s laughing. “Really hard to imagine someone like you tailing someone like _Dokuga._ That guy is paranoid as shit…”

Fujita lets out an awkward laugh. “Well, I was invisible. He still _felt_ my presence more often than anyone else.”

The man stops laughing. “Invisible,” he repeats. There’s a long pause. “Fascinating, yet so annoying, the things magic can do…”

Fujita gives him a weird look. “If your friend was one of the others who went to Hole, I saw their faces but I don’t know if I can recall their names…”

“The others…?” he tilts his head to the side. “Oh, _oh,_ no,” he waves a hand. “Not that disgusting bunch.” He groans and scratches his head. “None of them was really my friend, but the rest of the lieutenants deserve to have a grave built for them.”

Fujita tries to recall if he saw anyone hanging out with the lieutenants as he was spying on them, but he’s pretty sure there wasn’t anyone like that. _Maybe this guy just admired them?_ As he’s busy racking his brains over the matter, the man has stood up and started to walk away. Watching his back, Fujita’s caught again in that nauseous feeling he can’t quite explain. He walks a few steps away then stops again.

“My grandfather used to say that graves are built for the living…” he says, turning to face Fujita once again.

“Eh…?”

“The dead have no care if they’re wearing their best clothes or not, or whether the flowers on their graves are fresh or dry. The living need those things to cope with the fact that they’re gone.” He jumps over a grave and traces with a finger the devil statue on another one. “I used to be scared stiff of ghosts coming out of the graves and flying into my window to kill me.” He stops and laughs. “Ah, I suppose a vengeful ghost _did_ actually come after me, but that’s another story…”

Fujita stands up, barely following his ramblings. “What are you talking about?”

“Anyway, where can I buy those eggs?”

-

Fujita ends up taking the stranger to the Undertakers, it takes more than a while and the Family’s influence to finally buy four overpriced Prayers. The stone eggs are given out in four transparent silk bags and the stranger takes them in his hands and pays silently with more Niks than Fujita assumed he was carrying.

“Who’s the fourth for?” Fujita asks as they head out of the building.

“Natsuki…” he says quietly, almost a whisper. “You didn’t see her?”

Fujita shakes his head. “No, weren’t just five lieutenants?”

“She wasn’t…” his voice cracks a little bit. He holds the Prayer like it’s an actual egg, like it might break under his grip. “She was with them until… She had protection magic.”

“Protection ma- _ah!_ The girl with the braid!” Fujita didn’t see her while spying but she was the one trying to capture Kikurage.

“Yes! You saw her!” the man looks up and Fujita finally catches a glimpse of his black eyes. “Thank...the Devil, that’s how you say ‘round here, right? Thank the Devil…” He starts laughing quietly. “Like there was anything to thank _them_ for…”

Fujita doesn’t answer. It’s like his whole body is frozen, adrenaline shooting through his veins, he can feel every single hair on his body rising. It was a second’s glimpse but it was enough. _“You...you’re still alive?”_

The figure freezes. “Oh…” He looks around to make sure nobody’s around, then lowers his hood and mask. “Yeah, but _that thing_ is definitely dead.”

That sentence is certainly no comfort to Fujita, who just screams silently at his legs to start moving, fruitlessly. “H- how-”

The man - _what was his name again? Aikawa?_ \- laughs awkwardly. “Long story, _very_ long story. Uh- but can you not tell En anyway? I’d like to keep doing my thing without having to worry about that bastard…”

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?!” Fujita screams, pointing his finger and shooting a few smoke bullets. The man ducks and dodges them easily, but it’s easy to read his surprise.

“Look! I don’t wanna fight!” he takes out a knife from under his hoodie and drops it on the ground. “There’s no point in that!”

“You _killed_ them!” Fujita continues, in the same horrified tone. “They trusted you and you killed them!” If En knew he was getting so worked up over the Cross-Eyes, he would surely be angry, but En’s not here.

The man doesn’t answer, but his grip on the Prayers tightens up. “That’s why I’m here, and that’s why I need your help!”

Fujita knows, he’s followed him long enough, he knows this man is _not_ the Boss of the Cross-Eyes, in fact he actively tried to stop him, by sacrificing himself in that restaurant. He still feels on edge, he’s seen him being killed by En, in Hole, then by that weird ghost… “How are _you_ still alive?”

He rolls his eyes. “As I said, long story. Can we get to the point?”

Fujita huffs and lowers his arm. “Alright.”

-

He ends up taking him to the Funeral Home, after carving the Prayers with his smoke. He glares at him, determined not to miss any suspicious movement or word, while he arranges for the graves to be built.

“Much more streamlined than funerals in Hole,” he notes as they head out.

Fujita grumbles something under his breath and doesn’t reply. How is he supposed to face En and _not_ tell him about this? Will En even believe there is no risk in letting this man live, seeing as Fujita doesn’t completely believe it himself? And why didn’t Tetsujo tell him about it, when he visited? “How did you get back to this world again?”

“Mh?” he looks distracted. “Oh, Kasukabe’s built a permanent Door.”

“That Doctor did?!” he exclaims, almost tripping from the shock. “Can humans even do something like that?!”

He laughs. _He laughs too much,_ Fujita thinks. It’s starting to get annoying. “If someone could it was that guy.”

As they approach a more crowded area, Fujita observes him as he covers his face again. “You changed your mask,” he notes.

There’s a brief moment Fujita _feels_ his glare. “Well, _you know,_ you’ve seen it. It wasn’t exactly a normal mask.”

Fujita nods.

“Kasukabe made a replica but I can’t wear it without feeling like throwing up,” he makes a gagging noise for emphasis. “I’m just glad that thing is gone from my head. Just me now,” he taps on his forehead.

Fujita sighs. He wants to believe it’s the truth but he can’t help but feel on edge. “Your name is Aikawa, right? Ah, no wait…” he stops, recalling when the doctor from Hole and his creepy cockroach had broken into his cell. “Ai Coleman?”

There’s a moment of silence, during which the man just stares at Fujita like he’s suddenly sprouted lobsters from his ears. “You know that much...you were really tailing me.” He doesn’t sound amused anymore.

“I told you that al-”

“...creepy.” he sounds _extremely_ disgusted.

Fujita can’t help but be offended by that, and he’s about to speak his mind, when the other man turns around and walks away, waving a hand at him. “I don’t really go by any of those names anymore, by the way.”

Fujita runs and catches up with him. “Then what should I call you.”

“Kaiman’s fine.”

Fujita freezes. “Uh? But- wait- uh?!” he starts gesticulating. “That’s the- _uh?”_ Volume Of A Cone, Root Of A Quadratic And Exact Value Of Trig Functions For Common Angles. _“What?!”_

The man seems amused by his reaction and gives him a little wave, before whipping out a spray can from his pockets and spraying black smoke in the empty air. Soon, a Door to Hole opens in front of them. “Thanks for the help today, I’ll repay you somehow.”

Before Fujita can react, he’s gone. He stares at the open air where the Door used to be for a few seconds before screaming. _“Are you fucking kidding me?!”_

-

 **Dokuga** can’t allow himself to think that overall, his life’s pretty good right now. He sees it in Tetsujo’s face, how much more he smiles now, how he’s starting to make new friends, but even months after the event, Dokuga can’t bring himself to feel _safe._

 _Especially not with that man around._ Kaiman doesn’t only have the Boss’ face and voice, but some of his mannerisms too, and the way he looks at the two of them can’t help but make him feel on edge sometimes.

Dokuga walks in the restaurant from the backdoor. The tables are already full with customers eating and talking, Tetsujo and Nikaido have their hands full serving tables. He nods at Tetsujo when his friend notices him and waves briefly.

Avoiding the clients, he heads towards the kitchen space, not before making sure his medical mask is properly secured. Nikaido doesn’t pay them a lot but she’s kind and helpful and Dokuga doesn’t want risking poisoning the food not even a little.

“Hey! You’re supposed to help me here!” Kaiman moves the curtain to shout at Nikaido right at the exact moment Dokuga steps into the kitchen. “I don’t know how to make takoyaki yet!”

“I’ll do it, just get working on that fried rice!” Asu snaps, pulling him back.

“What do you think I’m doing?!”

Dokuga sighs and ignores their banter, silently putting down the bag of groceries on the counter, he does his best not to get noticed, but Kaiman turns towards him anyway.

“Oh, finally!” he exclaims, digging through the groceries, “I thought we were going to have to use celery!”

Asu’s reaction is kinder and more welcome. “Thanks, Dù’è,” he smiles at him. “Would you like to help Risu with home deliveries, now?”

Dokuga nods. He observes Kaiman packing gyoza tightly in a paper box before scribbling a name and address with a marker on it. “Take Nikaido’s skateboard, and avoid-”

“...the main street because they sell Hole statuettes there, got it.” Dokuga repeats the usual advice in a monotone voice.

Kaiman smiles, and before Dokuga turns around, he pats his head and tousles his hair.

Which...causes Dokuga to drop the boxes with a full body shudder.

It takes him a few seconds to realize what happened, even with Asu diving to save the bentos at the last second, because his eyes are stuck on Kaiman’s. _He’s not him. He’s not him._ He repeats those words to himself like a mantra.

“Are you alright?” Kaiman asks, stepping towards him.

“Y-yes,” he steps back, fixing up his hair.

“It’s unlike you to be so patronizing,” Asu comments at Kaiman.

“Boss used to do that.” Dokuga says quietly enough to hope they didn’t hear him.

“Yes, I know,” Kaiman says and Dokuga is thrown off by how _soft_ these words sound. “Look, stay after closing time, I need to talk to you two.”

Dokuga isn’t sure if it’s dread or trepidation he’s feeling, but he’s surprised to feel himself smiling under the mask. “Yes.”

He walks out of the room, picking up the bentos from Asu’s arms, not before hearing the next few words from them.

“What the _fuck_ was that about?” Asu asks.

“I need to make some things clear with them…”

The rest of the conversation is lost to his ears as he leaves the room, then the building.

-

Later that night, when he’s finished with the deliveries, Dokuga returns to the Hungry Bug as it’s empty of customers and Tetsujo is cleaning up with Nikaido’s help. Asu has already left, and Dokuga wonders if he’s gone back to the Sorcerers’ world or is just upstairs.

Kaiman is nowhere to be seen, so Dokuga sits down at an empty table and waits. Predictably, the man comes in a few moments later from the backdoor, notices him and asks something to Nikaido that Dokuga can't hear. But he hears her answer. "Do you want me to leave…?"

"Actually," he smiles, with that awkwardness that is so off putting to Dokuga, "I'd like you to stick around."

She nods, turning towards them and asking Tetsujo to hand her the mop and sit down next to Dokuga.

"What's going on?" Tetsujo asks him, fidgeting with his apron. "We're not getting fired, are we?"

Dokuga opens his mouth to reply, but closes it when Kaiman sits across them, arms crossed, staring them down with a stern and _too_ familiar expression. He feels Tetsujo tense and without even thinking about it, grabs his hand under the table.

Then, Kaiman sighs, his features relax and the illusion is gone. "I'm _not_ your Boss." He says. "What he did has nothing to do with me, he's dead and you should move on and let me live my own life."

Tetsujo simply nods, but Dokuga feels there has to be something more. He doesn't turn to see her, but feels Nikaido's gaze on them.

"Those…" Kaiman continues, almost struggling with words, pushing them with evident discomfort out of his mouth. "...are lies."

Dokuga feels his heart jump in his chest, cold sweat permeating his skin. He digs his nails in Tetsujo's skin and his friend is doing the same.

"Hole made me do some awful things I didn't want, but except from the last few days _it_ was never fully in control," Kaiman continue, without looking at either of them directly. "I just pretended it was, because it was easier…"

"Are you serious?" It's Nikaido who asks and it's Nikaido he turns to, shame and fear quite evident on his face.

He nods.

Dokuga doesn't know how to answer to that. As he just said, it would've been easier if he just pretended not to be that person anymore. _And he's not._ _But he just said...?_ He's confused and afraid and hates how vulnerable he feels.

Tetsujo has a completely opposite reaction. He's still holding his hand, but the free one is a fist that _slams_ on the table, making it rattle. "Why?" He says between clenched teeth. "Why tell us now?"

"Because otherwise this would be meaningless," he says, and before they can ask him what does he mean, he bows down, forehead almost touching the table, and speaks with a broken voice. "I'm sorry. _I_ might not have killed them directly, but they died _because_ of me."

And Dokuga's nose and eyes start burning as he finally realizes maybe for the first time what this man has been thinking all the time he glared at, avoided and attacked them for no apparent reason.

"Kaiman…" Nikaido puts down the mop and steps towards him, tentatively putting a hand on his back. He doesn't move.

Dokuga glances at Tetsujo. He too looks like he doesn't know how to react. He moves his eyes on Kaiman again. "They died because I led them to trust you indiscriminately." It's surprisingly hard to say _you_ instead of _him._ It means breaking down a wall, a wall that was barely keeping him from falling apart. He starts crying before the next sentence. "They died because _I_ needed to trust you and I pushed them to believe they needed it too." He finally looks up and Dokuga can't deal with how surprised, how _human_ he looks. Boss was never so easy to read. "You gave us a reason to live when we had none, you gave us a purpose, a place to stay! I couldn't believe we were just pawns to you after all that!"

His face twists and he averts his eyes again. "But you _were._ I couldn't stand what you were doing, _how_ gladly you were doing it." There's hate and spite underlying his words, and Dokuga doesn't miss that. "But Ushishimada, Ton and Saji didn't deserve…" he shakes his head, "that."

"Neither did-"

"Natsuki." He says her name squeezing his eyes shut, before digging through his pockets and taking out four small translucent bags, each holding what at first looks like a small egg. "There was an amount of self-satisfaction to it, but today I arranged for graves to be built for them. I also bought these, apparently they're called Resurrection Prayers and are used to-"

"Pray Devils to bring your dear ones back." Tetsujo finishes for him. He holds out a hand and Kaiman hands him the bag. Their companions names and effigies have already been carved in the white stone. "I heard these were very expensive, probably even more now."

"If it helps," Kaiman gives them a weak, uncertain smile, "the funds came from the En family vaults. They probably didn't even notice, I can't believe you barely touched the gold while there."

Tetsujo looks to shocked to reply, he just takes one of the Prayers - Saji's - in his shaking hand and looks at it. Dokuga dries his tears on his sleeve and takes a deep breath. "I see...I can't thank you, not for this." He gives him a tentative smile. "But you've done something good for us."

"I hope so," he says, staring at him.

"I suppose you'll carry out the funeral for us, since we cannot go over there anymore?" Tetsujo doesn't look up, but his tone isn't as harsh anymore.

Kaiman nods. "If you'll allow me."

Dokuga squeezes Tetsujo's hand. "Please." He says and his voice breaks a little as he does.

-

 **Kaiman** would like to say he feels better when they leave, but the heavy weight sitting on his heart doesn't leave. He doesn't go home yet, he sticks around until Nikaido's finished cleaning the shop in silence.

When she's done, she sits next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Hey," he nods at her.

"Hey," she replies. "How much of that was true?"

He hesitates to answer, he knows where that question is coming from but he can't bring himself to keep hiding. "If it had been a lie, it would've been easier to say."

Nikaido looks at him and takes his face between her hands, turning his head gently to look at her. "You remember all that, really?"

He sighs, but doesn't pull away, although he’s not looking at her. "Not _all_ of it, but most of it, if it makes sense. It wasn't _me_ collecting the Tumors and killing my companions, but the research and the fighting, and _most_ of the killing was me."

Nikaido strokes his hair and lowers his head to rest on her shoulder. "I had a feeling it was," she admits. "When we met, you were... _very_ eager to kill Sorcerers, even if they weren't the ones responsible for what happened to you."

He huffs and it almost feels like a laugh.

"Now I understand why you waited for Risu to be gone before doing this."

He draws a sharp breath and nods. "He's my friend, and I want it to stand that way. No matter how selfish that sounds."

"So, you're _not_ just afraid that might trigger Curse again?"

He straightens up, giving her a crooked smile. "Just a little."

Nikaido sighs. "Do you want to stay around for tonight? I should have a spare futon."

"Yes, please."


	2. Blood/Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit, it took me a while to be happy with this.  
> I think it's what really annoyed me about Dorohedoro's ending, that Kaiman didn't have a confrontation with his grandfather. I tried to understand why he wouldn't confront him and this came out. Sorry if it's long.

**Risu** didn’t really think he’d spend months washing up the floors of a rickety restaurant in Hole for months. Yes, the Devils had literally kicked him and Asu out of Hell without giving them a chance to object, but he thinks they at least partially did it for laughs and they wouldn’t object to them starting the training again.

From the beginning.

The thought of wearing the heavy suit of armor again sends shivers down his spine, but at the same time his pride doesn’t let him just give up. He’s been telling himself over and over he was just _having a gap year,_ that’s it, resting before trying again, but months passed and now he’s helping at Nikaido’s restaurant…

He enjoys her company, he’s glad to be beside Aikawa - or rather, Kaiman - once again, having fun like old times but _there is something he wants to obtain,_ and he cannot, not while staying here.

Asu, instead, doesn’t really seem to want to go back. The former Devil’s enjoying working in the kitchen more than than he would admit, and Risu would be happy to leave him to it if he could open a Door to the Sorcerers’ world himself. But Risu’s magic doesn’t allow him to output smoke at will, and so he’s sticking out with the older Sorcerer until he changes his mind. Or at least that's what he tells himself.

Kaiman comes and goes to the Sorcerers' world somehow, Risu's pretty convinced he does so with the weird kid doctor's help. He guesses he wouldn't object to Risu going with him, but Risu never asked to go and doesn't really want to.

So, he keeps cleaning the floors and tables at the Hungry Bug, occasionally taking Kaiman’s bike to deliver bentos around the town. He enjoys the company of the people working there, and even the former Cross-Eye lieutenant, Tetsujo, is starting to warm up to them. Dokuga is still a stick in the mud, but there’s room for improvement, Risu decides.

The engine noise and smell of gasoline announces Kaiman’s arrival, moments before the man kicks the backdoor open, holding a huge cardboard box. “Nikaido! Look what I found!”

“Nikaido’s not here,” Risu blinks, leaning on the mop. “What’s in there?”

Kaiman grins and sets down the box on the kitchen counter. “A takoyaki pan!”

“What!” Asu rushes in from the walk-in cooler, immediately fawning over the box and fumbling to get it open. “Awesome! I’ll call Nikaido to tell her to buy some octopus with the rest of the groceries.” He whips out a phone and heads outside the shop to call.

Risu looks at Kaiman, who’s finishing unpacking the cooking apparatus to set it up in the kitchen. “Impulse buying gifts now? Doesn’t sound like you.”

“Ah, but maybe Nikaido will give me a raise! Or let me eat some more gyoza!”

Risu laughs. “Can’t you make them yourself now? Just buy the ingredients!”

He pouts. “Yes, but it’s always better to eat someone else’s food, you know?”

Risu shakes his head just as Asu walks back in, he’s still on the phone. “She says she’s already coming back and she’s got her arms full, can you go instead?”

“Now?” He looks up. Asu nods. “I guess...I’m keeping the receipt this time, though!” He pats Risu’s shoulder on the way out. “Later!”

Risu smiles and turns to Asu, who’s wearing the biggest shit eating grin he’s ever seen. “Oh, no,” Risu smiles, anticipating a prank chance coming. “What’s going on?”

“Nikaido says she’s coming back... _with a guest._ ”

Risu gives him a perplexed look. “So?”

“She said not to tell Kaiman about it.”

He frowns. Who’s this gonna be? Shin? No, that man would rather meet Kaiman in the Sorcerers’ world, Risu knows that much. Everyone else he knows is pretty much a regular, so he can’t really guess who this mysterious secret guest could be.

His perplexity isn’t satisfied even when, ten minutes later, Nikaido walks through the door pushing a wheelchair. On the wheelchair it’s sitting a pretty old man, white hair and beard, dressed in ragged clothes. The old man’s most prominent feature, though, is his neck, which is at least 3 feet long, so long he can barely hold up his head, which is resting in his lap. “Oh, nice place you got here, lass. Are you sure the meal’s on you, though?” He quirks an eyebrow at Nikaido, who just smiles.

“It’s for your help earlier,” she says, guiding the wheelchair to a table so that he’s facing the entrance. “Asu, get the dough ready…”

“Ah, yes,” Asu blinks, looking at the old man with the same perplexed look as Risu, who leans on the counter, peeking in the kitchen as the two get to work.

“Who’s this?”

Nikaido gives him a knowing smirk. “That’s mister Coleman, we met by chance at the market and he helped me get a better deal with the meat.”

Asu stops kneading the dough. "Coleman." He repeats slowly.

Nikaido nods. "Kaiman...no, rather Ai's grandfather." She lowers her voice a little.

"He has a grandfather?!" Risu almost jumps over the counter. "Where does he come from?!"

Nikaido sighs at him, just at the bell chimes again and a couple of clients walk in. "Please take a seat!" She calls to them, then looks at the clock. "Where are Dokuga and Tetsujo?"

-

 **Kaiman** finds the two Cross-Eyes on his way back, collapsed on the ground in front of a market stall that sells Holey statuettes. Luckily the owner doesn't seem to be around and nobody is paying attention to the two.

After groaning and rolling his eyes, Kaiman lifts up both of them, dragging them into a nearby alley, far enough from the stall for the statuettes to be ineffective, and waits for them to wake up as he makes sure nobody comes near the alley.

"...Boss?"

It feels like bugs crawling on his skin, but he does his best to keep a straight face. "Please, _don_ 't."

"Ah, Kaiman…" Dokuga blinks, holding his head like it's still spinning. Tetsujo starts waking up as well. "What happened?"

Kaiman crosses his arms. "I _told_ you to stay off the main roads."

They both look like beaten dogs, looking at him from the ground. _Like the first time they met._ He thinks before shaking off that feeling. _This time_ he helps them get back on their feet. "Come on, we're all late to work," he smiles.

They take his hand with no hesitation. At least there's none of that reverential fear they used to have. What they're building is different, although it doesn't deny what has been.

They walk for a few blocks behind him, relying on him to keep an eye out of for any Holey statuette. They finally arrive at the Hungry Bug when it's already full of people. "Alright, let's use the back door…" he sighs, turning around the building.

"I'm sorry…" Dokuga says quietly, while they circle the building. "Thank you for picking us up."

He smiles at them, before kicking the back door open. "Nikaido! I got the octop-"

It doesn’t take him even a split second to start fumbling with the handle and slam the door close, flattening against the wall with an expression of pure _fear._

Dokuga and Tetsujo exchange a perplexed and worried look.

"Come back in here _this instant!_ " Nikaido slams the door open, appearing in front of them waving a ladle still dripping boiling oil.

"Why is _he_ here?!" Kaiman almost _hisses_ at her.

"He's a customer," she crosses her arms, then seems to notice the other two. "Oh, here you are! Start taking orders, we're already full!"

The two shrug and head inside, but Kaiman stays where he is. "I can't talk to him _now."_

"It's been a _year,_ Kaiman! _Eventually_ has already become old news!"

He squints at her. "You are…"

 _"I_ am your boss, now get to work! We need people serving at the tables!" She heads back inside.

Kaiman is alone for a few seconds, staring at the door like it heads straight to Hell. He briefly considers just jumping on his bike and running away, but he doesn't want to jeopardise his job at the Hungry Bug. Looking around, he finally spots a giant gyoza costume he used for advertising the restaurant. He hates that thing but it's better than nothing.

He puts two holes in a paper bag, wears it on his head, then puts the costume on.

As soon as he steps into the restaurant, people start laughing. Nikaido just facepalms. Dokuga and Tetsujo look at him with amusement. Kaiman ignores all of them and starts doing his job.

After serving a few tables, he stops as he sees the order for Mister Coleman, now laughing loudly with Vaux's brother. "Hey, Nikaido," he whispers at her, leaning over the counter.

"Do you think you're in the position to make requests?" She asks coldly.

 _"Please,"_ he says as earnestly as he can. "Can I switch to kitchen duty?"

She takes a glance at the ticket he's holding, then sighs. "Alright. Asu, you wait tables."

Asu is surprisingly compliant, as he gives her a thumbs up and finishes cleaning his station. Kaiman steps into the kitchenette, getting rid of the costume that is quickly becoming too hot to keep wearing, and gets to work. The curtains between the kitchen and the counter are low enough to obscure his face anyway.

A few minutes later, Nikaido brings Mister Coleman a plate of gyoza.

"I didn't order this," the old man raises an eyebrow at her.

"It's our speciality, please give it a go!" She grins, hands on hips.

The old man takes one dumpling and puts it in his mouth, chewing it with the few teeth he has left. Nikaido sees his face lighting up almost immediately, but he says nothing for a long time. Finally, after a minute or so, he gulps down and smiles. "Damn if these aren't the finest fucking dumplings I've ever had! My compliments, girl!"

Nikaido smiles. "Thank you, but I'm not the chef. Would you like to meet him?"

The old man eats another gyoza, so the reply takes more than a minute to arrive. "Well, I'm kind of intrigued now if you say it like that." He slowly turns towards the kitchen. "That big fellow over there? Yeah, why not?"

Nikaido smiles. "Enjoy your dish."

Asu is looking at her from the counter. "With the speed he's eating them at and the amount he's got in front of him, it's gonna take him all night to eat them."

"That's the plan," Kaiman replies, without looking at him.

"He asked to meet the chef," Nikaido gets back to work as well.

Kaiman glares at her but doesn't reply.

Closing time comes. Tables empty quickly and soon the only customer still eating is Mister Coleman, who seems to be enjoying his gyoza even cold. He swallows the last one and lets out a loud belch, before patting his stomach. "Best meal I've had in _years,_ lass! Now where's that goddamn fine cook?"

Kaiman hears him from the kitchen and can feel a grip twisting his stomach. _Why won't he just go away?!_

"So? Don't be shy big lad! Gotta give ya a few tips on how improving these things!" He laughs.

"Tips?!" Kaiman snaps.

 **Nikaido** grins, but the smile is short lived when she realizes Kaiman is not just as pissed as usual, he’s outright _angry_ like she’s seen him a very few times. “Kaiman?”

He ignores her. "You fucking idiot never bothered to learn how to cook and always bought ready made food! _When_ you remembered to buy any. So don’t talk to me like you’re some kind of _connoisseur…”_ The words die down when he realizes how quickly a frosty silence fell in the empty restaurant.

Asu puts a hand on Kaiman’s arm. “Hold on, I don’t think it’s worth getting worked up over-”

Kaiman just pushes him away, towards Nikaido. Tetsujo, who was cleaning the floor, slowly moves towards the back door and slips outside.

"Hey, lad," Mister Coleman calls again, quieter now. "Lemme see your face."

It took just _that._ Just that outburst. The realization that this old man might know her best friend even better than she does hits Nikaido like a brick and it does _not_ feel good.

Kaiman rubs his eyes with one hand. If she didn’t know better, she’d say he’s going to cry.

"I was kidding, they were really good." The old man continues. "Who taught you how to cook?"

He snorts. "Well, certainly not you," he gives him a bitter laugh. “You were never around to teach me _anything."_

Nikaido can pinpoint the moment where the metaphorical dam breaks, as words start flowing out of Kaiman’s mouth like a river in a flood.

He grabs his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “Empty cupboards, empty shelves, empty pantry. _Doesn’t that doctor you work for feed you?_ Not really, but he did a better job than you ever did! You never asked me anything, you never listened when I needed- _You locked me out!_ When I woke up, when I needed it most, the door was closed. If only it had been open, maybe…”

Nikaido steps forward and puts herself between Kaiman and the old man, gently grabbing his hands. The anger suddenly vanishes as he looks up at her face, and after a second she feels him squeeze her hands. With a small smile and a nod, she tells Asu to leave.

Mister Coleman speaks again. "I had to do what I could to bring money home," he doesn't really sound confident as he says so.

"Maybe if you had cared, thing would've gone a little different," Kaiman’s face doesn’t show any of that anger from before, but his tone is still cold.

"I _cared,_ you stupid boy!" the old man shouts, and it sounds like he really believes so. "I just thought I had no right taking your parents' place!"

Kaiman looks at Nikaido, then takes a deep breath and walks out of the kitchen. He doesn’t look at Mister Coleman, and he keeps his distance. "Maybe you didn't, but you could've tried."

The old man is speechless, just staring at him for a long minute, mouth agape. For a moment Nikaido thinks he's going to retort, but instead she sees him start to tear up. "Look at you...all grown up." His voice breaks a little when he says that.

Nikaido smiles as she sees Kaiman recoil from these words like he really didn’t expect them at all. She did. _Just a little._

The old man’s lip quivers as it shapes into a touched and proud smile. "They told me you were alive, that psycho kid and them Sorcerers, and I didn't want to believe them completely, you know?" He drops his head into his own lap, tired. "But _look at you._ "

"Wait, hold- hold on- who _told_ you?" Kaiman stammers.

"The dudes who dug up your grave! Empty, now I see why! I wonder who the fuck I buried-"

"They _dug up my…_ !" He groans and drops his head in his hands. "Right, Shin told me...look, old man, I _was_ dead," he nods and waves a hand. "I just came back to life thanks to the Holey guy or whatever…"

"Uh?!"

"I lived in the Sorcerer's realm for a while, murdered a few people, including my best friend, fled back to Hole, got hunted down by his vengeful ghost, who killed me." He lists. " _Oh, yeah! By the way, ghosts are real!_ I got amnesia and a lizard head, got killed by Shin. I regrew a head, visited the Sorcerer's world and started getting my memories back. Got killed again some time later, when my face returned to normal…"

Mister Coleman looks at him with a completely lost expression. "Wha-"

"Started murdering a bunch of Sorcerers, built a Devil Suit, got separated from my body, Nikaido made me a _new_ body," he points at the woman, then himself, "I possessed it temporarily. I died again, floated in mud as a disembodied consciousness for a while, then awakened in this body for good, saved the world. Started working at the Hungry Bug, got my face back and… I think you’re all caught up."

Mister Coleman's "What?!" can probably be heard across the city and Nikaido laughs. She can definitely see a resemblance there.

-

She lets them talk for a while outside the restaurant. She can hear them shouting and arguing outside the door, not exactly the heartfelt reunion she had imagined. When she’s ready to close the blinds and go upstairs, she sees the old man has left, but Kaiman’s still sitting on the bench outside so she sits next to him.

“I wish you hadn’t done that,” he says without looking at her.

Nikaido leans against him, looking at the sky. “Sorry, I thought you needed it.”

“Maybe I did,” he sighs. “But I’m hungry now, on top of being pissed off, so excuse me but I’m using the kitchen.”

He stands up and goes for the door, but she stops him. “Nu-uh. I just finished cleaning, let’s order something.”

They order meat pies delivered to the doorstep, despite the late hour. Nikaido wonders how some business work until the small hours without getting their employees exhausted.

“Not bad, but nothing to do with Tanba’s…” he notes as he chomps on his fourth.

Nikaido laughs at the remark, but gets pensive quickly. Now that he looks more relaxed, she feels like she can tell him what she’s been thinking about. “I thought I knew _Kaiman_ well.”

He stops mid-bite.

“I met _Aikawa,_ and I even had an encounter with _Kai.”_ She gives him a melancholic smile. “I knew it was your real name but that was the first time I think I properly met _Ai.”_

He grumbles something under his breath, putting down the half eaten pie. “I hate it when you put it like that. It’s all _me,_ you know?”

“I know, I know,” she chuckles quietly. “But unlike Shin and Kasukabe, I didn’t know you back then...recently I keep feeling like I don’t know anything about you.”

There is no answer.

It scares Nikaido a bit.

-

“I can’t believe I’ve missed your family reunion.” Risu has his arms crossed when **Kaiman** opens the door, still wiping the sleep from his eyes.

He doesn’t have the energy to retort, he just rolls his eyes and walks back into his small apartment, leaving the door open for Risu to walk in. “Didn’t miss much,” he mumbles, letting himself fall back on the bed. Risu starts looking through the cabinets until he gets his hands on a jar of ground coffee. He shows it to him, silently asking if he can use it. Kaiman waves a hand to let him know he can.

“Were you planning to go to the Sorcerers’ world today?” he tries to ask casually. The Hungry Bug is only open for dinner during the week, that leaves both of them with virtually nothing to do during the day.

Kaiman hums something that sounds like a yes.

“Can I come with you? There’s something I need to do.” He turns on the electric kettle and waits for the water to boil.

“Can’t you ask Asu..?”

Risu clicks his tongue. “Don’t really want to, that fucker’s gonna use any chance he gets to make fun of me.”

Kaiman rolls over, giving Risu a smug smile. “Well, there’s a lot to make fun of.”

Risu’s eye twitches. “That’s not something you want to say to me when I’m handling boiling water,” he glares down coldly at him.

He chuckles. Simple banter like this is nostalgic, makes him think they’re still going to school. But things are different now, better, one could argue, but different.

The kettle starts whistling - some inhuman screeching sound Kaiman never bothered to fix - and Risu turns around to finish preparing coffee. He turns his back to him so easily, all his defenses are down, they’ve always been, and remnants of guilt gnaw at his mind.

 _He remembers seeing his back like this, open and vulnerable, in front of the giant statue that would soon be stained with his blood._ He can feel a throbbing, pounding pain threatening at the back of his head. For a short, frightening moment, all he can think is _run,_ _go away, leave,_ but then Risu turns around, holding two mugs full of steaming dark coffee and the pain and fear dissipate.

“Are you ok?” Risu gives him a perplexed look, sitting down on the floor next to the bed.

Kaiman realizes only then he was holding his head in one hand. He looks up. “Yeah, just a headache. _A normal one,”_ he’s quick to point out, and Risu smiles at that. “I didn’t sleep too well last night.” Risu hands him a cup, that he drinks from in short sips. “Mh, I missed your coffee…” he closes his eyes. “Why do you want to come _with_ me, by the way?”

Risu shrugs. “Do I need a reason? I just want to hang out.” He looks out of the small window. “I thought you were glad I decided to remain in Hole for a while, but recently we only see each other at work…”

Kaiman doesn’t answer. He does feel a bit guilty about that, but Risu’s the hardest of his friends to deal with: the time they shared in the past is coated in lies and secrets, they both know the relationship they wanted to have is not obtainable anymore, and then there’s the matter of Risu’s magic. Through his first training to become a Devil - although interrupted - Risu said he’d started to learn how to control Curse, but there’s still a small part of Kaiman that wonders if learning the truth would trigger the vengeful ghost again.

Before he can reply to Risu, though, the old rotary phone he keeps in the room started ringing. Groaning, he stands and picks up the phone. “Yeah? Nikaido…?” He glances at Risu, who’s just looking at him and sipping coffee with an annoyed look. Nikaido tells him something about a package to pick up at the post office. “...’right, do you need it now or can I bring it with me later tonight?”

“Oh, it’s not for me,” she laughs. “He called here but…”

Nikaido tells him the situation and it takes Kaiman every ounce of willpower not to hung up on her. “Tell him to get _his own goddamn mail…!”_

Risu stands up, leaning against his back, head on his shoulder, to hear what Nikaido’s saying as well.

“Be nice, Kaiman, he’s probably got something to tell you, doesn’t he?” Nikaido continues.

He made a long disgruntled noise, throwing back his head, before answering. “... _fine_!”

Nikaido’s smile could be felt in her words. “I’m counting on you then!” She hung up.

“What was that about?” Risu had gone basically boneless against him, to the point Kaiman had to physically lift him up and drop him on the couch.

“Same shit as yesterday,” he grumbled, heading towards the bathroom. “Need to get this over with. Stay put while I get something on…”

“Yeah…” Risu drags out. His own coffee mug is empty but Kaiman’s still half full, abandoned on the table. Risu takes that one and finishes that one as well.

-

As they walk down the streets of Hole, Risu ponders what’s the best way to reveal to Kaiman what his intentions are. Fact is, the first time it was easier, they hadn’t really had the chance to spend time together yet, and him being with Asu, who could create a Door, meant they could still visit from time to time.

That’s the least of his problems, though. Thanks to Kasukabe’s door, Kaiman can visit _him_ instead this time. The main problem is whether Risu is going to be able to stay alive during the training on his own.

The package they pick up at the post office is big and heavy, it’s sealed tight and has a double _fragile_ stamp to the side, they secure it to the motorbike and Risu manages to glance at the name on it before they ride towards the other side of the city. He doesn’t mention it until they arrive under a tall apartment building. “Is it for your grandfather?”

Kaiman doesn’t answer as he keeps staring at the building, uncannily still. Risu sees him try to keep a neutral expression, but there’s all sorts of emotions running on his face. It’s so easy to read him without a mask, Risu wonders if that’s the reason he used to wear it at all times.

“I finally get to meet him,” Risu laughs. “I’m kinda curious…”

Finally, he seems to shake out of his trance and he looks at Risu, annoyed. “He’s just a stubborn, loud old man,” Kaiman sighs, gesturing him to help unload the package.

“Mhh, stubborn and loud, I wonder where I’ve heard that before…” Risu smirks. As they walk towards the metal staircase on the side of the building, Risu spots what initially looks like a run-down park. “Is that a graveyard?”

Kaiman glances at it. “Used to be, I guess. The many Nights of the Living Dead emptied it.”

They get to the fourth floor balcony, there’s a decent view of the park from there, and walk until a doorway, but instead of a door there’s just a piece of cardboard taped to the jamb. Kaiman doesn’t knock or ring the bell.

Risu looks at him. “Is this your first time back here since…” he makes a strangling noise and rolls his eyes back. He would’ve passed a finger on his throat too but both his hands are occupied carrying the mysterious box.

Kaiman glares at him in pure disgust and pushes Risu’s laughing face away, while using his free hand to ring the doorbell. “It’s not.” There’s a long minute of silence before a squeaking noise approaches.

“Is that you, Ai? Just come in, there’s no fucking way to lock that door anyway.” A raspy voice comes from inside.

Kaiman sighs and pushes the cardboard door to open on a very dark apartment hallway, through which a man in a wheelchair is slowly approaching them. Risu drops the package on the ground just inside, squinting to see the figure better. It’s certainly the old man from the previous night, maybe a little more disheveled.

“Mh? Who’s the cactus head?” The old man glares at him.

“Cactus head?!”

Kaiman snorts. “This is Risu, a friend of mine from the Sorcerers’ world…” He points at him, then at the package on the ground. “What’s that all about?”

“New door, I would’ve had a handyman pick it up but I thought I could kill off two birds with one stone.” He cackles and Risu smiles when he can briefly see a passing resemblance between him and his friend.

There’s a groan and Risu turns around to see Kaiman rubbing his eyes. “I had _plans_ you know? If it’s something dumb like my old stuff…”

“I threw most of that garbage away,” the old man deadpans, struggling to turn the wheelchair around.

Risu slips off his shoes and looks at Kaiman. His face is twitching, like he wants to retort but he’s holding back. “... _garbage…”_

“Is he talking about the jars? Because if he’s talking about the jars, those _were_ creepy garba-” Risu is saying before Kaiman’s hand slaps on his mouth.

“He doesn’t know about the jars!” He hisses, eyes wide in a momentary panic.

Risu bursts out laughing. “What the fuck, Aikawa!” The old name slips out of his mouth easily, but before he can correct himself, the old man turns around to glare at them. Or rather, he twists his absurdly long neck to do so, in a way that makes Risu’s skin crawl. “Aikawa?”

“...it’s the name I used as a Sorcerer…” despite the dark, Risu sees his friend blush a little.

“Ya can’t keep collecting names like stamps, boy! I’m pissed off enough that you’ve trashed the family name, but you can’t pretend shit from this old brain!” He barks at them.

“I said you can call me whatever the hell you want!” He blurts out in the exact same tone. “Just don’t get pissed when others do the same!”

 _Besides, Aikawa is just a lie._ Risu thinks about his own words a few months prior.

“Just come in, take a seat in the kitchen, I need to find that thing…” he turns his head around and starts pushing the wheelchair wheels to move down the hallway again.

Kaiman finally takes off his shoes and walks in, Risu follows suit. Mister Coleman disappears in a room to the right, while Kaiman walks with no hesitation into one to the left. Risu follows and sees he’s already gone and opened the fridge. “Oh, thank the Devil…” he takes out a six-pack with five beer cans left and drops it on the table.

“You’ve started to say that a lot,” Risu comments, grabbing the one Kaiman hands him.

“Mh? I guess it kind of rubbed off on me…” he says between swigs, slumping down on a chair at the center of the room.

Risu sits down and sips the beer down. It’s warm, the fridge is probably broken, but it’s better than tap water. It was one of the first things he learned in Hole: do _not_ drink the tap water. He watches with mild amusement and interest how Kaiman downs the last drop, crushes the can and immediately grabs a second one. “It’s weird to see you like this.”

“Like what?”

He gestures in his general direction. “All grumpy and gloomy…”

He rolls his eyes, then seems to regret it because he sits up straighter and looks at Risu. “You’re right, it’s not like me. I just…” he glances in the direction of the door, “I never liked that guy.”

“He’s your family…”

“It means fucking nothing at this point, besides it doesn’t _feel_ right…”

Risu blinks and turns towards him. “What?”

Kaiman downs another can in almost one go. “Being here. It’s like I’m playing a con on the old man…”

It takes a while for Risu to figure out what he meant. “After all the times you’ve insisted you’re... _you?”_

“I knoooow…” he drops his head on the table. “It doesn’t make sense, but at the same time…” He lifts his head, but doesn’t look at Risu, instead he seems to be focused on a specific point of the wall in front of him. “I’m not the person he knows, nor the one I would’ve been if I stayed here. My grave is out there and I buried an empty coffin _for a damn reason.”_

There’s a squeaking noise but Kaiman doesn’t seem to notice and Risu doesn’t address it.

“I _am_ me, but being around that old man feels like I’m stepping on someone else’s grave…”

Risu sighs and looks at his friend, _his Partner,_ even if they don’t call each other that anymore. “Look, I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but this I can say. _People change,_ and it’s fine, you did too.”

He gives him a weird look. “What…?”

“You’re not the person you used to be, not because you’re someone else, but you lived differently and met new people. It’s just to be expected to come out of new experiences as a different person,” Risu muses with a small smile.

Kaiman stares at him for a long minute before pushing his face away. “Stop, being all philosophical doesn’t suit you!”

Risu swats away his hand and sees him smiling.

With a squeaking noise, Mister Coleman pushes his wheelchair into the kitchen, a stained grey folder sitting on his lap. “I see you helped yourself,” he glares at the beers.

Kaiman’s smile instantly disappears. “I can’t deal with you sober…” he says, finishing up the second can.

“I hope you can sign while you’re drunk then,” he grumbles, slamming the file on the table in front of them.

Kaiman blinks, confused. His hand, about to grab the third beer, stops and drops on the table. “What’s this?”

“What do you think? The house's deed! I was planning to leave it to the monks or something, but with you alive it’s another thing,” he grumbles, obviously awkward. “These old bones won’t hold on for much longer anyway. You can sell it or rent it if ya don’t wanna move in. Just sign with whatever name you’re using nowadays and we’re done.”

Kaiman just stares, then slowly opens the folder to browse it. “...this is…”

“Don’t get all mushy on me, I’d just feel bad not leaving it to ya.”

He makes a face. “This is the worst present I've ever had. This rickety flat is terrible, there’s no electricity and no damn door. Hell, even Risu’s is better and he’s fucking broke.”

“Hey!” Risu’s head snaps up as he’s called upon.

“Ah! So there _are_ broke Sorcerers…” Mister Coleman snickers at him. “And here I thought they were all living _fancy.”_

Kaiman laughs and Risu can’t even retort as he sees his features relax. “Oh, those who live fancy, _do_ live fancy! There’s this mansion in the Capital that has an actual _city_ inside. And every room is a house!”

“Are you talking about En’s? Because that’s an exception!” Risu frowns.

“Well, as a private house yes, but do you remember the History Museum in Zagan? That was whack, man!” He makes a wild gesture. “How long were we stuck in there?”

“Oh, fuck, yeah, I remember that! We lost the group and got trapped in for a week,” Risu recalls the memory with a grin and a shiver. “That wasn’t fun…”

“And it’s not just the buildings! The whole world is so... _colorful!”_ Kaiman turns towards the old man again. “There’s whole forests- Yes, some will kill you, but they’re still so pretty! Oh, and they have flying vacuum cleaners that are more like motorcycles…!”

“We rented one, at some point...together with- what was his name?”

“Beats me,” he shrugs. “Oh, the one we crashed, right? Damn, we had to pay it in full, in the end.”

The old man listens them continue without a question. Kaiman’s eyes are shining as he talks enthusiastically about the wonders of the Sorcerers’ world, and he keeps talking for long enough that they have to order food and drinks. At some point, Risu realizes his friend signed the house's deed but the old man is too captivated by the story to notice.

Risu smiles.

_He signed as ‘Kaiman’._


	3. Water/Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _My weird ship is BACK! (sorry)_

“Right, we’re done,” **Kasukabe** grins as he dabs the tiny wound with a cotton swab.

“Do you need to keep doing these exams?” Kaiman complains, eyeing the plastic bag containing his blood.

“Of course,” Kasukabe laughs. “You’re my most ambitious experiment after all…”

And he lies just a little bit with that sentence. Of course, Ai’s whole existence, his transformation into a Sorcerer and the affinity he has with Holey’s power deeply fascinates him and he does want to understand it. But a tiny part of his mind is slightly worried about his well being: he looks at the man sitting on the hospital bed and remembers the joy he felt when he woke up after the surgery, many years before. The relief when he’d realized, upon his return to Hole, that he was alright, that he was alive.

Kaiman extends a hand to grab the blood bag on the table. Kasukabe eyes him with interest but doesn’t stop him. Tiny black particles float in the red liquid as he turns the bag in his hands, like fake snow in a snow globe.

Kasukabe takes the bag from him before the jostling and turning ends up opening it up. “It looks like that because of the residue smoke in your organs, but you still can’t produce any, right?”

“Right…” he says quietly, then breaks into a smile. “But that’s ok! I don’t need it to stay here!”

_But you still use my Door to go to that world, right?_

_What keeps you here, Ai?_

-

The bar is pitch black. **Shin** can barely see his own drink in the darkness he’s almost sure is enhanced by the owner’s Smoke. In the past, he disliked the idea of coming to this place but recently the anonymity of it is welcoming and he hears all kind of stories in the dark.

“I’m actually responsible for stopping the rain,” a woman’s voice deadpans. “I made the giant Door above the cloud explode. No one will know and no one will believe me, but I still have nightmares about that Door.”

Shin sips on his whiskey, or at least he hopes it’s whiskey, since it tastes like it.

“I believe you,” Shin nods in the general direction the voice came from. “We never figured out how the Door exploded but if it didn’t we wouldn’t have been able to stop Hole…”

There’s a long silence, before she speaks again. “I see, so you were there...Are you from the En family?”

Shin smiles. “No names, right?”

“Right,” she recoils.

The silences are not awkward. It’s almost pleasant how he can feel relaxed and at ease with complete strangers here. _Almost._

“Well, what’s your story?” she wonders. “If you want…”

“Much more boring than yours,” he sips the last drops. “My...lover is from the Hole,” it’s weird to refer to him like that and it bring a warmth to his cheeks. “He still visits but his life is in danger here and...I don’t know, I just wish he could live in this world more freely.”

She hums. “Human or Sorcerer?”

Shin huffs and it’s almost a laugh. “He was originally human, the Devils turned him into a Sorcerer because shenanigans…”

He hears her taking a sharp breath and when she speaks again it’s almost a whisper. “That’s possible?”

“Unprecedented, but Devils can do whatever shit they want, can’t they?” Shin shrugs, not that she can see it. He taps the glass on the counter loudly, to ask for a refill. He hears the noise of slow steps and hears a liquid slosh into the glass. _Maybe the owner is himself a Devil, to be able to see in this darkness?_

“Friendly advice,” he continues. “Don’t ask Devils for favors if you’re not ready to have them incredibly twisted. He just asked for power and the ability to save his friends and they turned him into something he hated, just to win a bet.” Shin takes another sip as the bartender cackles and walks away.

“Something he hated,” she repeats, wistfully. “I can understand that.”

Shin doesn’t really think before asking the next question. “Are you human?”

“Yes,” she replies with no hesitation. “I was originally a slave, but I escaped and ended up growing up here. For a long time I thought I was trapped but I found out there are some decent people amongst Sorcerers, so I decided to stay.”

Shin smiles. “Good for you. Hole’s a shitty place anyway.”

A few minutes later, Shin walks out from the bar with his head light and his heart a little lighter. It was a good idea to follow Shou’s advice and come here.

He’s walked a few steps away from the door when he stops, feeling a prickle at the back of his neck. Instinctively, he grabs the handle of his hammer and turns around but he’s not prepared to see En himself, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Besides him stands Fujita, hands in his pockets, who seems to be trying to avoid having to look at Shin in the eyes.

“Shin,” En says coldly, “let’s have a chat.”

-

 **Risu** looks at Kasukabe’s artificial Door with a mixture of disgust and awe: the fact that a human being with no access to magic items or Smoke managed to build a permanent Door on his own is more than impressive. It would be better if he didn’t do that using the skin and bones of dead Sorcerers, Risu thinks.

“What do you think?” Kasukabe approaches him from behind, a lit cigarette between his hands. “Is this your first time seeing it?”

“It’s...something,” Risu nods, unable to find another word as effective.

“I’m ready!” Kaiman walks into the room, backpack on his shoulders and face covered by a mask and hood.

“Oh,” Risu says, looking at his friend’s new mask. He saw Aikawa’s mask hanging on the wall with the others earlier and he really thought he was going to wear that. Seeing him with a different one is interesting but also kind of sad, he finds out.

Kaiman stops to stare at him. “Now that I think about it...you never wore a mask, did you, Risu?”

Risu shrugs. “It was a question of principle at first. Not gonna wear a mask until I can use magic, you know?”

“Do you want one?” Kasukabe butts in.

Risu hesitates then shakes his head. “I’m fine, it would just get in the way. And I’m not used to wearing one,” he waves a hand at them.

“Risu’s a little rebel like that,” Kaiman steps beside him and ruffles his hair. Annoyed, Risu swats away his hand. “Well, Doctor, we’re off.”

“Have a good trip!” He waves at them before they step through the Door into the Capital’s main plaza.

After the few seconds in which their eyes get used to the sunlight, Risu looks around at the newly built buildings and small shops, taking in the sights. “Ah, it looks much better now, compared to last year.”

“Yeah, hate to admit it, but that En really took the reins of the rebuilding seriously!” Kaiman says, before running towards a donut stall.

Risu sighs and follows him slowly. The air is really cleaner in this world: in Hole the main fuel is coal or oil and the smell of the factories pervades the air even during clear days. In this world where smoke produced by workers is the main source of energy, fossil fuels aren’t as common and neither are the huge chimneys and buildings.

He recalls the way Kaiman told his grandfather about this world, earlier, how his eyes were shining as he did, how excited he seems to be right now, and he can’t help but wonder what keeps him from staying.

Kaiman waves at Risu, telling him to approach. He can’t see his face but he knows his body language well enough to know he’s grinning. The vendor holds out a bag full of tiny just fried donuts, coated in cinnamon sugar.

They eat them on a bench just at the entrance of Kesbeel Park. There’s families walking around, kids practicing with their smoke, people leisurely spending their time. “It’s hard to think this place was full of the worst riff raff once.”

“When I was working for Tanba, around last Blue Night, I came here often,” Kaiman pops a tiny donut in his mouth whole. “Mostly because I was looking for the Cross-Eyes, but I also found it very peaceful. You might have noticed, Hole doesn’t really have any parks…”

Risu huffs. “I noticed. Tanba?” He cocks his head to the side.

“Oh, I never introduced you?” He turns to face him. “He’s a pie maker! The ones with meat inside, not the fancy ones with fruit.” He mimes the shape with his hands. “I worked for him for like two weeks, even posed as his wife!”

Risu’s face twists in horror, amusement and finally resignation. “I’m _so_ glad I missed that.” He mumbles.

“I was looking for you last Blue Night, but I ended up being discovered by him and ended up selling pies around the festival for the last day and a half.”

“Uhu…” Risu frowns. Those words buzz in his head for a while, and as he tries to figure out why they bother him so, he suddenly remembers and stands up. “Ah!” He shouts. “Fuck! That was-!”

“Risu?”

“I _saw_ you!” Risu points at him and gestures. “You had-! Around your neck-! Fuck! I _knew_ I recognized your voice but I blocked it out until now! I can’t believe we were _so close…”_

After a moment of confusion, Kaiman explodes into laughter.

“We were so close…” Risu repeats, sighing and dropping back onto the bench. “Maybe it’s better like that. You wouldn’t have recognized me anyway.”

“Oh, no, I would’ve.” Kaiman shakes the bag to drop the remaining cinnamon sugar into his mouth. “I had already remembered you by then, your name and face were the first to come back to me.”

“Really,” Risu tries his best to sound disinterested, but he can’t stop himself from smiling at those words.

Kaiman crumples the paper bag and tosses it into a bin on the other side of the path before standing up and stretching. “So, where did you want to go?” He adjusts his mask.

“Right,” Risu’s smile drops, and he closes his eyes. “The fact is, I don’t think I’ll go back to Hole anytime soon.”

“You’re going to retry the Devil exam.” It’s not a question, and there’s a hint of resignation in his smile. “You really want to drag me to Hell as soon as possible, don’t you?”

Risu doesn’t reply.

-

“You seem happy,” **Kasukabe** notices as his wife carries him flying across the sky, away from the city center. He was the one who proposed a date in Hole, but didn’t want Haru to catch too much attention, so they’re searching for somewhere away from the industrial noise and smell to have their picnic.

“ **I am happy** ,” she notes.

“Because you’re with me?” He grins at her.

She laughs. “ **Don’t flatter yourself too much, human,** ” she scolds him, but he’s used to these kind of remarks by now. “ **I’m excited because of the bet.** ”

He blinks. “Bet?”

“ **Oops, said too much. Hey, what about that place?** ” She points at a small cleaning between dried up trees. There’s an old rusty car left to rot in a corner and the grass growing around it is a sickly shade of yellow, but it’s isolated and quiet.

“Looks good,” Kasukabe nods as they lose altitude. He tries not to pry into the Devils’ affairs but her words can’t help but give him a weird anxiety. He hopes it’s nothing to worry about.

_The last time the Devils made a bet, it somehow ended well, after all._

“ **By the way, what do you think is the** **_worst_ ** **name for a baby? Earwhacker or Bony M? I need to make a point with Daston.** ”

-

The Devil behind the Acceptation Desk taunts Risu, saying that he failed once and this time will only be harder. His grin is sharp and unkind and Risu can’t see his eyes but he can bet he’s looking down on him condescendingly.

“Bring it on,” Risu growls, as the Devil presents him a suit of armor for the first months of training. It’s obvious even before he puts it on that it’s easily twice the weight of his first one. The Devil cackles but Risu won’t give him the satisfaction to complain. He puts the armor on alone, piece by piece and he’s already struggling to move before he’s done.

That doesn’t stop him from leaving with his head up, proudly, and start climbing the endless staircase. The air outside isn’t as smothering, but he barely feels the wind on his skin with the armor on.

“Nice outfit,” Kaiman comments as he stands up from a squatting position.

Risu glares at him and notices he has a small phone with a mushroom design in his hand. “You have a phone…?”

“Right,” he looks at it. “I tried to call Shin, but he won’t answer, but I just received a text from Noi...”

Risu is quiet, mostly because he’s still catching his breath. “So…? You going to see him?”

“Noi asked me to go to a place called ‘The Blue Pearl’? Have you heard of it?”

Risu nods. It’s a bar in the fancy part of town, one where people like them never could afford or even dream of going to, but he knows about it because the Cross-Eyes often targeted the regulars of that place. He tells this to Kaiman. “Perks of having a rich boyfriend, right?”

“Shut up,” he grins. “But seriously, this is weird. You should come as well..”

“They’re not going to let you enter dressed like that,” Risu deadpans, eyeing him from head to toe.

“I’m _not_ buying a suit,” he pouts. “And what about you!”

“This armor is a status symbol,” Risu points at himself, proudly. “A Devil candidate is allowed access anywhere!”

Kaiman gives him _a look._ “A’right, just make sure they don’t see your ugly mug.”

-

 **Noi** doesn’t dislike this bar, even though it’s one of En’s many businesses, it is quite out of the city and has a selection of dishes and drinks she enjoys. But the most important thing is that it has private rooms where complete privacy is guaranteed, that’s why they chose it, despite the prices.

She sits at the end of a long u-shaped couch and eyes Shin, sitting at the other end in front of her, apparently focused on the leaflet highlighting the bar’s expensive selection of wines, but she sees his eyes darting to the briefcase at Noi’s side.

“Did he reply?”

Noi nods. “Yup, he’ll be here shortly.”

Just as those words leave her lips, a valet opens the door behind Shin and bows at the two tall figures walking in: one of them is wearing a Devil-made armor and the other is a man with a familiar mask, Noi is about to wave at him when he motions her to keep quiet and silently approaches Shin from behind.

Shin doesn’t seem to notice until the man’s hands touch his shoulders, but when they do he swiftly drops the booklet he was absorbed in reading and grabs his wrist and the collar of his shirt, throwing the man in the air and on the couch in front of him.

Kaiman’s mask slips off as he falls, letting Noi chuckle at his astonished expression for a fraction of a second before Shin leans forward to kiss him.

“And that’s…” he grins when he pulls back, “what’s gonna happen _every single time_ you _try_ to sneak up on me.”

Kaiman’s surprise slowly turns into a wide smile. “Is that a promise?”

“Maybe,” Shin huffs, leaning back to pick up the menu from the ground and putting it back on the low table at the center of the room.

“Hey, Risu!” Noi waves at the man in armor. “Have you restarted your training?”

“Yeah, just today!” He sits at the same end of the couch as her.

Noi hums a low note, crossing her arms. “I’m surprised they let you try again, maybe I should give it another try too…” she doesn’t miss Shin’s brief and worried look, “in a few years,” she adds.

Kaiman stands up, taking off his mask properly. “So, what’ve you guys been up to?”

Shin smiles. “Back to cleaning jobs,” he looks at Noi. “Now that things have settled down, more or less, groups of people who aren’t _exactly thrilled_ with En rising back to power have resurfaced.”

Risu perks up. “Former Cross-Eyes?”

“Some of them,” Shin nods. “But mostly crime lords who made a profit when En died and scumbags who think if En got killed once he can be killed again.”

“So you’re back into action,” Kaiman hums. “I can’t deny I kind of miss it.”

“The killing?” Risu snorts.

“The _fighting,”_ Kaiman glares at him. “I’m glad things are peaceful in Hole, now. But I wish I could still kick some scumbag head into the ground…I’ll get a gut at this rate!”

Shin glances at Noi and grins. “You could come with us sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Kaiman drags out. “The idea of doing it for the mushroom guy _annoys_ me, but if I get too bored, I’ll consider it.”

“Nice!” Noi exclaims, sending Shin a grin and a knowing look. “That’s almost why we called you here!”

She sees him blink in confusion. “What?”

Shin’s smile immediately drops as he’s reminded of the situation. “Long story short, En’s learned about you.”

Kaiman’s expression twists into a tired, annoyed one as he lets himself fall backwards and melt on the couch pillows. He drags out a long groan.

“Straighten up, we got much to discuss and very little time,” Shin sighs, gesturing Noi to pass him the briefcase, she gives it a push and it slides quickly across the table.

Kaiman obliges, even if he doesn’t look thrilled by the situation. “What?”

Noi exchanges a knowing look with Shin, who nods. “I guess I’ll ask the first question, just to get it out of the way,” she taps her chin with her fingers. “Ai, is it still possible to produce Black Powder?”

She sees Kaiman’s eyes widen, then narrow coldly as he leans forward. “Why?”

“Relax, we’re not trying to.” Shin puts a hand on his shoulder, pulling Kaiman towards him. “We had an encounter with someone using it, we just wanted to know if it is possible that someone managed to create new batches or it was just a remnant.”

Noi sees him tense up, crossing his arms. “No, it’s not possible.”

“How so?” Noi asks just as the same time Risu says “Are you sure about that?”

“It just isn’t,” he looks away.

Noi sighs, she imagined it wouldn’t be easy.

“Ok,” Shin scoots closer and tentatively reaches for his hand. Noi felt a pang of jealousy every time she saw her Senpai look at him like that, but she couldn’t afford to be distracted, especially not now. “I believe you,” Shin continued. “But we _really_ need a more detailed reason if we want to convince-”

Kaiman stands up, brushing off his hand quickly, and pulls up the hood over his eyes. “Bathroom,” he just says, heading for the door he came through. Noi follows him with her eyes until he’s gone, then looks at Shin, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him that,” Risu sighs.

“It’s ok,” Noi pats his armor. “I would’ve if you hadn’t.”

He nods. “It’s been a...complicated day.”

-

Nausea claws at **his** throat and he’s barely closed the door behind him when he has to lean on the marble sink, heaving. He tries to force down the bile but it’s too late: chunks of partially digested donuts surge out of his coughing, choking mouth.

_Mummified devils, the agony on their little faces and bodies as the sludge ate at their flesh, forcing them to produce Smoke for a body that didn’t belong to them._

His stomach contracts so violently that he feels his legs shake, he sinks to his knees and retches until only a clear liquid is coming out. Throat sore and tongue bitter from the stomach acid, he stays in that position until he stops dry-heaving, only then he grabs the sink to lift himself back up on his feet.

The face in the mirror is pale and dripping bile, sweat and tears. It’s familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. _His_ face, he wanted it back so badly, and yet... He turns on the tap and starts washing up with cold water just as the bathroom door opens and Shin walks in.

“I’m fine,” he croaks, ignoring the worried expression Shin is making at the sight at his feet.

“I’m...sorry,” Shin speaks softly, approaching to gently push up the hair from his forehead. “That came without warning, I didn’t know you would-”

“Neither did I,” he admits, grasping his hand. He really didn’t expect such a visceral reaction from his own body from touching these subjects again, and he’s almost ashamed of letting Shin see him like this.

“I’ll call someone to clean this up,” Shin gestures at the floor covered in vomit. “We can leave, if you want.”

After a moment, he shakes his head. “Let’s get this over with.”

When they get back into the privee, Risu and Noi are having an animate discussion on the topic of Devil Exams, Risu complaining about a heavier armor or something and Noi trying to lift him up from the ground.

“What are you doing.” Shin deadpans at the sight of Noi grabbing Risu’s legs and him clawing at her back.

“Ah, you’re back! I was getting bored!” Noi lets Risu go and sits back on the couch.

Risu is staring at him and even if he can’t see his face, he just _knows_ he must look pretty worried. He forces himself to give him a shaky smile. “I’m ok,” he says before sinking on the couch, going boneless against Shin, who doesn’t seem to mind.

“Really.” Risu says skeptically, but doesn’t push it and sits back down.

Before an awkward silence can fall, he decides to speak and get it over with. “The sludge in my blood was an essential part of the process of creation of the Black Powder, without that, even if they found my notes they won’t be able to make more of it.” He says flatly.

Noi relaxes and nods. “Thank you-”

“You were already making it in Hole, at Kasukabe’s lab, though.” Shin notes. “How did you…?”

“Oh, yeah,” he looks up. “If I remember that right, I used to filter it from the rainwater…” He feels Shin tense up against his body. “Didn’t know what it was, though, I just tried every acidic component-” he stops talking as he sees Shin and Noi looking at each other with an equally worried and knowing look. He feels a cold shiver down his spine and sits up. _“What?”_

Shin looks at him and leans forward, opening the briefcase on the table. It contains a few bagged items, a transparent bag that contains some kind of organ, something small wrapped in layers of cloth, a small paper bag and a glass jar full of grey-ish liquid.

The panic surges like a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen. He doesn’t even need for Shin to explain what the jar contains, he just takes it and slowly turns it around in his hands. “Oh,” he sighs.

Shin nods. “Some assholes have been collecting the water that stagnated around the world from the rain one year ago. During the last fight, they even put it inside tranquilizer darts they shot at us.” He explains, grabbing one of said darts from the briefcase.

“That fucking thing inhibited my Smoke long enough for them to almost kill me,” Noi huffs in annoyance, crossing her arms. “Thankfully, Shin is immune to it!” She grins.

 _“Partially_ immune,” Shin corrects her sharply.

“I’m glad…” he says, putting down the jar. “But, yeah,” he passes a hand over his face. “Depending on how much they’ve stored, they can actually make more Black Powder with this. _Fuck!”_ He closes his eyes as his hand drops. “What else is in there?”

Shin takes out the items one by one. “Smoke producing organs damaged by rainwater, the rest of the Black Powder the guy we killed had on him, and one of them blasted Holey figurines they somehow snatched from Hole…” he points at the item wrapped in fabric without taking it out.

Risu makes a noise that’s between a hiss and a growl. “Yeesh! They brought one of those _here?!”_ He leans forward to take a better look. _“Why?”_

“Doesn’t that mean there’s humans amongst the people you attacked?” Kaiman grabs the cloth-wrapped figurine without hesitation. “Like, a Sorcerer wouldn’t be able to get their hands on this.”

“Maybe, but I want to say it’s not unlikely,” Shin frowns, a hand to cover his mouth. “I’ve met a human living in this world. And there’s at least another like me who’s half and half.”

“Really?” Noi blinks in surprise, Shin nods.

“Anyway,” Kaiman sighs, pocketing the Holey figurine, “I’m taking this back with me, the people over there need it more than a bunch of rebels. Hate to praise Holey, but they’re really doing good in keeping people who want to _practice_ out of the city.”

Shin coughs uncomfortably. “Anyway, here’s the _actual_ thing we need to talk about.” He eyes Noi, who crosses her arms and grins at them.

“En wants you to help us figure out where the Rainwater’s stored and take care or whoever is behind it!” She announces.

“Wha- Me? Help?” He grimaces. _“Why?_ It's your job!"

“So he can receive a confirmation you’re not a danger to him anymore,” Shin sighs. “I know you don’t like the idea, but it’s really the fastest way to appease his anger.”

Kaiman finds himself looking at Risu, his expression unreadable behind the armor helmet. “I’ll think about it.” He says before he can think too much about it and change his mind.

_Not having to worry about En is tempting, but…_

_Is it really right for me to step too much on_ this _side?_


	4. Shell/Share

**Nikaido** knows there’s something on Kaiman’s mind the moment he steps into the Hungry Bug. The gloomy expression lasts only for a fraction of a second, before his eyes land on her and he flashes the usual bright smile. “Nikaido! I’m hungry!”

She huffs, choosing not to address it. Asu steps out of the pantry to wave a ladle at him. “We’re just doing meal prep for tonight. Why don’t you start wiping the floor instead, since Risu still hasn’t shown up?”

“Oh, Risu’s not coming back,” Kaiman sits down at the counter. “He’s restarted his Devil training.”

“He did  _ what?!” _ Asu snaps slams the ladle on the kitchen counter, flinging sauce all over the wall. Kaiman looks unimpressed by the former Devil’s anger as he grabs a toothpick to play with.

“He said you didn’t seem interested anymore, so he applied again on his own,” he tells Asu bluntly.

Nikaido sighs and smacks Kaiman in the head with a clean spatula, he launches a colorful explicative and pulls back. “What’s that for?!”

She doesn’t reply, but throws a glance at Asu with raised eyebrows. The former Devil is  _ fuming _ when Nikaido takes the ladle away from his hands.

“I didn’t know you cared so much…” Kaiman’s smile falters a bit, betraying he’s not as fine with it as he seems to want them to believe.

To be honest, Nikaido’s surprised too, even though Risu did tell her he was still determined to become a Devil. That he would go back to the Sorcerers’ world on his own, and without telling Asu...She can understand why her adoptive brother is so angry.

“Shut up! It’s a matter of Prin! Ci! Ple!” Asu indeed exclaims, slamming the palm on the counter with each syllable. “I helped him out with everything the first time, he could’ve at least said something!”

“But he did,” Nikaido butts in. “Several times, he never hid he wanted to retry the test.”

Asu gapes at her for a few seconds, as if searching for a rebuttal. In the end, he doesn’t speak. Pouting, he takes off the apron and tosses it on the sink, emitting smoke to summon a Door he then walks through. He doesn’t even say anything like “bye” or “be right back”.

Nikaido stares at the disappearing door with a frown, then turns to Kaiman, who has poured a bit of soy sauce in a plate and is poking the surface with the toothpick.

“What?!” he says when he realizes Nikaido’s looking at him.

“If he doesn’t come back, I hold you accountable. We’re short a cook  _ and  _ a delivery guy.”

He sputters. “Wha-  _ how is it my fault _ they’re gone? They have every right to do whatever the hell they want!”

Nikaido rolls her eyes. “You’re on permanent kitchen duty until I find a replacement.”

“Wha- I have _ stuff _ I need to do!” He stands up.

The bell above the door jingles, but neither of them turns around to see who opened it.

“You can go after your shift or I’m not paying you this month!” Nikaido continues.

“That’s not fair! I’ve worked here the longest!”

“You were just eating gyoza at first, have you already forgotten I had to kick you out?!”

He’s about to retort when he feels a shiver down his spine and immediately closes his mouth and sits back down. He sees Nikaido straightening up and glances behind his shoulder, seeing three tall shadows in the corner of his eye.

The tallest one is a man whose features are unrecognizable and disfigured, with a bald head and a large batlike nose, that sniffs the air like a beast’s. “This is the place,” he growls. “I can smell their stench.”

“The restaurant is closed,” Nikaido says calmly as Kaiman puts down the toothpick and grabs the handle of one of his knives, drawing it deliberately slowly from its scabbard.

One of the other two people, a short young man with brown hair, opens his coat with a shaky hand and Kaiman’s eyes widen as he sees half a dozen small Holey effigies hanging on the fabric.

“Fuck…” he hears Nikaido breathe out before a  _ thud _ tells  **Kaiman** she fell on the ground.

“Oh, shit, Artie was right…” Kaiman hears one of them say, but he’s already turned around. Jumping over the counter in the kitchen, he immediately checks if Nikaido hasn’t hit her head on anything: she’s unconscious on the kitchen floor but she seems otherwise fine. He finishes drawing his knife and pulls himself to his feet around to face the three.

The man with the effigies looks at the tallest one in confusion. “Uh, Strand…?”

The man with a batlike face sneers, or maybe he’s trying to smile? It’s hard to tell with magic victims. The small part of Kaiman who would feel sympathy for him is silenced by the fact they just knocked Nikaido unconscious for no reason. “Get out,” he tells them simply, walking slowly out of the kitchen and making sure they see his knife.

“You’re human, aren’t you, mate?” The man called Strand tells Kaiman when he approaches, putting a man on his shoulder in a parody of a friendly gesture, his claw-like nails digging in the flesh. “You should leave this cursed place, it’s a Sorcerers’ nest-”

“I see.” Kaiman doesn’t even let him finish, with a smooth movement he switches to an icepick grip and cuts through the man’s wrist, slicing through bone and muscle like they’re butter. The man’s scream is high pitched and inhuman as he stumbles backwards for a moment, before charging again, his other clawed hand ready to strike. Kaiman adjusts his posture, reading his movements like an open book, and before the distance between them closes, he’s drawn the second knife and got ready to strike back.

Strand moves his hand in an horizontal arch, left to right, and barely misses Kaiman as he ducks and pushes himself forward, taking advantage of the momentum to dig both blades in his stomach and pull in two separate directions, slashing his flesh open.

Strand gurgles, guts falling on the floor of the Hungry Bug like a spilled bowl of noodles. His knees are shaking, unable to support his weight anymore and he stumbles forward, trying in vain to grab something to stay on his feet. With a loud noise, he finally falls on the tiles face-first and stops moving, as the pool of blood under him gets bigger.

Kaiman grins at the two remaining men, partly because of the adrenaline rushing in his veins after the first bit of action in a  _ long _ while and partly to intimidate them. He doesn’t even realize he’s brought up the blade to his face to lick it until the bitter taste of iron overwhelms his senses.

By the time he regains his senses, the two men have already rushed outside, faces warped in terror, leaving the door open.

“...that looks terribly unsanitary.” Nikaido’s voice comes from the kitchen, weak and groggy. Kaiman whips his head around to see her standing on the door, still holding her head, and he looks at the body on the floor and the blade in his hands.

“...I had a good reason.” He says as Nikaido steps out of the kitchen.

"Sure…" she raises an eyebrow at him, then heads upstairs. "Clean it up, I'll grab an ice pack!"

Kaiman sighs and drops both knives in the kitchen sink before opening the tap to wash his hands. The situation can't be considered solved yet, it's worrying that these two saw Nikaido collapse in front of the effigies.

Who were they and what did they want? He can't shake off a feeling of uneasiness, sitting deep in his stomach like a rock. He finishes cleaning and drying up his knives before Nikaido walks back down, and starts to drag Strand's body to the backdoor. The last thing they want is a corpse in front of or inside the Hungry Bug.

Nikaido grabs a mop and starts cleaning the blood from the floor. "If you're still hungry, I'll leave you the leftovers from prep, so you can make yourself some gyoza."

He smiles. "Thanks~"

He guesses he can wait to tell her about the whole En mission and Rainwater still.

-

"...He Did-A-The-What Now?" Dokuga sputters, whipping his head towards Nikaido. It's hard to read his expression with the medical mask on but his eye is definitely twitching when  **Nikaido** ’s finished telling him the events of that afternoon.

She can’t help but chuckle when she sees in the corner of her eyes that even though Kaiman's not reacting, focusing on cooking instead, he's blushing so hard the tip of his  _ ears _ are bright red.

Judging from Dokuga's reaction she guessed it right, too. It was a  _ thing. _

“You're never going to let me live it down, are you?” He grumbles, glaring at the two of them.

“No, that was creepy.” She blurts out, handing a couple of plates to Dokuga over the counter.

The young Sorcerer throws Kaiman a quick glare, then sighs and heads to the tables with the plates.

Nikaido was worried she wouldn't have many clients that evening, seeing what happened earlier, but the night is going well so far, even with just the four of them managing the restaurant. She misses Kawajiri, though, and his constant bickering with Risu and Kaiman. She wonders if she'll see them again anytime soon. It feels selfish to wish for them to fail again, she knows how important becoming Devils is to them, she  _ knows _ how good it feels. The rush, the power, the confidence. She misses it a bit.

The bell chimes and she leans on the counter to greet the customers, only to see a couple of unexpected and familiar faces.

“Hi, Nikaido!” Noi waves at her with a bright smile.

Nikaido sighs.  _ Did they have to arrive on rush hour? At least they had the common sense to take off their masks. _ “Hey, take a seat.”

“We’re not here to-” Shin tries to say before Kaiman drops everything and  _ throws  _ himself out of the kitchen to launch himself against Shin. “...eat.” He sighs, barely hiding a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Kaiman’s hug tightens for a moment before he pulls away, keeping his hands interlocked behind Shin’s neck. “Lemme finish my shift, I’ve already called Kasukabe.”

Noi has already sat down. “Gyoza and fried rice! Thanks”

Dokuga leans towards Nikaido, eyes narrowed as he stares at Kaiman and Shin. “Are they...a thing?”

“Have been for a while now,” she nods. “You didn’t know?”

From his expression he definitely didn’t. He’s shaking his head as a customer calls for his attention. Nikaido calls Kaiman back from the kitchen and she sees him pouting before he leaves Shin’s side to get back to work. “So, why are they here?”

“I meant to tell you before that mess earlier this afternoon,” he glances at her with an awkward smile. “I might stay away for a couple of days? Maybe more?”

Nikaido glares at him furiously then drops the spatula to punch his arm with enough force to send a normal person to the hospital.

"That hurt!" Kaiman complains, as predicted. Even though she doubts it's going to have a lasting effect, she did want to hurt him a little bit. "It was a last hour thing! I only learned about it earlier today!"

"Learned about  _ what _ exactly?"

She listens patiently, giving the kitchen only half of her attention, as he explains about the earlier meeting and the mission he's supposed to go on.

"Careful with En," she only says after a few moments of silence. "You're not immune to magic nor immortal anymore."

"I know…" he groans, "that's why I wanted to avoid him, but he learned about me somehow so I gotta get him to leave me alone, even if it means…" he makes a disgusted noise, "working for him."

Nikaido glances at Noi and Shin, the woman seems to notice this because she waves at her with a big smile. Nikaido doesn't reply.

"I'll be back soon, though. What happened earlier...I need to get to the bottom of it." Kaiman continues, not giving her any sign he's seen her reaction.

"Wouldn't Shin  _ love _ you to become a Cleaner." She blurts out without thinking and she's surprised by how bitter it sounds. Kaiman's surprised too, by his expression when she turns around.

"He didn't-" he looks away. "He wouldn't."

Nikaido looks at him, he sounds pretty unsure but she decides not to push him. "Right, you know him better than me."  _ Still too bitter, still too cold. Don't be jealous!  _ "Just...be safe, alright?"

"I'll be back," his grin is so genuine it almost breaks her heart. He grabs her hand and interlocks their pinkies. "I swear."

She smiles.

-

The clients leave, one by one. Leaving only Shin and Noi sitting at their table, a pile of empty plates on it. Nikaido makes a mental note of taking the cost of the food off Kaiman's paycheck when the door chimes again and slams open.

"I came as fast as I could," Kasukabe rushes in, followed by Jonson. He seems frantic, despite the  _ huge _ smile on his face. He's holding two large briefcases. "But I  _ had  _ to finish just one more test!"

"Don't worry, Doc, you're just in time," Kaiman puts down the last glass he'd been drying and takes off his apron to sit in front of him. Nikaido leans over the counter, eyeing them curiously as Shin and Noi also approach their table.

"Test?" Noi wonders out loud.

Kaiman nods. "I asked Kasukabe to run a few test with the Rainwater sample, just to confirm a few things!"

"The ones I ran went as you predicted…" Kasukabe nods, and Nikaido sees Kaiman's face light up.

"Nice!"

Shin gives them a look. "Is this why you asked me to leave you the briefcase?"

"Well," Kaiman laughs, scratching the back of his head. "I needed to be sure of a bunch of stuff."

Shin huffs wish a thin smile. "Seriously…" he looks away. "Anyway, we should leave now, he said he wanted to meet you  _ today _ and I don't want to piss him off."

"I know, I know…" Kaiman slips out of his pockets the leather mask to wear it.

Nikaido steps out of the kitchen. "Wait, you're leaving  _ now?" _ She looks at them.

"Sorry, I promise I'll stay longer next time!" Noi grins at her.

"I'm not going to," Shin huffs.

"You weren't invited," she retorts.

The door chimes again, just for Tetsujo to stay still at the sight if them. "Uh…"

"Oh," Kaiman turns towards him. "Have you seen Dokuga? He should've gone to throw away the trash!"

"I'm here," the second Cross-Eye appears behind him, gently pushing Tetsujo inside. They stay near the door and look towards Nikaido. "We're done for today, so we're heading home."

"Ah," she shakes her head. "Right, sure. Goodnight!"

"Wait…!" As they turn around to leave, Kaiman stands up and runs towards them. "Very quickly, need to ask you a favour!"

"Hey! I just said-" Shin calls him before he's cut off by Kaiman's wave.

"Two minutes," Kaiman says, pushing the two outside and closing the door behind them. They see him dragging them away from the entrance until they can't see them from the window anymore.

-

**He** hates to ask  _ them. _ He hates to ask them  _ like this. _ But with Risu and Asu gone he's running out of options.

When he's made sure they're far enough away they can't be heard from inside of the Hungry Bug anymore, he lowers his mask and crosses his arms. "Look, you already know what happened this afternoon. In normal circumstances I wouldn't leave but I'd rather not have Mushroom Head on my tail again."

"Understable," Dokuga shrugs. "You want us to look for those guys."

Tetsujo shifts uncomfortably, eyeing Dokuga with ill-concealed worry.

"Yeah, they're Sorcerer haters and probably have a lot of those effigies, so  _ be careful." _ He looks at Tetsujo especially. "Kasukabe will help you. Bring Jonson along so he can  _ extract _ you in case something goes wrong."

Tetsujo finally looks up at him. Unlike Dokuga, he doesn't seem thrilled by the idea of going against this group.

"Don't kill if not necessary. I want you to figure out who the guy called Artie is and what's his deal, nothing else."

Dokuga nods quickly. "You...be careful with En, too." He says quietly.

Kaiman smiles.  _ Dokuga's always been too kind for his own good. _ "I will."

-

"There's one more thing," Kasukabe says before they summon a door and leave. He's been concerned since Haru mentioned a  _ bet _ but he still brought  _ it  _ along. Under the group's questioning stares, he pulls up on the table the second briefcase, unlocking it but keeping it close. He looks at Ai-  _ at Kaiman, _ he still has to correct himself, before continuing. "I know you said you don't want to, but if the mission is dangerous you might want to consider bringing this along."

He opens the briefcase holding the copy of Aikawa's mask that Haru gave to him and immediately sees Kaiman tense up and frown. "No."

"Is that mask…?" Nikaido leans forward, looking at it then at Kaiman. "I thought you said it wasn't-"

"It's a copy," Kasukabe tells her. "Haru made it a while ago."

The reaction from Shin and Noi is unexpected. They both tense up, eyes widening. "Haru did?!" Noi exclaims. "Then that's-"

"...a Devil-made mask." Nikaido says quietly, frowning in concern. "That's…"

It doesn't take Kasukabe a second glance to realize Kaiman is the only one out of the loop.

"A Devil-made mask…" Shin seems to have caught on that too, because he looks at him and starts explaining. "...is supposed to enhance the smoke production and physical abilities of the one wearing it. Kasukabe's right, maybe it's not a bad idea to bring it with you."

Kasukabe sees Kaiman's features twist as he looks at Shin, then at the mask. "...fuck it." He breathes out before taking off the simple leather mask and pulling out the heavier metal one from its casing.

He hesitates a little then starts fiddling with the locks with precise quick movements. It's two different pieces, Kasukabe realizes. Kaiman puts the helmet on but leaves the actual mask hanging from his neck. "Let's go before I change my mind."

Nikaido throws her arms around his neck before they leave through the Door Noi summoned. She stares at it fading, in silence, long after they're gone.

"I don't think I would be ok with it if he decided to live on that side forever," she confesses. “Do you think he would…?”

Kasukabe smiles, lighting himself a cigarette. "I don't know." Once, he used to think he knew him well. But now, he definitely doesn't.

And maybe he never did.


	5. Prepare/Beware

The sunset stretches far and wide, shading the horizon and the rooftops of the manor in deep rich hues of red and orange, the eastern sky is already dark blue with a few timid stars already daring to appear.

 **Shin** doesn’t mind waiting when he’s got such a great sight in front of him. He glances at Kaiman, who’s also admiring the colors in front of him in a similar position, arms crossed on the railing, and smiles. Noi’s gone downstairs to give En _‘a few words of warning’._ He hopes it’s going to take _just_ a little longer.

“Do you remember the first time you saw the sunset?”

Kaiman blinks and slowly turns around to give him a perplexed look, before the meaning of these words sinks in. “Oh,” he realizes. “Because you can’t see the sunset from Hole.”

Shin nods. He remembers the skyline polluted by too many buildings and the sky almost always grey, even on sunny days. He hasn’t recently stayed for too long, but he guesses it’s still mostly the same.

“Not really, I don’t…” His words get lost in a mumble and then he’s quiet again.

Shin is starting to regret all _this._ It seemed so brilliant at first, a way to get Ai a little bit more into _his_ life, a way to stop having to hide their relationship, but seeing his reaction is giving him second thoughts. He glances at the black mask, still hanging from his belt, and has to turn around to hide a shaky smile.

To be honest, Shin liked the other mask, the mask Ai had made to come to see _him._ It was simple yet elegant and didn’t hide his face completely. This one is unfamiliar, this is the mask of _Risu’s_ Partner and Shin can’t help but wonder if this is another act of Haru’s indirect game to torture him.

On the other hand, though, he can’t help but be a little bit _giddy_ when he realizes Ai’s going to be wearing something reserved for elite Sorcerers. The happiness quickly turns to embarrassment which moves into _shame_ when he recalls the chain of events that brought him in that situation.

“Listen, I’m-” _sorry,_ he wants to say for a moment, but he bites his tongue.

“What about you?” he asks without looking at him.

“Mh?”

“Do you remember the first time…?”

“Oh,” the previous topic completely slipped from Shin’s mind. Not good, he’s supposed to _work_ tonight, he can’t lose focus like this. “Yeah, it was the first week or so, when I was still stealing to survive. I’d climbed on a rooftop to hide and there was a great view. I ended up spending the night there, looking at the stars…”

He scoffs, finally smiling. “That sounds like you.”

“What? Sleeping on a rooftop?”

“Forgetting your place for a pretty sight,” he slides closer to him until he bumps into him. He hunches over to lay his head on Shin’s shoulder: the metal cap is cold against his cheek.

“Don’t worry,” Shin sighs, “En’s not going to harm you, and if he tries, I’ll-”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

The door slams open behind them and Kaiman immediately straightens up.

“Alright, let’s go!” Noi announces, stepping in the room. “He’s waiting for you.”

Shin sighs and slips on his mask, looking at Kaiman as he seems to hesitate a moment before wearing his own. He fumbles a little with the clasps before fitting it under the helmet with a loud _clack_ and securing it behind his head. His eyes, barely visible under small green tinted lenses, are the only feature the mask doesn’t hide. Without a word, he starts to follow after Noi, who’s already stepped out in the direction of one of En’s reception rooms.

-

Rather than a reception, it feels like a _trial_.

The first thing **Kaiman** sees when the doors open is a giant 10 feet tall portrait of En’s likeness. _A millionaire’s way of taking a selfie._ It must be new, since he remembers trashing every single depiction of En when they Cross-Eyes seized the mansion. The second thing he sees is En himself, sitting on a chair at the center of the room. Tall and covered in velvet, it almost resembles a throne, especially with the two people standing beside it. One of them is the muscular man with a birdlike mask Kaiman vaguely remembers from the time he rescued Nikaido, the other is a vaguely familiar short man in a suit, the face completely wrapped in bandages. Fujita is partially hidden behind the chair, eyeing them with hostility as they enter.

 _Ah, the info must have come from that guy. I was careless._ He sees Fujita’s eyes widen for a second before the large doors slam close behind them and he jolts, seemingly trying to make himself look smaller.

“So this is _him.”_ En acidly notes, glaring at Kaiman while petting the weird pink beast he keeps on his legs.

Kaiman keeps quiet, hands in his pockets, appearing relaxed but every single muscle in his body is ready to _bolt_ as soon as En opens his mask. He feels a hand pat on his shoulder and at first he thinks of Shin, before seeing Noi step in front of him. “As I said before, we vouch for him. So, no funny business!” She announces, fearless.

En’s narrow eyes don’t stay on Noi for long. “As _I_ said before,” he grumbles, “I’ll need more than that. I’m _tired_ of this asshole popping back up like a weed.”

_Warped corridors, empty corridors._

_Kawajiri wrapped in bandages like a mummy._

_Nikaido’s weak frame, the eyepatch and peg leg and her tired eyes as she kept calling his name..._

**_You want revenge on the one who did this to her?_ **

**_I can give it to you._ **

Kaiman shakes his head. _Who actually killed En? Me or Hole?_ He can’t help but wonder. He thinks about what he did to Nikaido, what he did to him, and the rage is still very much _there,_ still very much _his._ Like many other things, _that thing_ exploited his feelings to gain something out of it. Revenge in exchange for the most powerful magic…

_Ahh, I would’ve liked him to stay dead._

“Before we get down to business,” En’s voice distracts him from his thoughts, “take off your mask.”

“The hell…” Kaiman sighs, “After all the fuss, I have to take it off anyway?”

He hears Shin huff a small laugh. _There’s nothing funny about it._

He unlocks the straps and lowers the mask, trying to keep a neutral expression as he faces En. He sees the man’s eyes widen, then narrow.

“No Cross-Eyes marks,” he notes.

“Yeah, nope,” Kaiman shrugs, touching with a finger the corner of his eye. “Those only appeared when _that thing_ was in my body, not anymore.”

Kaiman sees En glare at Fujita behind him, who looks like he just wants to be anywhere else but in the room. “Y-yeah, it makes sense with what I saw…”

“Very well,” En returns to face him, “since you’re a different individual there would be no point in erasing you, but…”

He looks at something behind Kaiman and he thinks for a moment he’s going to address Shin and Noi, but then he sees two masked goons walk in with a large roll of paper they unfurl on a table at the side. It’s a detailed map of the region around the capital city. There’s a dozen of red crosses and lines dotting the map, alongside small notes and question marks. The bigger circle is around Berith.

“You still possess crucial information that might help us obliterate the remaining rebel cells. I want you to point out the remaining sites these bastard might be using to store and produce Black Powder,” he _now_ looks at the Cleaners. “Shin and Noi will go with you both to finish the job and keep an eye on your actions.”

A goon hands Kaiman a red marker, keeping him at arm’s length and shaking as he does so. Kaiman glares at him and snatches it from his hand with a sharp movement and walks towards the table.

“Send them on a false trail and I’ll use you as fertiliser for my mushroom fields,” En continues. Although he’s not looking at him, Kaiman can feel his piercing gaze on his back and has to keep himself from going to his knives.

“Just do as he asks, please,” Shin says in a hushed tone, catching up with him.

“Easier said than done,” he looks over at the map, biting the marker cap absentmindedly. “I don’t remember those things as clearly as he assumes, you know?” It was more like fragments of a nightmare, and even the clear memories didn’t have any useful information. He had usually let Dokuga handle the organizational parts. _Maybe I should’ve asked Dokuga to…_ he shakes his head. _No, I couldn’t._

“There was the hideout in Berith, the factory in Mastema…” he mumbles, “the house we bought from that Devil in the Hydra Forest maybe…?”

“Oh,” Shin waves a hand, “no, that’s gone.”

Kaiman looks at him, then down at the map. “I see, such a shame…”

“...a Devil sold it to the Cross-Eyes? Now that I think about it, wasn’t it Haru’s house?” He barely noticed Noi getting close to them.

Something about those words bothers him. _Haru, again._ He glances at the mask in his left hand. _How long has she been meddling in my life? ...And why?_

"I'm waiting…" En draws out and Kaiman almost snaps at him if not for Shin's firm hold on his shoulder.

With a sigh, he closes his eyes, blocking out all sounds from the room. Focusing on the darkness and the memories instead of the map.

_Kill._

_Blood on his hands. Their head rolling._

_One, two, ten, thirty. Not enough, still not enough._

_One, two, ten, thirty. He counts again. He sorts them by type, then by size. By quality. He counts again._

_One, two, ten, thirty._

_A rickety metal staircase descending into the depths of the earth. Their footsteps echo in the air, getting colder and damper as they descend into the ground. Dokuga holds the lantern, it's the only reason he's walking in front. Steep walls, neatly cut stone, giving the cavern a surreal appearance. Shadows shuffle in the light of the oil lamps, throwing light on crates containing weapons or body parts, the occasional creaking and squeaking of the old rusty ventilation system._

“...the quarry.” Kaiman’s head is pounding something fierce when he opens his eyes. He hates revisiting and forcing out these memories, even if necessary. “It was mainly used for storage but it could be a good starting point.”

"Alright, we never went to any quarry." Shin makes a face, looking at the point on the map Kaiman has circled with the marker. “That’s pretty far, it’ll take all night driving to get there and I’m _not_ driving all night.” He says out loud, turning around to face En. “We’ll go tomorrow morning if that’s ok.”

“Whatever,” En’s eyes narrow. “Just get on with it.” He stands up and heads towards the door. “And keep an eye on that bastard if he's sticking around."

Kaiman barely listens. He leans on the table as cold sweat permeates his forehead. Pain throbs so violently in his skull he's surprised it hasn't cracked open.

 _One, two, ten, thirty._ The images aren't going away. Instead of the map he sees lines of little Devils, neatly disposed in a grid on the table.

 _One, two, ten, thirty._ They're all split in two.

"Shin…" he whimpers. He staggers before collapsing and hears both Shin and Noi's exclamation of concern as the world sinks into black.

-

Kasukabe holds the cup with both hands. A single tea leaf floats vertically in the center. "I thought you were just humoring me at first, but that’s not the case, is it?" He looks at his wife, sitting across the kotatsu. Her real body sits in a corner of the room, like an abandoned suit. Even if her Core is exposed her expression is still hard to read. "You're actually looking out for Kaiman, aren't you?"

" **Silly human."** She looks at him and gives him a thin lipped smile. " **Let's just say I'm partial to him not dying.** "

-

 **Tetsujo** walks into the room to a nostalgic sight, but not for this a sight he’s _missed._ Dokuga is sitting at the small table at the center of the small apartment room they share, a line of knives and pouches on the table, currently sharpening a blade on a small whetstone, a thin smile on his lips.

“Are you...sure you want to do this?” Tetsujo puts down the bag with groceries and walks towards the table.

Dokuga finally looks up, as if he’s just noticed Tetsujo’s come back. “Yeah. We owe it to Nikaido at least.”

Tetsujo waits for a longer response and sits down only when it’s clear the other man’s not going to add anything else. Apprehension and worry clear on his face as he extends a hand towards the pouches.

One contains small explosives and caltrops, another a bundle of steel wire, there’s even one small bottle of smoke with no label. “This…?”

“Ah, Professor Kasukabe had that. It’s smoke that heats quickly a small quantity of water, not very powerful but it might come in handy.” Dokuga notes, briefly looking up. He sets down the knife to grab another one. They’re thicker and heavier than what they’re used to, probably belonging to Kaiman and Nikaido. “I tried to look up for a sword but I found nothing we could afford, sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Tetsujo sighs. “Hopefully there will be no fight, anyway.”

Dokuga stops and looks at him. “We must be prepared just in case.”

Tetsujo looks down at himself, patting his belly. “I’m a bit out of shape, though.”

Dokuga makes a choked noise and Tetsujo can’t help but relax seeing his tight lipped smile.

“That’s your own fault,” he teases.

Tetsujo is about to retort but the truth of those words sinks deeper than Dokuga probably intended. In the last year, he’s grown accustomed to his new peaceful life. Despite the occasional Devil visit, there’s not really been any threat and even though they’re still poor they have a roof above their heads and food on the table.

It makes it even worse that the others aren’t with them anymore. He wonders if Kaiman actually used the Prayers yet or is still holding onto them for some reason.

“We don’t really have a chance, no matter how well we prepare, if they have those statuettes.”

Dokuga nods. “I know, this is going to have to be a stealth mission. In the worst scenario, we have a secret weapon, though.” He points at a small whistle on the table.

“Any idea where to start?”

He nods. “13 said a couple of his customers at the casino were talking about this Artie guy. They often meet at a pub near Migimaru Hole, that’s where we gonna sneak in and listen to their conversations.”

Tetsujo sighs. Their opponents are human, but this doesn't mean they can be underestimated. Humans of Hole, they learned quickly as soon as they escaped from En's family, can be stubborn and desperate enough to be a threat.

Dokuga’s still smiling.

“You...missed this, haven’t you?”

He looks up and seems hesitant to answer. “Not really, no. I can’t explain it, though. I want to help Nikaido, yes, but also…”

It clicks, and Tetsujo wished it didn’t. He makes a face and averts his eyes. “I can’t believe you…”

“He’s a different man, Tetsujo, but he’s still the Boss. Maybe things can be better this time around-”

He stands up suddenly. “That’s why you don’t have to _prove_ him anything!”

Dokuga’s face is impassive as he looks up at him, but there’s a million feelings swirling in those golden faceted irises. “It’s not for him. I have to prove it to myself.”

Tetsujo has a dreadful feeling no matter the outcome, this is going to end badly.


	6. Dream/Dread

**It** _sees Shin at the end of a corridor, standing next to his Partner’s unconscious body. He hasn't seen_ it _yet, a deranged smile appearing under the hood. Another Sorcerer, a sacrifice to bring to_ that place.

Don't you dare.

It _advances, floating above ground, the tubes that are extensions of its consciousness attacking him, seeking to strangle him and pull him away._

Let _him_ go. He's half human! At least let him go, at least him...

 _He evades a few of them, until one coils around his leg, pulling him to the ground. Maybe_ it _senses his human blood, or maybe_ it _finally listened to Ai’s begging._ It _always tried to please him, after all, in its own twisted way._

It _shows Shin a vision Ai cannot forget: Hiro’s body, disfigured and rotting, in a pool of dried blood, the lake of refuse that had devoured Shin’s mother and many others._

**Shin.**

My friend, my first Partner…

**You belong to me.**

-

Kaiman wakes up in a cold sweat, sheets tangled around him in the darkness. Foolish to believe the nightmares were going to be over. He sits up and looks around the room, lit only by the dim light of the moon.

His head hurts, a familiar electric pain behind his eyes, and even if he knows it rationally doesn’t mean anything dangerous anymore, he has to fight the urge to run away.

“Ai? What’s wrong?”

Kaiman turns around. His thrashing around probably woke Shin up as well. “Nothing, just-”

“Nightmares?”

He sighs and lets himself fall backwards on the mattress. “Yeah…” The sudden movement makes the headache worse. “Shit…”

Shin sits up. “Ai?”

“I’m fine,” he groans, covering his eyes, trying to relax again.

 _Wait._ He blinks and looks around. _How did I get here?_

There was En and the map _and the quarry, the echo of his footsteps on the metal stairs._

There’s a sound _like flowing water. But that doesn’t make sense, there’s no rain in this world. Except when Kaiman reopens his eyes, it’s pouring out of the window. “What the-”_

_Shin murmurs something unintelligible and Kaiman turns to meet bloodshot eyes, black ooze flowing out of his scars, and a deranged smile painted on his lover’s face._

_“No…!” He crawls out of the bed but instead of falling on the hard floor, he breaks through the surface of the water. Water that burns like fire, eating away at his skin and bones._

-

Kaiman wakes up in cold sweat, he’s sitting at a table in the Hungry Bug and has apparently been for a while because his back and shoulders are sore. He looks around in momentary confusion before seeing Risu washing the counter with a rag. No one else is around.

As he sits up with a groan, Risu turns around, wearing a smug smile. “You slept all evening, again. All the clients are gone.” He throws the rag at him. “At least help cleaning up.”

Kaiman doesn’t pick the dirty rag up from the table. His head is still pounding, sharp and heavy.

_This isn't right._

Risu seems to notice because he sits across the table from him, giving him a puzzled look. “Do you feel alright?”

 _Is this reality or…?_ “I’m fine,” he mumbles, standing up. The world’s spinning and he wants to vomit. “I’m going home.” Home is good, home is going to ground him in reality.

Risu says something else, but Kaiman already tuned out his voice. He doesn’t even pick up his jacket, heading outside. 

It's raining. _It's alright, rain doesn't hurt sorcerers anymore._ And yet pain travels through his body like acid is suddenly flowing in his veins instead of blood.

A figure approaches, dragging its feet heavily on the ground unbearably slow. The door behind him chimes and Risu steps outside, _but his eyes are bloodshot and his teeth are sharp._

Kaiman steps away from him, towards the figure in the rain.

**_Even now, the one keeping your body together is me, Ai Coleman…_ **

_A mouth larger than it should be, filled with sharp needle-like teeth, a large black cavity where the eyes and mouth should be. The figure he backed against is growing larger, soon towering above him, as Risu morphs into its copy._

_Ai tries to run away but his feet are stuck, the ground_ _like quicksand pulling him down quickly._

_Its mouth opens, ready to swallow him whole. He squirms and pushes, making the ground swallow him faster._

It's ok, better to stay dead than being _yours_ again.

And

he's

f a l l i n g.

-

He regains consciousness after what seems to be hours in the dark. At first there's no light, just a repeating sound, like air whooshing through a tunnel back and forth.

It takes him several seconds to realize it's his own breath, and it's not the only sound he can hear.

_Voices._

"...'o wonder Noi's magic didn't work! What a nasty tangle of spells!" The voice is high pitched and annoyingly familiar.

When Kaiman opens his eyes he's not much surprised to see Chota towering over him.

 _He's surprised to see stars._ He's definitely inside a room, brightly lit too, and yet there's a few dots of light hovering above his head.

"Ah! Ai, you're awake?!" Shin immediately kneels over him.

"I heard you can see stars when you get knocked out, but I never thought it was literal…" Kaiman mumbles, still trying to make sense of what he's seeing.

"You fainted like a schoolgirl and bumped your head," Chota explains condescendingly, "Noi tried to use her magic on you but it didn't work so I thought there had to be still some other spell at work on you and, _oh boy,_ aren't there!"

Kaiman sits up and finally realizes he's been laying on the floor, at the center of a complex pentagram. He glares at Shin who looks at least as annoyed as him.

"To be fair I was curious too, and worried," Shin adds quickly, almost apologetically. "I just didn't think he'd use such a complex spell."

"And a rare one too, this is magic that identifies traces of other magic!" Chota continues, pointing at the bundle of light dots still floating in front of Kaiman's chest. "You see this? Every single one of these 'stars' is a spell active on your body. The brightest ones? Devil magic."

Kaiman's eyes widen, there has to be at least a _dozen_ of light dots and at least three are Devil magic.

_Nikaido brought me back to life, that's one. Then, Haru gave me back my face...what's the third? The rest have to be the spells the devil used on me in the House._

Chota keeps talking. "This and this are transformation spells. Curiously enough, Ebisu's magic wasn't nullified but instead another more powerful spell was overwritten. The thing is that usually magic doesn't work if another spell is having effect. With the exception of Devils, of course…"

"Most of these are actually Devil spells," Kaiman decides to cut Chota off before he decides to cut off his tongue instead. "They had gotten demoted at the time, but yeah," he hoists himself back to his feet, leaning on Shin. The stars disappear once he steps out of the pentagram. "They gave me magic and shit to fight against Holey…" he waves a hand, not feeling like explaining, and looks at Shin. "Tell me I didn't spend the night on the floor." He does feel a little bit sore.

Shin huffs and smiles. "No, you were only out for a few minutes. Seriously, stop making me worry today."

"It's been a tiring day…" Kaiman doesn't miss the way Chota has suddenly stopped talking and is staring at the two of them.

"Shin," Chota starts, surprisingly serious, "I hope for you Noi knows about this." He points at the two of them in quick succession.

"Of course she knows!" Shin exclaims, blushing. "And it's none of your business."

"...and En?"

Kaiman usually enjoys seeing Shin flustered, and he's the culprit for that most of the time. But this is different. On one hand it's better to stop hiding, on the other he doesn't really want the rest of the Family to know about the two of them. Shin looks at him and he almost looks _ashamed._ It ties a knot in Kaiman's stomach, nasty and unpleasant like the aftermath of a greasy dinner.

"He _can't_ know, Chota," he admits, not looking at either of them in the eyes. "Maybe after the mission, but not now. If you know what's good for you, you'll keep quiet!" He grits his teeth, glaring at him.

Chota's face is completely hidden by the mask, but something in his body language tells Kaiman he's somewhat _amused._ "I get it, I'm great at keeping secrets anyway!" He crosses his arms.

-

"The fact is not that you're not qualified to be a Devil," Asu explains as he leads **Risu** through a forest in the middle of the night. Risu half expected him to show up at some point but not _just a few hours after he restarted his training._ "What we've missed in our previous training is how you _think!_ The Devils rejected you _because you can't think like a Devil yet!"_

"They rejected you too…" Risu groans, the suit of armor impeding his steps and causing him to already get some blisters on his feet.

"Even when you were in your last stage, you couldn't completely let it go and relax! That's why I've decided to focus your second attempt in training in teaching how to _have fun!"_

Risu stops and lifts his visor to glare at him with the intensity of someone who just wants to see him reduced to ashes. "Is wandering an abandoned forest in the middle of the night your concept of _fun?!"_

Asu gives him the largest shit-faced grin Risu has seen. "Well, it's fun for _me…"_

"You fucking asshole-" he lunges forward, trying to pin him to the ground, but Asu steps sideways and the weight of the armor pulls Risu towards the ground.

As he struggles to sit back up, he sees Asu has stopped walking and is looking down on him. "So, why do you think you're such a stick in the mud?"

"Dunno," Risu grunts as he stands up, "maybe the fact I had a shitty life?"

"But you don't anymore, do you?" He puts a finger to his chin. "So?"

It takes Risu a moment to realize he's still waiting for an answer. "I don't know! Maybe the fact that I killed my best friend...or that I was killed by him? Maybe the fact that the Cross-Eyes only used me? Maybe the fact that my magic is only good for killing people around me and I can't even use it for opening a damn Door?!"

"Ah, here we go," Asu grins, crossing his arms. "I knew your magic was the problem, or rather how _you see_ your magic was."

He starts walking again. After rolling his eyes, Risu starts to follow. "I don't get it."

"You still don't have a complete grasp on your magic and you feel it as something separate from you, an uncontrollable weapon to destroy others."

Risu wishes Asu was facing him, because his expression depicts all the annoyance he can muster. "So?"

"So, I'm going to leave you with a better master for a few days," he says, moving a branch out of the way to lead him into a clearing. A large, wooden cottage sits in its centre.

Dissonant with the whole picture, a golden broom, emblazoned with jewels and carvings, sits parked in the yard.

All around the clearing are scattered a large number of paintings, either on stands or laying on the ground. Some are small, some are humongous, some depict serene landscapes, others unspeakable horrors, others are just abstract and equally unsettling.

"Who _lives_ here?" Risu looks around partly incredulous and a little bit scared.

"A Devil," Asu walks to the door, careful not to step on any canvas, and knocks insistently with both hands. "I hope he's home."

Fortunately for him, the door is opened after a brief delay by a young girl in a black mask and maid outfit. "Master Asu, Master Risu," she bows. "Please come in."

Risu walks in, eyeing the girl suspiciously. The inside of the house is even more full if paintings, hanging from the walls one next to the other, sometimes even covering each other. Once they're at the center of the room, tbe girl slams the door closed and, simultaneously, all windows slam close too, temporarily casting them both into deep darkness.

Light reappears as a small candle the maid holds in front of her. "Why are you here?"

In the dim light, Risu sees Asu look at him expectantly. "To...have fun?" He says tentatively.

Unexpectedly the maid grins, showing more teeth and more sharper than what would fit in a normal mouth. "Good," she says.

Other candles starts to light up on their own as shadows start dancing around the room, twirling and flickering until Risu realizes they're wrapping _in a very familiar way_ around the girl until they're completely covering her and twisting her figure in a taller, horned one. But their body is still wispy, still looking like shadows, like a cloak of smoke covering her entire body. _Just like Curse._

Asu starts clapping. "Loved the flair, Claw! The candles might be a little _extra,_ though."

**"I've been getting into improv. Trying several scenarios. That was the Creepy Maid, how did you like it?"**

Risu is speechless and too confused to reply.

"Look, Claw, you know Risu. I want you to teach him how to think more like a Devil. Can I leave him with you for a few days?"

**"Sure, I don't mind an audience."**

"Wait, you were serious?" Risu's head snaps towards Asu. "I thought this was about my magic!"

"He thinks his magic holds him back from letting go," Asu tells the Devil, apparently ignoring him 

**"His magic? Oh,"** Claw's face is shrouded in darkness, but Risu still has the impression she's grinning again. **"I get why you brought him to** **_me,_ ** **now.'**

Asu nods and turns towards Risu. "Risu, this is Claw. When she was a Sorcerer, she used to have Curse magic. This was long before either of us was born, but she was able to control her Curse at will."

Risu looks up at the Devil, eyes widening as he realizes her current form is similar if not the same as the shape of her Curse. The same wispy darkness that wapped around Risu when Curse took control is now covering her demonic form.

"Well, see you in a few days," Asu lifts a hand to his head, ready to teleport away. "Hope you survive!"

"What is that sup-" Risu starts to ask but Asu has already vanished in a cloud of smoke, leaving him in the creepy room with the towering Devil. "Uh...hi?"

 **"We're going to have** **_so much fun."_ **

-

 **Fujita** walks through the corridors, his feet as heavy as rocks and his mind stormy.

He hadn't meant to tell En about Kaiman, but when his boss had heard there were graves for the Cross-Eyes being built on the Mansion's grounds, he'd started asking questions…

...and Fujita had never been a great liar.

Besides, any compassion he might've felt for that man, _'the host of the Cross-Eyes Boss'_ he'd described him to En, had severely diminished once he'd realized him and the lizard head, _Matsumura's killer,_ were one and the same.

And now, because of the deal Shin had made with En, he can't even lay a finger on him until the Mission is done.

He stops, lost in thought, clenching his fists. "Once again, there's nothing I can do…!"

"Fu! Ji! Ta!" Ebisu pops out from around the corner, she's wearing a weird backpack inside if which sits an annoyed Kikurage.

Fujita blinks at her, holding both her tiny scythes. "What are you doing."

"Guarding Kikurage!" She exclaims proudly. "Boss said there's very dangerous man in house!"

Fujita sighs. "Yeah, there is...and there's nothing failures like us can do about it."

She's wearing her masks and yet somehow Fujita can perfectly tell she's pouting. "You don't dump me with you! Fujita's the only failure here!"

He's about to retort when he spots a familiar figure walking alone through an adjacent corridor. Ignoring Ebisu, he starts running towards her. "Miss Noi!" He calls.

"Oh, it's you two," Noi points at Ebisu, who followed Fujita immediately. "What are you doing."

"Protecting Kikurage from the Evil Boss Man!" She announces proudly.

Noi blinks. "You know, Ai's got no reason to hurt Kikurage…'

"Miss Noi, what's going on?" Fujita musters out the courage to speak. "Why do you and Mr. Shin seem to know that man so well? Why are you protecting him?! Isn't he an enemy of the family?"

Noi blinks. "He's not the Cross-Eyes B-"

"Not that!" He waves his arms. "He's the lizard head guy, isn't he? He killed a bunch of En's men! _He killed Matsumura!"_

Noi makes a face that seems more annoyed than surprised. "Yeah, but that was under different circumstances. He's Senpai's childhood friend and probably…"

She hesitates. Fujita doesn't think he's ever seen Noi look so _vulnerable,_ but the impression quickly vanishes.

"...he's probably gonna be Senpai's partner at the next Blue Night."

Ebisu puts both hands on her cheeks in an exaggerated surprised pose. "Plot twist!" She shouts at the same time Fujita goes "HWHAT?!"

"Don't worry about me, though, I'm probably gonna give another try to Devil training!" Noi laughs, waving a hand at them. "We already discussed this."

"B- but…but he's…!" He's flailing, the ground under his feet crumbling. He can't find the words to express his utter _disbelief._

"Just deal with it," Noi pats his shoulder as she walks past. "You know, if you talk with him you'd realize he's a pretty decent person!"

The worst thing is that Fujita already _knows_ that. He knows and that makes it harder for him to accept it. First Nikaido, she became En's untouchable partner, then a magicless Sorcerer, to be ignored and left alone. Then, Kaiman, who seemed to be dead and then turns out he wasn't, and is now walking around the Manor freely.

"I hate this…" he mutters, clenching his fists. "I hate this!" It's like the _universe_ is trying to keep him from avenging Matsumura. "Why does _that guy_ deserves a Partner in the Family while I... _it's not fair!"_

"Fujita…" Ebisu calls him. "Boss En hasn't accepted him yet, has he?"

Fujita blinks and looks at her. "You're right!" He breaks into a smile. "If the mission fails, En will never-"

It's dangerous, but it's doable if he's careful.

He just needs to make sure En sees what a piece of shit he is and then maybe Shin will also give up on him.

He grins at Ebisu and starts walking in the opposite direction as Noi.

Ebisu trails after him.

-

The bar shines like a beacon in the darkness of the ruins of Migimaru. Never having ventured in this part of Hole, nothing could have prepared **Dokuga** and Tetsujo to the absolute _desolation_ the city was reduced in.

Unlike the city centre where they ended up living, grey but still buzzing with life and people, shops and markets and weird sport traditions, Migimaru Hole was dark, eerily quiet, populated by only a few shady or sad faces.

The brightly illuminated bar in this setting makes the place look even more uncanny, rather than a bright refuge. A bouncer at the entrance throws out a skinny man who looked like had too much to drink, just as Dokuga and Testujo arrive in front of the building. The burly man glares at them intimidatingly, but Dokuga doesn't even flinch and stares back at him as they walk inside.

Distorted electronic music competes with the buzzing of a hundred simultaneous conversations, people of all ages in the crowd. Most are drinking, some are dancing, but it's a small group around a table in the corner that catches the two's attention.

"You ask at the bar, I see what's that about?" Dokuga pulls Tetsujo's sleeve, hoping he's going to at least be able to read his lips.

The beginning of an headache is already starting to build up behind his eyes. The sooner they get info, the sooner they leave.

Tetsujo nods and it's enough for Dokuga to stride towards the table. Cards and money is being passed around by shady individuals. A gaunt man with a curly bush of grey hair sitting on top of his head like a dollop of dust is smoking a cigar, one arm around the shoulders of a very young girl.

The music is less loud in this corner of the room, which allows Dokuga to speak normally as he addresses the man and the people surrounding him. "Can I play as well?"

At the other side of the bar, **Tetsujo** orders a beer at the counter, looking around and keeping his ears open to any piece of interesting conversation. It takes him a while to realize the bartender is ignoring him. Tetsujo tries to call for him again, fruitlessly.

"You're going to have to assert yourself if you want something to drink," an unfamiliar but friendly voice comments as a stout man sits next to him before slamming a fist on the table.

"Oi! Jeff! Pour two here you fucking piece of shit!" He shouts at the bartender, who gives him a thumbs up and proceeds to hand them two large glasses of amber liquid. The man lets a few coins fall on the counter and the bartender makes them disappear before Tetsujo can count them.

"Thank you…"

"Well, it's been a while since I last saw a Cross-Eye," the man takes a long gulp from his glass, and Tetsujo feels a cold shiver. He can't believe he didn't realize how weird it was for the man in front of him to wear a mask until he said those words. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you. There's plenty of us in Migimaru," he continues.

"Of us…?" He repeats. "You mean Sorcerers?!" He lowers his voice and leans closer to the masked man so that only he can hear him.

"What else?" He raises an eyebrow at him. "Most escaped during the Rain, but there's some who simply decided to live in Hole before then." He finishes the beer in another go. "It's as shitty as home, but at least here they don't treat you like garbage because they don't like your magic!"

"...or you have none."

The man looks at him with something akin to _pity,_ which sets Tetsujo's nerves on _fire_ and he has to make an effort not to stand up and leave just for that.

"Listen," Tetsujo starts, pushing away the beer, "do you know a guy called Artie?"

"Human or Sorcerer?"

"Human," Tetsujo looks around the room and sees Dokuga sitting at a table with some shady individuals. He hopes he's ok. "A few of his men attacked the place where I work because the owner is like us."

The masked man nods slowly. "That's rough, buddy. People like that exist I suppose, especially since that blasphemous Church has been founded!"

Tetsujo can imagine he's talking about the People of Hole. "Do you think he's tied to them?"

The man shrugs. "Might be, but it you're looking for information, you might want to ask Rob and hos gang." He points a thumb in the direction of the table where Dokuga is.

"My...friend's already on it…" he says and for a moment he hesitates. _What was I about to say?_ He passes a hand over his face. _Don't be ridiculous._

"Tetsujo," Dokuga's voice comes from his back and he almost jumps out of the seat.

"Yes!" He turns around. The masked man is waving goodbye as Dokuga sits in his empty chair.

"I've got a place," he announces simply.

-

They _tried_ to get him to sleep in a guest room or something. It was pretty easy to sneak back into Shin's apartment room. There was almost no one walking through the corridors of the annex anyway. Some rooms were still in the sorry state the Cross-Eyes reduced them in.

The hot shower was what he needed to relax and wash away the day's stress. Worries and tension flowing down the drain, like debris during a storm.

When he's done, he's surprised to see Shin, sitting on the bed, staring intently at the metal mask in his hands.

"If you're going to say," Kaiman shamelessly _drapes_ himself over Shin's shoulders, "that you like that thing more than this pretty face I'm going to punch you."

Shin chuckles, leaving the mask on the bedside and trying to push Kaiman back on the mattress. He manages to get him down, not that Kaiman really tries to resist, and just stays there, staring at him.

"...what?" Kaiman huffs with impatience after a few seconds.

"I was just thinking you'd have never said something like that, before." He muses out loud, letting himself fall and rest his head againg Kaiman's chest.

"Eh...what?"

"You used to be so ashamed of your face…"

It takes him a while to realize what Shin is talking about. Laughter bubbles out of Kaiman's throat. "Dude, I was a teenager, isn't that shit standard?"

"Still," Shin mumbles, eyes closed, as tiredness starts to get a hold on him. "It's weird how much you've changed…"

Kaiman blinks. Kasukabe said the same thing. _Like, how much more you smile now._ "Changed…" Risu's words from that morning echo in his mind. "Even if I've changed, I'm still me."

"Obviously," Shin mumbles, sleepy. "You're still you."

Kaiman looks around at the unfamiliar ceiling and the devil furniture, until his eyes stop on the two masks sitting abandoned on the bedside, black and red, next to each other. _Then, why does all this feel so wrong?_


	7. Call/Crawl

The car ride is surprisingly boring and awkward at the same time. Noi as always sat at the front; for a brief moment, she and Ai bumped into each other trying to open the door at the same time, and  **Shin** wished for the floor to open and swallow him whole.

That said, Ai ended up sitting in the back.

"Feet down from there!" Shin exclaims, catching a glimpse in the rear view mirror of Ai lying down on the backseat. "You'll get the leather dirty!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, your highness…" he groans in the tone of someone who's not sorry at all.

"At least take your shoes off."

He chuckles. "You don't want me to take shoes off in your car."

Shin purses his lips to stifle a smile. "You're right, I don't."

He hears a shuffling noise and realizes with relief Ai is sitting up straight. Suddenly, his arms wrap around him and the car seat and he can feel his breath pressed against his neck.

Shin was never so thankful he was driving on an empty road, the car briefly swerving as he is taken by surprise. "I'm  _ driving  _ here!" He exclaims, positive his face is almost as red as his mask right now.

That doesn't stop Ai. He kisses and nibbles at Shin's neck teasingly for a few seconds, before sitting back down, but keeps his hands clasped around Shin's neck. "And I'm bored. And hungry. Can we stop somewhere?"

"We've  _ just _ left…"

"We've been driving for  _ two hours!"  _ He moans, finally letting go.

"Honestly, I'm hungry too," Noi butts in.

Shin almost loses control of the vehicle again. For a moment, he didn't register Noi's presence at all. He  _ knew _ she was sitting next to him but did nothing to be acknowledged for a while. He feels almost ashamed. "Alright," he sighs, feeling like a parent whose children joined forces against.

Predictably, Ai and Noi high five behind his back.

They stop at a shitty smoke station with an equally shitty restaurant to the side. They park the car and head to the building.

"Mask on," he tells Ai when they're almost at the door.

He makes an annoyed face. "We're going to  _ eat." _

"At least wear it while we head in, that's common courtesy," Noi adds.

He's pouting, before his face disappears behind the gas mask.

Shin wishes they didn't have to tell him that, wishes he would stop acting so...so…

_ Human. _

He shakes his head. It's wrong to think it like that. He's not supposed to think like that anymore.

They end up ordering a full breakfast. The restaurant is empty save for the three of them and the employees, but the food is greasy, cheap and good.

Their masks hang from the hooks at the side of their chairs, a detail Ai found rather amusing.

"So, this quarry," Noi starts casually, "what did the Cross-Eyes use it for?"

Shin sees Ai swallow slowly, glancing up at her, and for a moment he thinks he's going to close himself off again, but instead he starts talking.

"Storage mostly. The thing is, there's some kind of reservoir at the bottom, and no actual outflow." He crosses his arms, scowling. "So I can imagine quite a lot of Rainwater gathered there."

Shin nods, realizing another interesting detail. "It would be a pain to move it, so it's reasonable to think that’s the base of operations." The structure of a quarry gives them the advantage too, they can ambush them like the  _ rats _ they are. Shin grins. "I'm looking forward to this."

Ai opens his eyes to look at him. He makes a face like he's about to say something, but just sights and restarts eating.

A short figure wearing a chef hat over a helmet keeps peeking at their table from the kitchen door whenever a waiter walks through. Shin knows they have been keeping an eye on their table for a few minutes, so he's not surprised when they walk out of the kitchen and stride towards their table.

Shin's hand rushes to his hammer, but the figure is unharmed and their body language doesn't betray any sign of aggression. When Ai looks up at them, though, he  _ freezes, _ like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I knew it was you!" The voice is that of a young man, ecstatic with joy, he leans on the table towards Ai. "You're still alive, Aikawa!"

"Heyy, Motoi…" Ai is definitely forcing himself to smile but he's tense like a violin string. "Right back at ya! You working here?"

The man nods, crossing his arms proudly. "It was my Gran's place. She's gone with last year's Rain, so I took over. Also, my magic got a little bit better…"

"Really! That's great!"

"...but it turns out it just turns oil into water. Hell, it's good to wash dishes!"

"Don't complain too much, I'm still stuck with no magic right now…"

Shin looks at the man sitting across the table, unable to wipe an amused smirk from his face.

"Shut up. Just- shut up." Ai whispers when he sees his expression.

"Sorry about that. Glad to see you're ok, though!" Motoi continues, "and that you enjoy my food!"

"Yeah it's great!" Ai taps his chopsticks on the plate. "So, is everybody else alright?"

The young man seems to deflate. "Actually, from our old class only me and Sugimoto survived…" he sighs. "What about Risu?"

"Oh, Risu's doing great," Ai waves dismissively. "He's training to become a Devil right now…"

"You're kidding! Risu is?!" He moves his arms quickly.  _ "Risu?!" _

Ai laughs and it sounds almost genuine, if Shin didn't know him well.

"Man…" Motoi sighs. "Risu's becoming a Devil, you're working for the En family, and I'm still here frying chips in the middle of nowhere…"

Ai frowns, not surprised Motoi recognized who he was with. "I work in a restaurant too, actually. This is just a one time thing."

"Really?"

"Hey, I want another serving of this!" Noi lifts up her empty plate.

"Me too, so get cooking," Shin adds.

Motoi fumbles a bit, taken by surprise by the sudden request, but bows and quickly returns to the kitchen.

Shin finally sees Ai relax and sigh with relief. "Who…?"

"An acquaintance from when I used to live in Zagan…" he sighs, finishing the rest of his food quickly. "This is also one of the reasons why I didn't want to wear  _ this _ mask…"

"I thought you only hung out with Risu," Shin jokes.

"What? No. Believe it or not, I was pretty popular!' He grins. It makes Shin happy to see him finally relax again.

"I can imagine," Shin smirks again.  _ "Aikawa." _

His smile instantly vanishes. "Don't."

But it's too interesting and  _ exciting _ to let it go. He leans on his hand. "Risu told me but I never actually processed the fact that you had adopted a Sorcerer's name for yourself!" He gives him an amused grin.

There's no sign if amusement on Ai's face. "Just don't." He repeats, and this time his tone and glare leaves no margin for doubt. This is also a topic he doesn't want to address. "I'll be in the car."

_ Now  _ he's closed in on himself, Shin realizes with a vice-like grip squeezing his heart. It's a familiar expression he's wearing but not for that reason a less unpleasant one to see.

"Hey," Shin grabs his hand before he can walk away. "I'm sorry, I just wanted-"

Ai slips his mask back on, for the first time without having to be prompted to. "Let's just get this job over with."

Sometimes Shin feels like he's dealing with a glass statue. The harder he tries to hold it and keep it close, the more cracks appear and it feels like it might break at any time.

A waiter comes back with their food.

He's not hungry anymore.

Once they're done eating the second serving and paying, they find him sitting still in the back of the car, face still hidden.

They take their seats, in silence, and get back on the road. Empty and rural, coasting the side of a verdant hill, a stream rushing below.

"Can I tell you both something?"

Ai’s voice is so uncharacteristically quiet when he speaks again, and the mask muffling it slightly doesn't help.

"Sure," Noi answers for both of them. "What is it?"

Shin's hands tighten around the steering wheel.

"For Hell's sake,  _ stop  _ calling me Ai."

Shin pushes the brakes, bringing the car to a halt in the middle of the road a little bit faster than it would be safe. But then again, there's no one else around. When the vehicle’s still, he turns around, one eyebrow raised to emphasize his puzzlement.  _ “Wha- Why?” _

"I  _ really  _ don’t like it." hands clasped in his lap, he’s uncannily still. “That...or  _ any  _ other name I’ve used in the past.”

"It's your name…" Shin is confused. He knows nobody else really calls him that anymore, but he assumed that was only because that's not how they met him as.

"It hasn't felt like  _ mine _ in a long time," he says quietly. Shin can feel his stare behind the green tinted lenses. "So, just don't."

_ Oh. _

_ That's what he meant with 'don't' earlier too. _

"Sorry...Kaiman," Shin tries, and it feels  _ wrong,  _ but he still forces himself to. “I’ll try.” It's name that tastes bitter on his tongue: it's a reptilian face with Cross-Eye marks, it's an enemy of the Family,  _ it's a victim of his hammer, planted in his neck to tear the flesh apart. _

"Sure, no prob," Noi keeps her voice light but glances at him with ill concealed worry.

They travel in silence.

After a while, Shin realizes the man in the back has fallen asleep.

-

The large construction site looks abandoned at a first glance. A dusty billboard shows a picture of what the building was supposed to look like when finished. The date is from 10 years ago.

Far away from the city centre, the evening is deadly silent as they stand in front of the entrance.

"Gyuchi?" Johnson chitters, almost giving  **Dokuga** a heart attack.

"You stay here and hide, only come after us if you hear the signal," he instructs the giant cockroach.

Tetsujo eyes him cautiously. "Are you sure he understands you…?"

Jonhson opens his mouths and raises his upper legs. "Shocking!" He announces, before waddling next to a pile of garbage and trying to bury himself in it.

"I think he does…" Dokuga checks his weapons and bags one more time. The place looks empty but it's probably just a front. He takes out a large combat knife, shifting it into his hands. He has also got a few smaller ones to throw but this is the most reliable one he's got in case of close combat. Tetsujo's is longer and thinner, a kitchen knife but not for this less sharp or deadly.

"Let's go," he announces, pointing up at the complex structure of ladders and scaffolding. "We'll survey the area from there."

They climb quietly and fast, every muscle in his body is tense and his heart is racing with adrenaline.

There's nothing to see at first, other than plastic and dust and a few piles of bags of cement, but it doesn't take long for them both to spot a small moving light.

Balancing on the steel beams, they get to a better vantage point and finally see that the light belongs to a large security guard with a flashlight. Following his path they see others, moving either in dim light or darkness, with goggles that allow them to see in the dark.

They count half a dozen guards roaming the site. Too many for just some construction materials.

"We can take them easily," Dokuga smiles faintly, but Tetsujo looks hesitant.

"Do we have to? This was only supposed to be a recon mission," he hisses.

"We need to figure out  _ what _ they're guarding!"

There's a shuffle below and suddenly a light is pointed upwards. They both freeze in place and flatten against the steel beam as the light passes below.

"Hey!" A voice calls from afar. "What are you doing?"

"I could've sworn I've heard voices…" another one comes from right below them.

Dokuga bites his cheek.  _ Sloopy. Careless. _

"Smith! Check the scaffolding!" The man barks an order and another guy starts to climb a ladder to get in a vantage point.

Dokuga exchanges a panicked look with Tetsujo. He looks around, they're still hidden for the time being but it's a matter of seconds. The man keeps searching with the flashlight. In a moment of Darkness, Dokuga throws some rocks at a nearby bin, making it rattle loudly.

As everybody's torches suddenly point towards that point, he signs Tetsujo to jump down and they both roll to the ground. Ignoring the pain from the rough landing, they hide behind a large container just as a light illuminates the place where they were hidden a few moments before.

"Nothing up here, chief!" A high-pitched voice barks.

"Keep your eyes open, the Boss is having an important  _ conversation _ and doesn't want to be disturbed!"

Dokuga grins. So whoever their leader is, they're hiding  _ here. _

He has no more doubts.  _ They're pushing forwards. _

-

The quarry is a desolate sight. Machinery and storage containers litter the landscape, rusty and abandoned. The quarry is a large jagged mouth at the side of a mountain, surrounded by a broken fence. A broken sign instructs visitors to check in at the office and wear safety equipment at all times.

A path and slope lead into a metal stairway leading into the depths.  **Kaiman** can still hear the echo of his footsteps on the walls of the quarry.

"There's no one around, is this the right place?" Noi looks around, kinda disappointed judging by her tone.

"Let's just go in," Kaiman sighs, heading for the slope. Worst case, they're on the road again and he's got no lead looking for those people, but he doesn't want to think about it yet. A gut feeling tells him  _ something  _ is indeed here.

"I don't like this," Shin mumbles, following quickly to walk beside him. He glances down the pit, but the bottom isn't visible. "That looks like the perfect place for an ambush."

"Please," Noi scoffs, "if any of them was  _ any  _ good, they wouldn't need to use tricks like the Rainwater to subdue other Sorcerers!"

Kaiman doesn't stop, but points at Noi over his shoulder. "Like she said."

Shin sighs. "Whatever. Just don't get hit by any more of those fuckin' darts, please."

Kaiman stops for a moment, at the end of the slope, before setting foot on the staircase. It creaks dangerously under his weight and wonders if it's going to be able to support all three of them. The creaks echo and resound in the quarry and Kaiman is suddenly aware of the  _ silence. _

"Why can't we see the bottom…?" Noi starts before he silences her with a frantic gesture.  _ She has a point.  _ The air below them looks almost  _ blurry. _ Shin might have been unto something when he mentioned an ambush.

He proceeds slowly, careful to make as little noise as possible, until his feet finally sink in what looks like a layer of smoke. It doesn't seem to have any effect, but as he proceeds and his head also sinks below the smoke's surface, all of a sudden his ears are overwhelmed with a cacophony of sounds.

The heavy huffing of a water pump, the moaning of machinery and the incessant chattering of several voices. He can also see light at the bottom, shining on storage units turned into houses and laboratories, a large pump partially submerged in a reservoir of murky water at the bottom, and several people walking around.

Kaiman crouches down and waits for Shin and Noi to catch up. "This place sure looks...lively," he whispers to them. "More lively than I remember."

"Is that Rainwater? Why aren't we feeling sick?" Shin points at the pool at the bottom.

"They're filtering it. I...I don't like this." Kaiman says between his teeth, looking back at Noi.

But Noi's eyes are transfixed on a certain shape on the opposite wall of the quarry. It almost looks like a giant cradle with a tube coming out of its top. The smoke flowing out swirls and collects into the thin layer making the base hidden from he outside world.

"Ohhh  _ shit,"  _ She hisses, evidently recognizing it. "Those  _ bastards…!" _

"What is that?"

Shin's expression also twists in rage at the sight. "Mr. En had all of those destroyed. Or so we thought."

Kaiman is starting to get annoyed. "What  _ is _ it?" He asks again, impatiently.

"It's an Extractor. That's it, they're going  _ down,"  _ Noi cracks her knuckles, starting to walk downstairs.

A short siren noise goes off and for a moment the three of them freeze, sure they've been spotted already, but after a moment and a crackle, a voice blasts from the speakers. "Naota, you fucking idiot, I can see you sleeping on the job!"

A man jumps awake down below, startled. Roughly at the same height as they are they see a small room, anchored on the rock, with a glass window overlooking the bottom of the quarry.

Kaiman grins, an idea starting to worm into his brain. "Get at the bottom of the stairs quietly if you can, I've got a plan…"

"That's  _ exactly  _ what I'm worried ab- and he's gone." Shin groans and looks at Noi, who just shrugs before starting the descent.

Kaiman jumps from the staircase unto the metal supports of the cabin, legs dangling in the air for a moment before he swings himself up and through an open window.

"Wha-" the man in the room turns around and immediately grabs a gun from the desk. He's not a Cross-Eye, surprisingly, meaning that former members either allied with new people or this place was discovered by another group.

Kaiman lodges the blade into his throat and he tumbles down like a weighty sack of potatoes, trying to grasp the knife with his last strength. That dealt with, Kaiman looks out of the large window. "Good thing we took care of this one first," he hums, then presses the button next to the microphone in the room.

"Hello, hello!" He announced, joyfully, just as he sees Shin and Noi reaching the bottom of the quarry and hiding behind a stack of boxes. "This is yer Captain speaking! Today's your lucky day, chance to get a brand new broom at the Saitama Excavation raffle! Head to the office upstairs for details! It's your lucky day!"

A few enraged shouts and a large group is already pointing at the broadcast room and running up the stairs. Kaiman waits for them to break into the room, waves at them and leaves the way he got in, landing right on top of one of the ones still climbing the stairs, causing them to fall in a chain reaction while he runs on their bodies to reach the bottom.

"Shin! The overlook!" He calls.

Noi is already running towards the Extractor, ripping out circuitry barehanded to shut it down. The curtain of smoke immediately starts to dissipate as she pulls an unconscious man out of the machine.

A plume of smoke flies towards the metal beams keeping the room in place and they  _ shatter, _ the box and the people inside crashing those who were still standing below.

"The next time you have a  _ plan  _ warn us a little sooner," Shin groans as they get surrounded, but there's certainly a smile barely visible under the rim of the mask.

Kaiman feels Shin's back against his as more people, both sporting the Cross-Eyes tattoos and don't, start surrounding them. "Do you also have a plan for getting out of here?"

Kaiman laughs and twirls the knife in his hand. "Yeah! It's called Kick Some Ass!" As the first person from the mob launches himself forward, Kaiman grabs him and turns around to throw him against Shin, who hits his head with the hammer, sending his brains scattering on the floor. The rest of the group starts charging, only a small group of them making the mistake to go after Noi.

It's a bloodbath, guts soon cover every inch of the floor in a circle around them, but people keep coming. Not unlike termites swarming out of their nest, they flow out of the corridors and tunnels in the rock walls and keep the two of them at the center of the room.

"These fuckers!" Shin shouts, panting in the brief moment between an attack and the next, and that's when Kaiman sees it.

A small group of people, headed for tbe pump via a catwalk suspended over the reservoir. Two of them carry large containers on their back, with tubes they connect to the main pump. Three more hold long rifles and the last, a tall woman with braided green hair and Cross-Eyes tattoos, oversees the operation.

"Hold them off!" Kaiman shouts at Shin, charging through the crowd to get on the catwalk. He lands in front of the three, a figure in black, covered in blood and flesh bits, holding a long war knife dripping blood in the murky water below.

They starts shooting a second too slow. Kaiman has already wrestled the gun out of the arms of one of them and uses his body as a shield to advance towards the rest of the group. When he's close enough, he throws the body at them both and while they're prone he takes their firearms and throws them into the water.

"Faster!" He hears the woman bark at the two men with tanks on their back.

A sharp pain to his side takes him by surprise as he sees the man he used as a shield grin as he coughs blood and falls limp, before sliding off the catwalk and down into the dark waters. A small combat knife is buried to the hilt in his midsection, he can taste blood and bile before they come rushing out of his mouth, flowing through the cracks in his mask.

Kaiman grabs the knife's hilt, he can feel the blade twisting painfully his insides.  _ It's going to be a problem to fight with this thing in, but taking it out will hasten blood loss… _

"Hey," the woman's voice calls his attention.

Surprised she would call him instead of running away or attacking, he stands still. The sounds of the fight still echo behind him, but she's staring him down quiet and stern.

"You're not one of En's," she narrows her eyes, "you a merc? We can pay you."

Kaiman scoffs. "Nah, just a guy who's pretty pissed at those who use tricks like Rainwater to prevail…" he starts to step forwards but the woman makes a gesture and grabs a lever at her side of the catwalk.

"Not another step, sweetheart, or I'll sink the passage. How do you feel about a dip in Rainwater?"

Kaiman doesn't manage to completely stifle a laugh at the irony. "Eh, been there, did that. Kinda crap. One star." Before she can comment, he rips out the knife he was stabbed with and throws it at the tank on one of their shoulders. Thick black sludge spurts out, a sight that makes his skin crawl and his blood freeze. "I  _ thought _ that was what you were doing."

"Oh?" She raises an eyebrow at him while the man whose tank was pierced fumbles to let it fall from his shoulders and steps back. A smell like oil is starting to pervade the air. "That's enough," the woman yells at the man whose tank is still whole and he unlatches the tube from the pump, pulling a lever to raise another catwalk, perpendicular to the first, to run away.

The woman kneels down to the abandoned broken tank and takes the knife, coated in sludge, pointing ut at Kaiman with a smug expression. "Want to get another taste? This is certainly going to kill you, though…"

"Ah, I see," he realizes in a moment. "You're human."

She shudders. "You're good," she admits. "Yeah, I was a fucking slave when that fucker En was in power and I'm in no hurry to get back to that life.'

She lunges forward but she's definitely not a knife fighter, her slices are sloppy and easy to dodge even as Kaiman starts to feel lightheaded from blood loss.

"Let it go, just run away, there's no point in this!"

"Oh, sweetie," she grins as the fog above them finally completely dissipates and Kaiman realizes they're completely surrounded by at least a hundred people, stationed with rifles and other weapons at various heights throughout the quarry. As he looks around, he's distracted long enough for the woman to attack him. Too late to dodge, he shields himself with an arm. Flesh rips with a sickening noise as the blade slashes through his muscles and tendons. Fingers going numb as pain flares in his nerves.

_ Pain. _

_ Cold. _

_ Cold that creeps under his skin, numbing his senses. It’s not a pleasant coldness, a chill springtime breeze that makes you walk faster and brace against the wind, it’s freezing and damp and no matter how warm his blood is, he can feel it slow down as the cold flows into his veins. _

_ Such a powerful hate, solidified in that form, this is what he recognizes that familiar cold as. And even though there’s no longer a consciousness behind it, he still has to fight to keep himself sane, not to lose sight of where he is,  _ who _ he is. What he needs to do. _

_ He knows his feet are on the catwalk and yet he's falling, he’s 15 again and floating in the waste, air failing to reach his lungs, deafening bubbling boiling sound, acid burning at his skin. _

And the pain is gone.

"What the-" the woman steps back, eyes wide in shock as she fails to process what she's seeing.

Kaiman moves his fingers again, closing and opening his fist a few times. The slash stopped bleeding and it looks much less severe.

_ I can do this, just like back then. _

He turns around, showing his back to the woman, trusting in the fact she's still too surprised to react.

_ This might be the most stupid idea I've ever had.  _ And yet some part of him feels  _ ecstatic  _ at the prospect, blood rushing out of his stomach wound, dripping in the water below.

Shin and Noi are surrounded. He's going to bleed out.  _ No choice. _

_ I've done this before.  _ And now  _ it  _ is gone, he can be the master of what little power it's left behind.

"Sorry, I'm borrowing this again,” he grits his teeth, plunging his injured arm into the open tank.

Ice and loathing flowing in his veins, being sucked in from his wounds. His blood is on  _ fire,  _ acid burning under his skin, muscle, bone.

_ I will get out of this. _

-

**Shin** 's hopes of getting out alive dwindle by the second but it's the sight of the entire quarry with rifles pointing at them that really cements the  _ dread. _

En knows where they went, maybe if they're lucky he will recover their bodies and have Kikurage bring them back, but there's little hope things will go easily.

They  _ learned _ those bastards.

They appeared little by little from the caves, letting him underestimate them until he was exhausted and only once he was they emerged in thick groups. Shin tried to use his magic then, but they knew how to stop him and evading so many attacks became difficult at his level of exhaustion.

Noi fights by his side and she's bleeding. A bad sign, a sign they got to her too.

He cannot see Ai.

_ Kaiman.  _ He tries to call him but his voice gets drowned by the shouting and screams.

He's almost certain he's going to die.

And then  _ it hits. _

The ground swims below his feet, his head suddenly throbbing in dull pain. Annoying, but bearable, even given his conditions.

But it's not so merciful to everyone.

_ Everyone  _ around him falls to the ground, either unconscious or screaming or clutching their head in pain, including Noi.

_ Rainwater. _

_ But why just  _ now?

"Shin!" Kaiman's voice sounds distant but clear, echoing in the cavern clearly now that the fighting has stopped. It brings him such relief to hear it again. "Shin! Can you  _ move?!" _

It's panicked, frantic, and for a moment Shin doesn't understand the meaning of that question.

And then it hits him.

"Yeah," he grins, clutching his hammer.

He  _ tears _ through the crowd like a beast, against those who are unable to fight back and the few who  _ try. _ Those who try to escape, he lets them go, the rest perishes under his hammer one by one.

Lambs to the slaughter.

Blood flows down the neatly cut rock, tinging the muddy waters below a deep red.

As he walks back down the pressure lifts suddenly, leaving him to almost lose his balance.

"Senpai!" Noi calls from below, waving at him. "You did it!"

"Are you ok? Where's-?" the words die in his mouth as a figure covered in injuries and blood falls down from the catwalk on the edge of the water. A woman with green hair and Cross-Eyes tattoos.

Shin looks up just in time to see Kaiman fall down to his knees and collapse. He's immediately bolting up the staircase and on the catwalk, Noi following at a close distance.

"Kaiman!" He calls, lifting his limp body. Similarly to the woman's, his body is covered in injuries and he seems to have lost a lot of blood.

Swearing under his breath, he fumbles with the locks of his mask to slip it off his face, to help him breathe a litle better, but the sight makes his blood run cold.

Noi's right behind him and  _ she saw _ because he hears her make an alarmed strangled noise as the mask falls on the catwalk.

"Senpai, he's…'

Kaiman's face, exhausted and unconscious, is marked by bright red crosses around his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame that damn illustration in the Sketchbook.


	8. Scars/Scarce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the medical terms are not accurate, it's been a long time since I studied this stuff.

_Dokuga is 16 and still learning how to handle a blade. He cuts and slices the wooden mannequin but even the still foe manages to get the best of him when a misstep makes him lose his balance and stumble forwards, face in the dirt._

_Yet, he stands up. He needs to get better, the Boss won’t train them directly but they get to see him fight up close and it’s by mimicking his movements that they’re slowly learning. And they_ need _to learn: more and more people are joining the organization, Dokuga needs to_ prove _he deserves his place at the Boss’ side._

_He starts the routine again, switching hand and grip, chipping splinters away from the mannequin’s chest. He doesn’t even realize he’s being watched until the door slams close. Dokuga jumps, knife falling from his grip._

_“I need you to get these things to the Hydra Forest hideout,” the Boss doesn’t even look at him, he just leaves a piece of paper on one of the crates in the yard. “Can you do that?”_

_“Yes!” He shouts immediately, fumbling to get the paper in his hands. On it, a list of medical and surgical instruments and pieces of machinery. He would have to steal most of those but he has to, he can’t disappoint the Boss._

_“Good,” he nods, stern, before taking off and walking away, not even looking at Dokuga in the eye._

_He doesn't need to, whatever it takes, he will do his best to please him._

-

 **Dokuga** wakes up in the almost total darkness of the rusty storage container they slipped into last night. His limbs feel sore and his head hurts, but he’s glad he woke up when he has because there’s _noises_ outside.

Realizing the door was to heavily guarded to slip in without alerting or harming the guards, they decided to hide in an old unused storage container and wait for the chance to slip in. A chance that didn’t really come up so they ended up falling asleep on the cold metal floor.

Tetsujo is still asleep when Dokuga quietly stands up and stretches, bones popping, he’s incredibly still if not for the slowly rising and falling of his chest. Dokuga gently shakes him awake as he looks outside through a thin opening in the container’s side.

Unlike the day before, the large construction site is _crowded._ Men and women of all age, but all in better condition and shape than the average citizen of Hole, crowd the area around them. Dokuga suddenly loses his point of view when someone leans against the container, blocking his window.

It’s difficult to understand separate conversations, but he tries his best to catch some sentences, at least to understand what they’re doing there.

“...is hard but it’s a good thing, isn’t it? It gives us purpose.”

“...while my sister is working in the beautification…”

“...and suddenly I was back to normal! Apparently it happened to a lot of folks…”

There’s a loud noise, like someone banging a metal rod on a container or steel beam, and the crowd quickly falls silent. The person leaning on the container also walks away and Dokuga can take a peek outside. What he sees make his blood run cold: every single person in the construction site is _standing to attention._

“Welcome back, cadets!” A distorted voice announces. Dokuga tries to see who's talking but his view is limited. "First of all, a word from Brother Neves, speaking on the behalf of the People of Hole."

Dokuga shoots Tetsujo a worried look. So that church _is_ involved with those people.

A raspy and hoarse voice speaks up. "A moment of silence for our comrade Strand, brutally slaughtered by those wicked ones who oppose our peace and autonomy. May his soul reach Nirvana."

Dokuga's head starts to spin and even if he can't see it, he knows they just exposed or pulled out one of those statuettes, or more than one.

 _I need to stay awake._ He bites his tongue, hoping the pain will help him to stay conscious. After a few quiet moments, the nausea passes and he can look outside again.

"I see a few new faces, good." The first person speaks again. "Don't be mistaken, this is not a Church or a cult. Our group's purpose, much like the Monks' Beautification Project, is to make our city a better and _safer_ place to live in!"

There's some movement and the crowd parts, letting a short but heavily armed figure walk amongst them. Their entire body is covered in what almost looks like a diving suit.

"Eleven years ago a similar project was cut short by the horrific action of _one_ blasted Sorcerer!"

The crowd erupts in an assortment of boos and whistles.

"One overlooked for many years because he was allowed to live peacefully amongst up!" He continues, silencing them. "We say _no more!"_

The crowd echoes, "No more!"

"This city, _this world_ belongs to us humans and now that the Holy spirit of this city has manifested itself to protect us, we have the means to find and cull the maggots infesting our society!"

 _Well, this is bad._ Dokuga thinks back at what Tetsujo told him, about the Sorcerers living in Migimaru Hole. As long as it was a few random weirdos they could deal with them, but this person, whoever they are, is training an _army._

“We have to do something,” he hisses, even though he doesn’t really know what _something_ is. They can maybe take on a few of them but there's too many of them and Dokuga doesn't really know how well armed they are. Even if he uses their secret weapon, they hardly have the advantage.

Against Sorcerers, they could get said advantage by blocking their magic. They always lost their composure when they realized they couldn't emit smoke. Humans are different, even if Dokuga can't really say he's ever fought one seriously.

 _If only Saji was here._ Saji was the best strategist of the group, especially for delicate plans like this one. Ushishimada would've probably been able to take on the bulkier ones with his brute strength. Ton could've supported them from above, striking from a distance with his throwing knives.

Natsuki would've been their shield, in more ways than one.

These guys are fanatics, Dokuga realizes, but they're good people, people who have been abused and _angry_ for a long time.

They're not that different from the Cross-Eyes, he realizes. _They're us._

Suddenly, Dokuga knows what to do. Or at least it's worth trying.

The people outside are breaking formation, the one in a dive suit disappear from view although Dokuga can't rule out he might be still around.

He touches Tetsujo's shoulder and gives him a thin lipped smile. "If this goes south, don't help me. Just go back and warn Nikaido as soon as you got the chance, I'll find a way to catch you up."

Tetsujo's eyes widen in alarm, but before he can start to argue, Dokuga leaves him the pouch containing Smoke and their secret weapon and slips outside of the container, mingling in with the crowd.

Nobody notices him at first. There's at least fifty people scattered around the site and they're not paying attention to Dokuga until he approaches the man in a dive suit.

If they know what Dokuga's crosses mean, it doesn't show through their body language. "What is it? Training is about to begin."

"I just want to talk," his heart is racing painfully fast, it's hard to remain expressionless. If they pull out one of those effigies, he's done for before getting to take out a knife. He opens his arms. "You can ask one of yours to disarm me," he announces, knowing that going for the knives might set them off. "I don't want to fight."

"Why would we want to fight-" a monk starts, but the man raises a hand to silence him.

"Well, well, before we do that a small _test_ is in order isn't it?" He's smiling, under that getup. Dokuga can hear it in his tone.

"There's no need," he says quickly. "I'm one of them. One of those _maggots_ you mentioned earlier."

Those around them who were standing close enough to hear their conversation stop and turn. Dokuga can _feel_ their murderous stares on his back.

"Please," he hates to beg, "we have no quarrel with you people. Most of the Sorcerers who live here in Hole can't use any magic-" he feels the ground spin and his vision starts to blacken. It takes a superhuman effort to stand on his feet.

"Put that away, Daniel. No idiot would lie about this."

The relief is immediate, Dokuga looks up at the man again.

"Search the perimeter! Make sure this one isn't a distraction!" The masked man barks suddenly and the crowd starts to move. _Silently,_ he prays Tetsujo isn't found.

His prayer is short lived when a shout and several exclamations announce Tetsujo being brought up to where they are.

His gaze is not as accusing as Dokuga thought it would be.

"Matching tattoos? How cute," the man says ironically. "You guys in a gang? Or maybe you're _Partners?"_ He laughs. "Not that I care. Is this all of them?"

A large man with a shaved head and a tank top nods. "Looks like it."

"Well then. Tie them up and bring them downstairs, use the effigies if they complain too much."

Tetsujo gives Dokuga an alarmed look, but Dokuga just shakes his head.

"You wanted to talk?" The man approaches Dokuga as his hands are being bound. "Oh, _you'll_ talk."

Dokuga is starting to suspect this has been a very bad idea.

-

_It's cold, a cold so intense to burn him like an igniting fire from the inside out._

_Regret starts to sink in as the burning searing pain travels up is arms into his chest and with a powerful heartbeat it is sent into every corner of his body, into his limbs, inside his organs, into his_ head. Hate and rage _that are alien to him, threatening to overwhelm his thoughts._

 _"No! No! Get out of my-"_ **_he_ ** _steps back, panic overwhelmed by pain flaring behind his eyes as he stumbles, panting, on the floor. He's vaguely aware his injuries are closing but_ what's the price?! What's happening?! Why does it hurt?! It's not supposed to hurt!

_His mouth opens in a silent scream as his brain feels like it's being shattered and reconstructed, molten metal strands firing up instead of synapses._

_In a moment of lucidity he sees the woman pick up a weapon. Fear and confusion still reflected in her eyes._ Not good, not good. _He's in no shape to defend himself right now._

If only I could- _the thought hasn't even been completely processed in his brain when the pain flares again, from his brain to his chest, travelling back into his limbs. His fingers burn so much he fears the flesh is going to melt off his bones; he has to clench his teeth to avoid biting his tongue, nails digging into his palms, drawing blood and...and…_

Oh, shit.

_With sheer terror and incredible sudden clarity, he makes an effort to grab the knife he let go of earlier and, shaking, slices thin cuts on his fingertips._

_It's not blood that pours out, it's_ Smoke, _thick and heavy Smoke, mirroring the texture of the sludge the tank used to be full of. As it pours out, the relief from pain is immediate, warmth rushing back into his body. But the Smoke doesn't congeal in the familiar stick shape he expects, it swirls and keeps pouring out, spreading through the quarry. He's definitely not smiling when the flow increases out of his control, widening the cuts on his fingers painfully. He's not sure he can stop it._

_The woman stops and turns around in surprise. Cries of pain echo from down below and all around them. His face twists in horror at the realization. "No! Stop!" He clenches his fists in a futile attempt to stop the flow of Smoke, and stands up, taking a step back._

_The woman turns around to face him, her expression ironically mirroring his own. "Are you doing this?!" Her voice a shrill exclamation of fear. "Who the fuck are you?!"_

_He ignores her. There's only one though in his mind. If all Sorcerers are being affected and she isn't, then Shin also…_

Shin was able to fight, at the bottom of the Lake.

_"Shin!" He calls as loud as he can, voice echoing on the walls, frantic with panic and worry. "Shin! Can you move?!"_

Please, please!

_"Yeah!" He hears back and he's flooded with relief. He kneels down and focuses on his breathing until the Smoke starts to flow with less intensity._

_There's a noise of quick steps and he sees the woman starting to run away. Grabbing the knife he used to cut himself, he stands up and catches up to her, cutting down to open a wide gash on her back._

_She gasps, stumbling for a moment before turning around, her eyes full of fear and anger and she strikes him with a blade he didn't realize she was holding._

_Surprised, Kaiman lets his knife fall and she cuts again a few times before her attempts become too weak. She falls to her knees and for a moment Kaiman allows himself to relax, but she's back up in a moment, rage burning in her eyes as she attacks him with fury that takes him by surprise. She slices and cuts until he pushes her away and she falls off the catwalk._

_Panting, Kaiman doesn't realize that Smoke has stopped flowing out of his hands. The ground swims and he falls down face first on the catwalk, the world slowly fading to black._

**Kaiman** wakes up with a start and he's already out of breath. At the realization he can't move freely, he looks frantically around trying to comprehend what is going on around him and where he is.

He sees he's in a dark, unfamiliar room, shapes barely recognisable as old, broken furniture, the window open on a starry sky. He's laying on a bare bed with no mattress and heavy chains tie him to the metal frame.

His body feels as if it has been bruised in every corner. He tries to move and the chains rattle, that's when he realizes one of the shadows in the room is moving. It's standing _up._

"Senpai, he's awake."

There's a familiar groan and some unintelligible sound of protest.

"Noi?" Kaiman calls in the direction of the shadow. "What the actual _fuck?!_ Why am I tied up?"

There's silence on her part, that's when he realizes Shin is also standing up. He moves in the dark and pulls a cord to turn on the light.

Kaiman finally sees the room they're in is some sort of abandoned house, with broken or covered furniture and moldy walls. The second thing he notices is that Shin and Noi are covered in blood and their clothes are ripped in several places, but they don't seem to be injured, which means Noi managed to heal them. He's immediately relieved.

The third thing he notices, with growing confusion is _how_ they're looking at him. Tense, like beasts about to jump their prey. _No,_ like animals waiting for a predator to strike before running away, Shin's hand holds the handle of his hammer like he's seriously considering to use it.

Kaiman has an inkling of why they're like this. After all _that_ power almost killed them _twice._ They know it well. _He knows it well._ That's probably the same reason why he's tied up.

_Not that it can actually stop him from using it again._

"Sorry," he croaks, and he sees doubt cross their features. "I didn't know I could do _that,_ or I would've warned you…"

Shin is the first to relax and the distrust quickly melts into relief tinged with horror. "It's...you, isn't it?"

Kaiman blinks. "And who the fuck am I supposed to-" the words die in his throat at the realization. _"That thing_ is _gone,_ you know that." He says matter-of-fact, but he hates how _desperate_ it sounds. "You were there, I'm just…"

_Lying._

He remembers those times, the rage, the joy, the _pride._

 _He didn't realized he'd been fighting_ Shin, _the first time. It was just another Sorcerer to slay and collect the head of._

 _It was when he took his mask off that, for the first time in years, he_ hesitated. _The man laying on the ground, one step away from death, was…_

 _It was that hesitation that allowed En to escape him, that allowed him to_ wake up _from Hole's control._

But even though he was able to confess to Dokuga and Tetsujo, to Nikaido, he can't do that to Shin.

He can't do that and keep the fragile little _time_ they finally got to have.

"I'm just me." _It's always been me._

 _That is the truth,_ of course but oh, how much he wishes Shin never finds out what that entails.

Shin's face twists with a multitude of feelings in a single second. Kaiman can only imagine what he's going through.

Noi looks at him. "Should we…?"

Shin lets the hammer drop at his feet and falls back into a dusty armchair, passing both hands over his face.

"...yeah."

Noi approaches, her eyes wide and steady on Kaiman, cautious like a cornered beast. She kneels and unties the chains, only to quickly step back when Kaiman sits up. His muscles feel like they've been flash-burned with acid from the inside. He can move, but it's like cells have been replaced with aching rubber bands and there's a sharp constant pain behind his left eye. _Where his Devil tumor is supposed to be._

He presses the palm of his left hand on said eye, in an attempt to momentarily relieve the pain, and looks at the palm of his right hand. All wounds on his body have closed, but deep scars line his fingertips where the Smoke poured out 

_Oh, shit._ The realization sinks into his stomach like a pit.

He can use magic again! _But..._ not _his_ magic, the Smoke didn't summon his beloved Gyoza Wand, it has become _something else._ Something he's not sure he wants at all.

He barely realizes Shin has sat next to him until his hands wrap gently around his. They're cold and rough and _familiar_ and Kaiman just closes his eyes and holds them tight, pulling them towards his lips.

He hears Shin's familiar huff and chuckle, before he speaks again. "So, what happened? What _actually_ happened?"

Kaiman looks up and is confused when he sees Shin briefly _wince._ He tells them everything, or mostly everything. He omits it was his idea to try and use the stuff they distilled from Rainwater to heal himself and only twists the story in such a way they might think it was a _chance_ he came in contact with it after the tank was broken.

He sees Shin's eyes widen and his hold tightens when he says he was able to use magic. _Isn't it what you wanted?_

"But that doesn't make sense…" Noi is the first to comment. "One's magic doesn't _change._ Everyone can cast one single type of magic all their life! The only exception was-" she stops, looking at him.

"Yeah."

She crosses her arms. "Well, now I feel dumb."

Despite the situation, Kaiman finds himself grinning. He leans back against the wall. It's anything but comfortable and he would do everything to be in an actual bed for now. Shin's cold hands move hesitantly to touch his forehead and eyelids. A familiar pattern that makes Kaiman relax almost instantly.

"If your magic changed if means that stuff affected your Devil tumor," Shin's fingers stop over Kaiman's left eye. They feel _really_ cold. "Does it hurt?"

He makes a face. "Like a fucking white hot needle in my brain," he groans, leaning forward against his shoulder. "Can we go home," he tells him, voice muffled by the fabric.

Shin hesitates. "Well, it's going to be…complicated to take you back to En's like this, but we can look for a place for you to stay until we figure something out."

Kaiman frowns and straightens up. "Like...what?"

Shin' eyes widen for a short moment.

"Oh, shit, I don't think he knows," Noi rubs the back of her neck awkwardly.

Shin looks at him in disbelief before sighing.

"What?!" Kaiman insists.

"Uh...there's no easy way to say this, but you look-" Shin sighs and points at the corner of his eye. "You… you have those marks again..."

“... _WHAT.”_

Shin keeps talking but his words lose meaning and volume, like Kaiman is hearing them from very far away. His breathing becomes more rapid, more shallow.

There's a part of him that _knew._ It's what happened last time as well, after all, when he got his memories back. _Actually,_ most of the time he spent in Hole, he wore those marks. But never with this face, never with _his_ face.

He's too well aware what they _mean._ To everyone and to himself.

He is vaguely aware they're calling his name, but he can't answer, breath coming out in gasps. His heart is hammering inside his chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for his skin.

The room spins as he tries to stand up and he has to squat on the floor, trying to make everything slow down to something his brain and body can cope with.

 _It's gone. It is gone._ It is _gone._ He repeats this like a mantra until the words lose their meaning. He wants to _leave,_ but the door is far away, towering shadows surround him, _it's gone, it went, breathe, gone, home, too far away…_ blackness.

Shin's in front of him, kneeling on the cold hard floor, Kaiman's fingers are white-knuckled holding onto his jacket like it's an anchor that keeps him from sinking. An anchor that allows him to think clearly.

There's no headache, no presence at the back of his brain watching through this eyes. This is just _power,_ residue power that Hole left behind, power that Kaiman can control because of the way _it_ changed his body.

Slowly, the room stop spinning. Terrifying shadows turn into worried faces. Kaiman's aware of the cold sweat and tears coating his face when he buries it on Shin's chest.

"Noi, can you…"

"Ah, s- sure! I'll be in the car." She hesitates, then walks away.

Shin's arms close around him in a tight embrace that seems to want to shield him from the world.

"I… _shit,"_ Kaiman manages to croak, a bitter laugh bubbling out of his throat. "I don't know what came over me…"

Shin holds him tighter. "Hey, it's gonna be alright," he says, but when Kaiman pulls back he still _flinches._ And now he knows _why._

Something inside of him stirs, he's surprised to find out he's slightly _pissed_ about it. At _Shin. This wouldn't_ have happened if he'd never dragged him on a Mission. He forces himself to realize this is not the case, he had no choice, it was En's order.

_There's always a choice._

_He just didn't make the hard one._

-

This time Kaiman was even _too_ eager to put his mask back on, **Shin** notes once they get back outside. He can't blame him.

He's a little thankful too. At least it's easier to look at him without a flight or fight effect being triggered inside his brain. When he was surprised or scared or smiling, earlier, Shin could almost forget the cross marks were there. It's when he's serious that suddenly he's reminded _that_ is a face that appeared often in his nightmares, waking and not. His hands tighten on the steering wheel. He just hopes these cursed marks on his face aren't _permanent._

_They disappeared before, right? I just need to find out how._

"You can sit in the front," Noi's voice distracts him from his thoughts an it takes him a second to process what his Partner just said.

"I don't-" Kaiman starts before Noi just waves a hand and opens the car door to sit in the back. "Hi, Senpai! It's cozy back here!" She greets him once inside.

Shin looks at Kaiman, awkwardly taking her place on the front seat, looking straight up ahead. He sighs deeply and leans back, without a word.

Shin starts the car, wondering what the Hell is Noi thinking and making a note of asking her later.

They drive until they get back to the populated area and stop at the first decent looking Motel. He enters the foyer with Noi and almost doesn't realize Kaiman remained outside, hands in his pockets, leaning against the wall.

"Hey, what was that about?" He asks after ringing a bell to summon a desk employee.

She gives him an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of her neck. "Sorry, Senpai. Funny story, I suddenly realize I didn't want to show my back to him."

Shin feels a cold shiver. He can understand it _too well_ and he's almost ashamed. "Oh."

"...which is pretty stupid, I mean, _it's just Kaiman,_ isn't he?"

Shin glances outside. He sees a figure, maybe a beggar, clumsily approach Kaiman and start to talk to him. "I...think so." He hates how insecure he sounds.

A young man who looks like he's just woken up appears from behind a door and signs them in at the Motel.

They pay in cash instead of billing it to En's, it's better to lay low for a while. Having Shou or any of the others find them now would be bothersome to say the least.

There is a loud _thud_ from outside, and when they turn around they can't see Kaiman against the wall anymore.

Exchanging a glance and keys in hand, they rush outside, half expecting to find him on the ground, but he's just standing at the entrance of an alley.

"Everything alright?" Shin asks him tentatively.

He turns around, his expression hidden by the mask but something about him makes Shin get on _alert._ He doesn't like this. Something feels _off._

"...yes. I just dealt with someone who was bothering me…" his voice is low and monotone.

That's when he realizes there's fresh blood on the ground and on his knife, and the beggar's corpse is lying down in the alley.

 _Did he…?_ Shin tries not to look to bothered by this.

Kaiman walks towards them as Noi steps back turns around and walks towards the rooms. If she noticed, she doesn't show.

He stops. "What's wrong?"

Shin feels like it's a little hypocritical of him to tell him off, but a job is a job and this was just a harmless beggar. "I should ask you," he says, unable to take his eyes off the alley. "Why did you…?"

"Oh," Kaiman looks back. "I don't know, he annoyed me."

"I'll make sure not to be the next one who annoys you, then."

Kaiman seems to tense then deflate. "That's not… _shit._ I didn't-"

Against his instincts, Shin steps forward and puts his hands on his, guiding them to put back the knife in its holster. "Let's go somewhere more private, alright?"

"Are you guys alright?" Noi calls from the rooms part of the building.

"We're fine!" Shin answers her, gently pulling Kaiman towards the rooms.

"See you guys tomorrow morning, then!" She grins, opening the door to the first of the two rooms they have the keys of. "Don't be too loud, I wanna sleep."

Shin freezes to the spot, mortified and bright red. "...Noi!" He almost expects a reply or a joke from Kaiman, but the man is uncharacteristically quiet.

Once Noi disappears behind the door, Shin opens the next one.

"Are there two separate beds in yours too?!" Noi's laughter comes through the thin wall. "Don't worry, I know you'll make it work!"

"Didn't you say you wanted to sleep?!" Shin retorts, slamming his fist on the wall repeatedly.

Kaiman has walked in during this exchange without a word, headed towards the wall mirror at the entrance of the bathroom. He stands still for a few seconds until the room door automatically closes, then starts taking off his mask, deliberately slowly.

Shin takes off his own mask and sits on one of the beds, looking at Kaiman, waiting to see what he's going to do.

Once the clasps are unlocked, he holds the metal mask with both hands and stays still. This is when Shin decides to intervene, with a sigh.

"Here," he helps him lower the mask down. He doesn't like seeing those marks again. When the mask is off he puts a hand behind his neck and pulls him down to kiss him.

He offers no resistance, kissing him back after a couple of seconds. There's a bitter taste on his lips, like oil or… "You smell like rain," he mumbles before pulling away. "Sorry."

Kaiman looks at him in surprise before starting to laugh and, to Shin's surprise, when he's laughing he looks like _himself_ again, despite the cross marks. "Geez, I wonder why!" He playfully shoves Shin's head away, hesitating for a moment as he catches sight of his own reflection. "Ugh, that's unsettling," he passes a thumb over his eyes like he wants to rub the marks off. Shin never really noticed it before and he's still intrigued by the fact the crosses don't look neat like tattoos, they're more like scars or birthmarks.

He notes this aloud before he can stop himself.

"Well, yeah…" Kaiman blinks, glances at the mirror and back at Shin. "They got tattoos to imitate me, these are original."

"I see," Shin says quickly, flustered.

Kaiman grins, shaking his head. Shin pulls him towards the beds and kisses him again, briefly, before pulling back and sitting on the other mattress. "Are you feeling better?"

He rolls his eyes and lets himself fall backwards on the bed. "Ah, let's see...my brain still feels like someone has lodged a goddamn knife in, my magic has changed into this... _thing,"_ he makes a disgusted face and a wild gesture with his hands. "What is it even good for? It makes people feel sick?!" He groans. "Oh _did I mention_ I look like the asshole who ruined my life and tried to _fucking murder everybody_ in this world?"

Shin sighs. He can't really argue with that. "I'm sorry," he blurts out.

Kaiman sits up, giving him a weird look.

"If I'd known it would end up like this, I would've never asked you to join us."

"Don't," Kaiman waves a hand and suddenly stands up and goes towards Shin's bed to throw his arms around him. "If it's anyone's fault, it's En's, for forcing me to do this stupid test..."

Shin frowns, guilt surging out of his heart. Somehow, the hug doesn't feel as comforting as it should be. _He was never a good liar._ "It's not...completely his fault."

Kaiman pulls back, his expression colder than before. "...what?"

 _"I_ asked En to let you come with us," Shin confesses.

Incredulity and shock chase each other on Kaiman's face, his grip tightening on Shin's shoulder. "Wait...wait, wait wait... _why?!"_

Shin hesitates, hating for the first time how _small_ he feels next to him _._ "I thought it was going to be just another job, and...I wanted you to be part of it. Part of my life."

Kaiman's expression quickly twist in a _rage_ Shin isn't sure he's ever seen on his face and he wonders if this what the beggar last saw before being killed. Shin's hand rushes to his hammer without really a thought but when Kaiman notices, he grabs his wrist and slams it against the wall.

"Did _you_ tell him about me?" He hisses between clenched teeth.

Shin tries to breathe, to stay calm, but he feels like a critter in a trap. "Fujita did," he explains. "But I was the one who asked him to let you join the mission! To test you!" His wrist hurts, he's pretty sure it's broken. "He would've had you trapped in Hole like those other two bastards!" With each word he's raising his voice.

Kaiman slams him against the wall. "And you didn't think about _telling_ about me this?! I thought I had no choice but to come here!"

Shin raises his voice, knowing Noi is going to hear them. "I didn't want you to choose to stay _there!"_ He shouts before a long moment of silence.

Kaiman explodes out a bitter, angry laugh as he lets Shin go. There is something _scarily_ familiar in his grin. "You wanted me to be part of your life," he hisses, "but you never really tried to be part of mine!" He laughs. "Aha- I can't _fucking_ believe this, you- you're just a fucking _selfish asshole!_ Like every last one of them!"

There's a heavy banging on the door before it slams open, Noi making her entrance in the room. "What is going on?!"

Kaiman glares at her. "Just stay here where you belong," he tells Shin. "You _fit in_ perfectly. I'm going home."

"Wait, hold on, we can talk about-" Noi steps forward but stops when she sees the dense, murky Smoke seeping out of Kaiman's hands.

Shin didn't realize how _wrong_ it looked until he saw it, curling around Noi's feet like a living thing. She stumbles and falls unconscious in less than a second. Shin thinks he can see the shadow of a doubt cross Kaiman's face when she stops moving, but it's gone in a moment and the Smoke is now twisting around him.

"No," Kaiman says quietly, clenching his fist and reopening his hand towards the opposite corner of the room. This time the Smoke starts to congeal into a shape and suddenly, with the loud bang of air being moved out of place, a Door materializes.

Something inside Shin stirs, despite the situation he's almost excited, almost _proud. Ai's Door,_ it's a simple metallic door with a small barred window. A prison door. Carved in the metal, the shape of a snake biting its own tail, coiled on itself to form the number 8.

Kaiman throws him one last angry glance, like he waits for Shin to say something, before opening the Door on a familiar skyline.

"Kaiman…!" Shin jumps on his feet and tries to run after him, but the Door slams close in his face and starts to melt back into Smoke.

Noi is still unconscious.

-

 **Nikaido** had a rough day.

She can't believe she used to handle that many customers by herself, once. Working with a team was much more efficient, and much less lonely.

She wonders what happened. She didn't expect Kaiman to be back soon, but Dokuga and Tetsujo didn't show up and they didn't even warn her first. They would've warned her, she thinks.

The door chimes and Nikaido looks up at the two figures who just walked in.

"I'm sorry, kitchen is closed," she tells them wary. She hopes it's not more fanatics, but she stops when she realizes the two are vaguely familiar.

They're hard to recognize without their masks and with the oversized ragged clothes they are sporting, but she recognizes the youngest members of En's inner circle.

Fujita is glaring at her. He never liked her much, Nikaido knows, probably because she contributed to murdering his Partner. They _were_ in Hole to practice on humans, but she feels a little guilty about that. The young girl, Ebisu, is hiding behind Fujita and… _hissing?_ Considering she kicked her in the head the first time they met, it's a reasonable reaction.

"Take a seat," she sighs, walking past them to lock the door.

Begrudgingly, Fujita sits at the counter. "Ebisu, stay still!" He shouts at the girl who's currently trying to climb over the counter into the kitchen.

"If you've come to see Tetsujo, he's not here," Nikaido starts preparing three gyoza filling burgers. "He didn't show up to work today."

He gives her a weird look. "Why would I want to see him?"

"Isn't he your friend? He keeps saying you're the one who saved his life," Nikaido looks up to gauge his reaction and isn't disappointed when he sees him absolutely _flustered._

"I didn't- that's not- we're not _friends!"_ He screams. “Why would I be friends with a damn Cross-Eye?!”

“Because you’re both _losers,”_ Ebisu says in a singalong tone.

“Shut up! Aren’t you also friends with one of them?!”

She straightens up. Probably because of her mask, but Nikaido never really realized how _young_ the girl is. She wonders how she ended up in En’s family.

“Kaiko isn't my friend!” She pouts, hands on her hips. “He’s my manservant!”

Nikaido stifles a laugh. “Kaiko...moth...you mean Dokuga?”

“Kaiko!” Ebisu insists. 

“Alright then,” Nikaido gives up. The little girl was never really right in the head to begin with. She starts frying the patties. “So, why are you here, then?”

Fujita crosses his arms over the counter, grumpy. “Shin and Noi want that lizard...ah, well, he’s not a lizard anymore, but you know who I’m talking about…”

Nikaido nods.

“...to join the Family.”

She feels a cold shiver down her spine. Her intuition was right, but she’s not happy about it. “Kaiman’s never going to agree to that.”

There’s a flash of hope in Fujita’s eyes, that last for only a second before he gets gloomy again. “I don’t know, Miss Noi seemed pretty convinced he was going to be Mr Shin’s Partner the next Blue Night.”

“Shocking!” Ebisu shouts. _Is she mimicking Johnson?_

“He’s never going to agree to that,” she repeats, less convinced than before. “He already refused that offer once.”

She prepares three _Donburi_ bowls and hands two of them to the two over the counter. “Here, on the house.”

“I won’t eat human food,” Ebisu crosses her arms and closes her eyes.

“Well, technically, I’m a Sorcerer, so this is Sorcerer food,” Nikaido smirks.

Ebisu opens one eye and slowly takes a small bite out of the burger with her hands, eyes on Nikaido the whole time.

Fujita seems to have started eating more out of frustration than hunger.

Smiling, Nikaido starts eating as well when she notices the shadows moving outside the shop.

 _“Down!”_ She shouts a moment before a brick crashes through the glass window. Shards shatter under the feet of half a dozen armed men marching into the restaurant

“Ebisu!” Fujita calls. “Transform, quickly- Ebisu?”

The kid is wobbling on her feet and soon she falls face first onto the floor. Nikaido’s starting to feel sick too, before realizing that sewn into the fronts of these men’s uniform are small effigies of Holey. Fear strikes her heart as she starts to suspect why Dokuga and Tetsujo didn’t come to work today.

This time, Kaiman isn’t around to fight them off. Both her and Fujita are quickly losing consciousness.

“Take them alive, they might know where others are hiding,” she hears someone order just before she’s dragged away.

-

Vaux is turning off the lights in the foyer, the part time nurse at the counter already left. He wishes he could have hired someone cuter, but most of the money Shin brought was spent to renew and repair the hospital, being converted back to help all kinds of patients now, not just the small number of magic victims remaining.

Just when he’s about to head home he hears a loud noise and some rustling coming from one of the storage rooms. Grabbing a flashlight and the axe he used to keep around for Night of the Living Dead, he ventures towards the source of the noise.

“Who goes there?” He kicks the door open, shining the light on the intruder.

Standing in front of a filing cabinet, all drawers open, files open and scattered around the floor, stands a tall figure Vaux takes a moment to recognize as Kaiman.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?!” The doctor shouts. “Look at this mess!”

“...my file.” He can barely hear his voice.

“Kasukabe keeps it in his office, since you’re his little pet project or something…” he rolls his eyes before Kaiman starts coughing and Vaux realizes something is definitely _off._

A black fluid seeps through Kaiman’s fingers as he doubles over like he’s been punched in the stomach. Vaux watches helplessly as the fits seem to tear him apart. Torturously slowly, the coughs ease in intensity and Vaux walks up to him, gently moving his hand in circles over his back. “You need to lie down.”

“No,” he pushes him away and staggers towards the exit. “Where is the Professor right now?”

Vaux follows him, determined not to let him out of his sight, shooting one last worried look at the pool of black mud that formed on the floor of the storage room. “Beats me. His wife dragged him away this morning on an impromptu holiday!”

“Haru…” Kaiman growls. “Fucking again…” He stumbles through the corridor, leaning on the wall when he can’t move forward.

“You’re not well, we have plenty of beds…” Vaux starts, trying to help him stay upright. Kaiman’s eyes are squeezed shut and he’s breathing heavily, in evident pain. For the first time, Vaux notices the red crosses around his eyes. He hasn’t seen them since Kaiman still had a lizard head, he wonders what the hell is going on with those.

“I need to see my files… and a CT scan…” he groans, pushing forward, one hand grasping the side of his head like he wants to rip his hair off. _“Please.”_

“I’ll fire it up,” Vaux sighs, giving in to his requests might get him to at least sit for the time being. He leaves him in the waiting room next to the tomography scanner. Worry makes him toss away any precaution as the breaks into Kasukabe’s private office, looking for Kaiman’s - for _Ai Coleman’s_ \- file. There are some printed scans of his brain, showing clearly the devil-shaped tumor cut in half.

For the first time in his career, Vaux wishes he’d paid _a little_ attention to Kasukabe’s rants on Sorcerer biology. Kaiman’s still but clearly awake as Vaux comes back and hands him the file before starting to turn on the machinery.

“March 23rd, 1am minute 12, starting coronal reconstruction of a CT scan of the patient’s brain,” he mumbles in a recorder instead of writing it down.

-

It takes a while for the computer to finally print out all the images they need: black and white slices of grey matter for display. But it’s not until Vaux compares them to the old ones that his blood runs cold.

The two halves of the Devil Tumor are much closer in the most recent scan and seem to be connected by what looks like thin black threads.

“Fuck this, _fuck this…”_ Kaiman groans, seeing the images himself. Vaux wonders how he managed to stay awake even after he gave him a sound dose of painkillers. “Why is it doing this, _why now?”_

“Hey, you should really rest now,” Vaux tries to convince him again. “I’ll try to contact Kasukabe again, but sleep, _please.”_

“...yeah,” he gives up, letting himself fall on the hospital bed of the room they are in.

He’s asleep in a matter of seconds.

Vaux takes a deep breath, heading to the window to light himself a cigarette when he hears a rustling noise and turns around. He almost _screams_ when he sees Haru’s hulking figure bent over Kaiman’s bed, clawed hands extended towards him. “Wha- wha- what are you doing?!” He’s shaking.

Her hands are surprisingly delicate as they lift Kaiman’s metal mask from the hanger at his belt and put it back on his face. **“Make sure he keeps it on, or it won’t heal properly.”**

Vaux is _terrified_ but somehow he still finds the strength to argue. “Are you doing this to him?”

**“In part, he’s messed with stuff he should’ve have touched, though. It’s mucking everything up.”**

“Why?!”

She looks up at him, a skeletal face, uncanny and terrifying and yet there’s a spark of emotion behind her shining blood red eyes.

**“I’m making up for a mistake I made a long time ago.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read my other Dorohedoro fanfics, you might already have an inkling what Haru's "mistake" was.


	9. Rage/Regret

_What does it mean to ‘think like a Devil’?_

It doesn't mean, _apparently,_ that he can skip on his regular training, Risu thinks bitterly as he carries the giant bat through the woods towards the clearing where he’ll be able to wash it before carrying it back to the nest. He’s getting better at moving around in the suit of armor, at least.

Claw is painting in the garden when he arrives, enveloped in shadows despite sitting in broad daylight. Contrary to the initial impression, she’s surprisingly mild mannered for a Devil, if eccentric like most of them. In the past few days all she’s done is paint and observe Risu's training.

As soon as he’s done washing the bat, he attempts to take a look at the canvas, before a clawed hand slices down, nails screeching on the metal armor.

“Hey! What the hell!” He shouts.

 **“Never peek at an artist’s WIP,”** she says, **“it’s** **_rude.”_ **

Risu grumbles something about whips and paintings under his breath, going back to the freshly cleaned bat at the edge of the clearing.

 **“Take that little one to the nest, then come back, we’re going shopping.”** Her voice is loud and clear even though she hasn't moved an inch and Risu is at the opposite side of the clearing.

Risu’s taken aback but he doesn’t dare to argue with the Devil, she's even more unpredictable than Asu and _infinitely_ more powerful. _Bear with it, bear with it._ He repeats to himself like a mantra as he hoists the bat on his shoulders and takes the forest path again.

When he’s back, Claw is putting away the painting supplies. The canvas she'd been working on depicts what Risu assumes is an abstract painting of some kind of zombie creature.

 **“Let’s go,”** the Devil says before taking off in the air. She stops before reaching the treetops when they realize Risu has been standing still, looking at her, unable to understand what to do. **“Wait, hold on,”** they fly back to look down on Risu. **“You have Curse magic, don't you?”**

“...yes?” Risu looks around, awkwardly.

 **“Can’t you** **_get whooshy_ ** **and fly? Follow me!”** she gestures wildly.

Risu makes a face. _Get whooshy,_ he wants to repeat, unimpressed by her choice of words. “Right now, no, I haven’t been able to since I killed the one I cursed.”

 **“Oh my sweet Satan in Hell,”** Claw puts her hands at the sides of Risu’s face. **“You** **_are_ ** **baby!”**

Risu has to fight with every inch of his will not to tell her off and step back. _Who are they calling a baby?!_

 **“Right. Flash lesson, Curse Magic 101.”** Claw lands, giddy like a schoolgirl. **“Tell me about your Curse. How does it manifest? What does it look like?”**

They head back inside the house, as usual it feels bigger on the inside than it does from the outside. Despite the number of creepy paintings, Risu is still surprised by how _domestic_ it looks, with its wooden floors and fancy furniture. Risu follows her to the living room in front of the fireplace, _finally_ glad this seems to be getting _somewhere._ “Well, it’s…” he gestures, “wispy, like you, but with a lizard skull mask. It looked like me at first, while I was dead, then I got resurrected and it got back to me and it _changed…”_ he shivers involuntarily when he recalls those moments.

Claw nods eagerly. **“Now, that’s the first step. You’re not a total noob, then. That’s called** **_integration._ ** **Well,** **_I_ ** **call it integration. Like, 99% of the cursers die for good and their magic dispels once it does its job. That gives me rights on deciding what to name stuff!”** She flies excitedly around the room in circles. **“Man, I’m really rooting for you now, even though I voted against you passing the exam last time.”**

Risu can’t even find the energy to follow her rants, let alone _argue._ “Why?!”

 **“You seemed like a stick in the mud. Anyway, integration. Painful as** **_shit,_ ** **isn't it?"**

Risu nods slowly.

**"...but once it’s done you basically should be able to control your Curse at will.”**

With a deep sigh, he slumps on a sofa, that creaks under his armor’s weight. “Right. I got that part, except I _did"_ he stresses, "kill the one I cursed and my magic disappeared.”

 **“Nah, if that was the case you wouldn’t even be able to wear that armor.”** Claw mirrors him, sitting in a chair that Risu is pretty sure just appeared out of thin air.

But he’s not worried about the chair, he’s worried about her words. “I’m _really_ sure it's dead.” He gives her a _look_ and nod slowly.

 **“You** **_believed_ ** **so and your magic answered your thoughts.”**

Risu scoffs. “Right. It’s all _make believe_ then?”

 **“No, but Curse magic responds to emotions. It expresses them** **_raw,_ ** **with no filter, much like a Devil would. You want to kill someone? It does that for you. You care for someone? It protects them. You are sad? It cries for you. Ever noticed that?”**

Risu nods slowly, wishing he could take notes on this. But he’s not at school and there’s only one exam to pass here. “Asu hit me with a radish and Curse didn’t activate,” he mumbles as he recalls. “Not because he had no killing intent but because _I_ didn't want to harm him?”

**"Not having killing intent probably helped, but most likely yeah."**

Risu grins. That is one of the reasons he wanted to become a Devil, in the first place. To get access to magic that could protect, not only _kill._ But according to Claw, Curse is already that powerful, in a way.

 **“How did you feel after the integration?”** She asks again.

“Angry,” Risu replies without hesitation, clenching his fists. “Angry at the one who killed me, at the ones who betrayed me, at the world who shunned me away…” he’s already had this conversation, with Asu. He knows where it's going. “But when I realized there was more to Curse than anger I was able to control it.”

 **“Good, you’re surprisingly more competent than I’d judged you. So** **_what_ ** **is the problem here?”**

“The problem,” Risu rolls his eyes, tired of saying this for the third time, “is that when I killed that guy for good, Curse _evaporated_ away.”

 **“No, no,** **_you_ ** **made it disappear.”** She says matter-of-fact.

Risu is dumbfounded, annoyed and a little part of him is _scared_ at the implication of what that means.

**“Who is the one who killed you, anyway?”**

“...the leader of the Cross-Eyes. Well, _Hole,_ actually.”

 **“Oh! That thing!”** Claw’s tone immediately gets bitter and they make a gagging noise. **“Fucking sludge monster, I hate its guts. Well, I know for a fact** **_you_ ** **weren’t the one who destroyed it for good.”**

Risu shivers. _That’s right._ After he cut his last head off, it wasn't over. Aikawa said that _thing_ got them exactly where it wanted. He _knows_ Nikaido and Kaiman fought it while he was trapped with the En family, he’s vaguely aware that Shin and Kaiman were the ones to finally strike it down.

“But it died anyway!” Risu shouts, standing up. “It’s _gone!”_

 **“Nah, I wish,"** Claw sighs. **"It's just** **_really_ ** **weak right now. Give it or take another 6000 years, if things keep as they are, and it’s going to be powerful enough to come back. You can’t kill** **_hate,_ ** **after all.”**

Risu starts pacing nervously around the room. He doesn’t like this, _he doesn’t like this._ “Then what, is it impossible?! Am I...am I supposed to keep a grudge forever?!'

There is a long moment of silence. This is one of the moments Risu wishes Claw had a visible face to see their expression. **"The one who killed** **_me_ ** **was Chidaruma."** She finally says, sipping on a cup of tea Risu is _pretty sure_ didn't exist until a moment ago. They bring it to the place their lips are supposed to be and slurp loudly. **"Then he brought me back just to see what would happen. I tried to kill him countless times, lived with a grudge for most of my mortal life until I realized** **_well, this is pointless_ ** **and went for Devil training** **_._ ** **In any case, Chidaruma got nerfed and guess who got the last laugh?!"** They start laughing loudly, a terrible sound that threatens to rip Risu's eardrums apart.

 _This doesn't help at all._ Risu feels just like after the… _integration,_ he's scared beyond measure and yet at the same time, terribly _excited._ "Wha- what am I supposed to do, then?!"

Claw finally seems to calm down. **"Take control of your Curse again. How would you react if the one who killed you appeared in front of you** **_right now?"_ **

"I don't...know…" Risu lets himself fall back down on the sofa, frowning.

 **"Well, let's try that, then,"** she snaps their fingers and suddenly Risu falls on the floor. The sofa is gone, the _room_ with all the paintings is gone and he finds himself in complete darkness. As he brings himself back on his feet, color starts to bleed into reality like wet paint dripping on a canvas, forming a dreadfully familiar _alley_ and a shape standing at the end.

The Cross-Eyes Boss grins at him, a deranged inhuman smile, as he approaches slowly, knife in hand. Risu steps back, heart racing. "This isn't real."

 **"Duh,"** says Claw's disembodied voice, **"but if you keep that mindset you'll never make any progress. You have to** **_fool_ ** **yourself, manipulate your emotions…"**

Risu looks up. It's Aikawa's face and at the same time it's definitely _not._ The _thing_ wants his blood.

_He already got it once._

Salmanaza Plains, the scorching sun, a blade in the back. That grip on his neck to avoid him escape, that touch so _familiar_ and yet so alien.

_Room 501, a Devil's song._

_It doesn't matter_ who it was, _he is_ going to take _everything_ from him. _From it._ Take back what he stole.

Risu never thought he'd have to force this _rage_ out of him. It's a flame that almost went out, but not completely. _Never completely._ Pain surges suddenly once he kindles that flame and he _screams._ He can feel the Smoke taking a physical shape _from inside his body,_ changing it, warping it, _begging_ to be let outside, it seeps out of every pore and cloaks him in wispy darkness. He can feel _his power_ as he rises above ground, the weight of the armor now trivial.

The _thing's_ smile twists into an expression of terror as it starts to run away, but chains and stakes fly faster than it can and stab into its body, tearing the flesh apart until what's left is a puddle of crushed bones and blood in the alley.

Risu slumps like a puppet whose strings have been cut, Smoke evaporating in a second and leaving only _him_ on the floor, breathing heavily in shock.

The colors bleed away, the alley disappears and he's back again in the cottage, surrounded by paintings and next to a roaring fireplace. Cold sweat permeates his body, both because of the realization of _what he just did,_ and the shadow of pain that is just starting to fade away. Without really thinking about it, he removes his helmet and tosses it away.

Claw towers over him, slowly clapping her hands. **"Very good. See? I told you you could do that."** She chuckles.

Risu's too shocked and exhausted to reply.

**"Again."**

Reality melts away.

-

 **Kaiman** is awake before opening his eyes. He becomes aware of his own fast heartbeat before anything else, almost as he just woke up from a nightmare he cannot quite remember. Which, he soon realizes, is likely what happened.

The air smells of disinfectants and cigarette smoke, it's familiar in a way he cannot quite place until the last chain of events comes back to him.

He grips the bed sheets tightly, overcome by burning rage at what Shin did to him. How he lied, _manipulated_ him and ended up getting him into this _mess_.

"Hey, you awake?!" Vaux's voice sounds distant, muffled.

Kaiman lifts his arm to rub his eyes but something is in the way. He feels cold metal under his fingers and it takes him several moments to realize it's because he's wearing his mask. "...why…?" It's simply _placed_ on his face, without the straps being secured, so it's easy to take it off and set it aside.

Bright light floods his field of vision, making him tear up for a second before his eyes get adjusted to it.

"...yeah, two large pepperoni, only one beer," Vaux is saying on the phone.

Kaiman glares at him, lifting two fingers, but Vaux puts down the phone before changing the order. "You're convalescent, I'm not giving you alcohol."

"Yeah, well, fuck you too," Kaiman croaks, sitting upright.

"How's your head?"

Kaiman's hand tentatively goes to touch his left eyelid. The pain is still there, although it feels more like an old bruise than a stab wound now. "Better than yesterday," he shrugs.

Vaux scoffs with a thin smile. _"Yesterday,"_ he repeats.

"What?"

"You've been out like a light for almost three days, Kaiman."

He gapes, still for a few seconds before dropping his face in his hands and drawing out a long groan. "Fuck, I told Nikaido I'd be back in a couple of days top." The thought makes his train of thought screech to a halt. "Does Nikaido know I'm here?"

Vaux frowns and looks away, a simple gesture that is enough for worry to set in. "I tried to call her a few times but no one would pick up. 13 went to check in person but he found…" he hesitates.

"What happened?!" Kaiman is immediately on his feet, despite the wave of nausea that hits him as he does so.

"The Hungry Bug has been _wrecked,_ her apartment robbed. Neither her or the two boys working for her have been seen in a few days."

 _I shouldn't have left._ "Fuck, _fuck!"_ He heads towards the door, frantically.

"Kaiman! What do you think you're doing?!" Vaux slams the door closed before he can leave.

"It's my fault, I left just when they needed me… _it's his fault."_ He realizes with growing rage. Just one more thing this stupid _game_ _of his_ was responsible for. "I should've been here, I should've protected them."

"They're not your responsibility, they can handle themselves I'm sure."

Part of him knows Vaux is saying this with the best intentions but his words upset him even more.

 _"I_ asked them to investigate!" He raises his voice. "I sent them right into the arms of their enemies and _of course they did,_ how could they refuse…" he looks at his hazy reflection in the door window. _Yup,_ the Cross-Eye marks are still there. _"....me?"_

They always did everything he asked for, no matter how immoral, dangerous or insane. That night, in front of the Hungry Bug, he wasn't just asking them a favor, _he was giving them an order._ Like many other times he _wishes_ he wouldn't remember but he does. And they followed it, tossed themselves into the fray like lambs to the slaughter.

Kaiman's fists are clenched, pressed against the door. _And because of that, Nikaido is gone too._ They attacked her restaurant, her _home. His_ place. The fights with Asu in the kitchen, Risu's missed birthdays, the bright neon sign that four of them together weren't able to fix properly.

Kaiman shoves Vaux away and slams the door open, heading outside.

"This imbecile...wait!" Vaux attempts to run after him.

What takes Kaiman by surprise is that he's carrying his mask and shoves it back in his hands when he catches him up. "Keep this on."

Face twisting in confusion and annoyance, he looks at the doctor. Why would _he_ tell him to wear a mask? This is Hole, he doesn't need to cover his face. He might've considered if Risu or Dokuga were still around but he can't comprehend a reason why _Vaux_ of all people would tell him something like that.

"Look, there's no easy way to say this, but you were onto something when you said she was involved again," he nervously lights himself a cigarette "Kasukabe's Devil wife… she was here the night you collapsed."

_I knew it._

Vaux continues, oblivious that Kaiman is holding his breath. "She said...look, I don't really understand Sorcerer biology bullshit and you're a special case anyway, but she said you have to keep the mask on to _heal properly,_ whatever that means."

The realization falls down on him like a cold shower. He should've known. _I should've known._ Devils don't give out gifts, they only twist reality in the way it suits them and Haru has been _playing_ with him for a _very_ long time.

_The house was in a perfect spot, away from all main roads, hard to see through the trees. It was a perfect place to set up a base of operation. They had thought to kill the owners and take the house over, but they hadn't realized the owner was of all things a Devil._

_And yet, she was not angry. When she had seen him she had said she was going to leave the house it they bought her CDs or something._

_Years later, in apartment 501, Curse had found him again. He would've been able to_ end _him, finish what he started, if it hadn't been for that_ song.

_A Devil's song to cast a Curse away._

It never bothered him at the time, but it was _too_ convenient. Everything about Haru and him seems too convenient. The only thing he can't comprehend is _why._ "Why would she do that?"

"Dunno," Vaux shrugs, reminding Kaiman he's still standing there. "She said she's making amends for a mistake she made..."

"A mistake…?" Hurt spreads like a spider web. How _dare him_ think he had some agency over his own life, that he could live peacefully without being someone else's puppet. He wants to _scream_ and he's shocked himself when instead he starts _laughing._ A dry laugh that hurts his throat and lungs. "Enough," he grits his teeth, grabbing the mask. _"Enough,"_ he holds it in his hands and tries to bend it, break it, snap it in half, but the metal doesn't budge, the fabric doesn't rip. With a scream of frustration, he slams it on the floor and storms out of the hospital, ignoring Vaux's alarmed calls.

His feet bring him through familiar grey streets, he's barely aware of where they're taking him until he finds himself in front of the Hungry Bug. The glass has been broken, the door is on the floor and inside it's _worse._ They emptied the pantry, food has been scattered on the floor and stepped on, but amidst the chaos Kaiman sees three donburi bowls next to the counter. _Nikaido's after work comfort food._

He sits at the counter, dropping his head in his hands. _What can I do? What should I do? I should've been here. I should've._

The silence is deafening. _There's no one here, there's nothing here._

 _Just like when he_ woke up. A ghost under the rain, dressed in rags, ignored and alone.

He leaves the restaurant and heads home. He climbs the fire escape up to the rooftop and looks at the "treehouse" built on antennas and scaffolding. It's silent and dark.

He gets rid of his bloody clothes and takes a shower. The flow of water isn't as constant and as warm as the fancy one in Shin's room, but he doesn't want to think about that. Thinking about Shin, even indirectly, makes his blood boil.

The house is cold and lonely. No different from the hospital. Upon realizing he's definitely _starving_ he empties the fridge of anything immediately edible before heading back out. He's back wandering the streets aimlessly, doesn't even know where his feet are taking him until he sees the bright white tents of the newly built Church.

_Where this all began._

The anger that's been bubbling under his skin gets more intense at the same time his headache does, when he steps through the entrance and slowly approaches the 13 feet tall statue at its very center. Monks and devouts are collected in a scattered circle around it, some praying, some mourning.

 _You idiots,_ it _would have killed or used you too to get what it wanted. Why do you praise it? Why do you spread that hate and love something that doesn't want anything but kill, kill, kill,_

**_Kill them all._ **

He shudders. The thought came from him, annoyance taken to the point of rage suddenly evaporates into fear. "No!" He shouts, holding his head and getting more than a few weird looks. "No! You're gone! Get out of my head!" He grabs a steel pipe lying on the floor with other pieces of garbage and uses it to hit the base of the statue.

Bits of bone, wood and fabric starts flying around as the crowd disperses, frightened.

Under his repeated hits, the statue leans forward and finally collapses on the ground, raising a thick cloud of dust. Kaiman keeps smashing it into pieces, hitting them until they're crushed into dust. He continues after everyone leaves, the monks escorting the devouts outside, until a hand, gentle but firm, lands on his arm to stop him.

"That's quite enough, don't you think?"

Kaiman freezes, looking down to look at a familiar smiling face.

"Professor…"

Kasukabe's smile gets wider and he lets him go. The pipe falls down and clatters on the floor. "To be honest, I've also been thinking of bringing it down for a while. I was thinking explosives, though."

Kaiman snorts before he realizes the situation they're in. There's shouting outside and some armed guards at the entrance. "We should probably...run."

"Yup," Kasukabe bolts towards the exit, surprisingly fast as always.

There's things Kaiman wants to ask him, if he knows about Haru's _mistake,_ if he had a reason for giving him the mask. If he's involved in this mess somehow, but for now he's just happy to see a friendly face.

And he follows.

-

 **Shin** 's life is spiraling. In the past couple of days, he's not even sure he's slept at all, throwing himself wholeheartedly into his work: they look for those who escaped the quarry before they blew it up. The green haired woman they took as a hostage won't open her mouth so they drop her at the Mansion, hoping Chota will be able to get some information out of her.

When he learns the enemy group managed to get their hands on an Extractor, the same machine he was a slave of during his childhood, En goes absolutely insane. He orders them to find those who ran away and annihilate the group entirely.

Noi tries to act like nothing happened, they eat junk food, bash in some heads. She laughs and throws contests about who's going to kill more people during the mission.

He goes through the motions but he feels no joy from it.

If he has to be honest with himself, he never really liked his job. Fighting gives him the adrenaline kick he needs to go on with his day to day life and it's what he's good at, but at the end of the day he doesn't like being an agent of death as much as Noi seems to.

He doesn't want to start drinking. En might not have very strict rules but he's been very clear on the topic of addiction, probably from having to deal with a bunch of junkies for years. He also can't help but think about the drunk Militiamen who tortured and killed his father.

Despite all this, he finds himself being a regular at the bar shrouded in darkness. He doesn't share his story, he wouldn't know what to say, but on the third day he hears a familiar voice.

"...to be honest, I've been having second thoughts lately. Which is," the man in the darkness laughs awkwardly, _"insane,_ like, _who_ would throw away this kind of opportunity? But for the last year or so I've been living with my sister and _I like it,_ more than I did being a Devil…"

"Asu?" Shin's head snaps up, recognizing at once both the story and the voice.

There's a long silence and then he speaks again. "...who?"

"It's...Shin, from the En family? I'm Kaiman's…" he stops, not knowing how to continue.

"Ah, yeah, alright," Asu sips on his drink loudly. "You're not supposed to do names in this place."

"I know, I know…" Shin sighs.

"So, what's the issue, troubled youth? Are you here to vent or to investigate?"

"Neither, I- you haven't...heard from Kaiman recently have you?"

"No, why?"

He avoids telling him everything, but he tells them they had an argument and _why._

"A selfish asshole like every last one of them," Asu repeats Shin's words, with a note of amusement. "Mh, he spends so much time with us sometimes I forget that guy viscerally hates Sorcerers."

"...even if he's one of us."

"He might be now, but-"

"When I knew him as a kid, he wanted nothing more than being a Sorcerer. He was _obsessed_ with it-"

"Yes, I know the story." Asu interrupts him back. "But that was...what? 11 years ago? Even if all that shit hadn't happened to him, people still _change,_ I'm surprised you find it so hard to understand."

"He hasn't changed, deep down," he's surprised he finds himself smiling. "I _know_ Ai, better than-"

"He hates being called by that name," Asu's words hit him like a cold shower. They haven't known each other for that long and yet he _knew_ that little bit of information that Shin only discovered recently and hasn't really come to terms with.

 _I don't know him as well as I think I do._ He realizes, and somehow he's not surprised. Since that night at the theatre, he hasn't really made an effort to _get to know_ him. He's been so overjoyed about him being in his life again that he hasn't spared a thought about the fact that more than a decade has passed.

Shin's life in that decade has drastically changed, but he himself feels like suspended in a limbo. Ai on the other hand lived - and died - many times, in different ways, as different people that right now he's probably still trying to figure out how they _fit_ into each other.

-

_"Do you remember the first time we met again?" He asked him offhandedly one morning._

_Shin was not oblivious to the fact Ai had been looking at his mask. "In the weird room inside that monster?"_

_He laughed bitterly. "No, no, way before then…"_

_"Night of the Living Dead," Shin realized, frowning. He didn't like to think about it, about the fact that the person who had stabbed him in the chest and was later decapitated by him was_ Ai. What would have happened if I'd known?

_But instead of following on that though, Ai smiled to him again, a thin lipped almost disappointed smile. "No, that's not…" he paused. "Nevermind, forget about it."_

-

Kaiman had tried to talk to him many times, but Shin gave up on figuring out what exactly was going through his mind time and time again, for the simple sake of living in the moment and not acknowledging the hard parts of their complex past.

"I guess I overestimated how well I know him…" he admits finally. "I _really_ fucked up…"

"Look," Asu finishes his drink and sets it down on the table, "Kaiman's not the kind of guy to keep a grudge, I think, _especially_ not with you. Just...talk to him, but show him you're willing to change."

Shin hesitates. "Are you sure you used to be a Devil?"

Asu scoffs. "Watch your mouth," he snaps. "And if you tell anyone about what I said earlier I won't-"

"I'm not going to," Shin sighs, taking a deep breath before finding the courage to make a request. "If you're going back to Hole, do you mind us going together?"

-

"The good news is that your Devil Tumor is almost completely healed now." Kasukabe starts, entering the hospital room where **Kaiman** has been eating the pizza Vaux had ordered. The other doctor merely glances at Kasukabe and goes back to reading his newspaper.

"You see, that's _exactly_ why I don't like you," Kaiman groans, between mouthfuls of food. "if you say it like that, you make it sound like there's bad news."

Kasukabe gives him a shit-eating smile. "Your brachial fumigant system is working perfectly in both arms, the smoke veins in your jugulum system, curiously enough, look _atrophic.”_

Kaiman almost chokes on his food.

“I say don’t worry too much about it, as long as you’ve got an output there’s no risk of buildup. The bad news," he turns a page, "are that your subfitial glands seem to be producing the same kind of smoke particles contained in the chemical you apparently managed to assimilate into your body." He closes his file and looks up.

Vaux points at him, looking at Kaiman. "And _that_ is exactly why I don't examine you anymore. That's Greek to me. Like, what the actual fuck are those words. _What the actual fuck are those organs."_

Kasukabe gives him an amused grin, then turns to Kaiman again. "I'm curious. What prompted you to do such a thing?" He ignores his colleague.

"Hey! You said the tests were _fine!"_ Kaiman snaps at him.

Kasukabe almost looks offended. "In case you were hit by one of the darts or exposed to a small quantity of it! It's an unpredictable mutagen, plus your body has an affinity with it. You should have known it would have side effects," he retorts. "It's _fascinating,"_ he grins after a short pause. "I'm really looking forward to see what happens!"

Kaiman gives him an unimpressed look. "Ah," he scoffs, "for a moment I thought you developed a morality and were going to say you were worried about me."

Vaux barks out a dry laugh, turning around on his office chair. "Like that would ever happen."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Kasukabe grins. "Anyway, the _best_ news is that I think I know a way to find our friends."

Kaiman's head snaps up. "You should've said that as the _first thing!"_ he exclaims.

Kasukabe chuckles and, putting down the file, takes out of his pocket a small electronic device. "Before disappearing, Dokuga came to me asking if Johnson could aid them in the mission. I haven't seen Johnson since, but a while ago I installed a device to monitor his vitals…"

"I can't believe you microchipped your cockroach…" Vaux rolls his eyes.

Kasukabe hands Kaiman the device: it's a modified walkie-talkie with a small screen like a radar's. "It doesn't have a wide range but you should be able to find him, and hopefully the others, with this."

Swallowing the last slice of pizza, Kaiman immediately bolts back on his feet, grabbing the jacket he's left on the back of the chair. He runs outside of the hospital office with the device in his hand and newfound determination, but stops when he hears the door open again behind him.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the mask," Kasukabe looks at him, hands in his lab coat pockets, and smiles bitterly. "I should've known Haru had something in mind when she made it."

Kaiman hesitates, but he _needs_ to know. "She mentioned making a _mistake_ that involves me, somehow. Do you know anything about that?"

In all the time he's known him, Kaiman doesn't think he's ever seen Kasukabe lose his cool.

_Except that time in the En manor when I almost killed him, I guess._

Right now, he doesn't just look surprised, he looks _conflicted._ Slowly, he looks away, smiles and takes a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. "I have an inkling, yeah," he admits, eyes low.

Kasukabe is lucky Kaiman's already vented his anger by destroying the statue, because otherwise he wouldn't have gotten away with just that.

"You'll tell me everything once I get back." Kaiman growls at him.

He shrugs. "You'd better find a way to ask Haru directly. She never told me outright, I just have a sound theory about it." He lights a cigarette. "Ask Shin. En's manor should have a room for summoning Devils."

That's the thing he wants to do least right now. Ask a person he's pissed at help to talk to another person who's positively infuriating. But he wants to get to the bottom of this. "I'll consider it," he mumbles before turning around and walking out.

Kasukabe doesn't do anything to follow him. “Kaiman,” he calls him when he’s almost around the corner. “Whatever her reasons are, I believe that, in her own way, she cares about you.”

Kaiman, having stopped to listen him out, walks away without a reply. He finds Kasukabe’s faith in his wife commendable, but doesn’t really believe he’s right.

Once outside, he turns on the device. No signal. It's going to be a long search, especially since he has no idea what the thing's range actually is. "Alright, let's do a sweep," he mumbles to himself, heading back to the central area. If he proceeds in a spiral from the center of the city, he can be reasonably sure he's scanned all possible places.

As he walks, he thinks back to Kasukabe's reaction. It still puzzles him, how a man who can withstand torture without batting an eye, who'd commit atrocities in the name of knowledge and who would absolutely disregard common sense in his experiments, would be conflicted about something. _What could a Devil possibly regret?_

Lost in his thoughts, he doesn't even realize he's walked past the Hungry Bug again and stops in front of a familiar dead end.

 _Today I keep visiting nostalgic places._ He notes to himself, before seeing a shadow moving at the end of the alley. "Wha…?"

The first stake passes next to him with a thin whistle, planting itself in the wall behind him, the chain tensing up between it and the figure at the end of the alley, blocking his way out.

Kaiman's heart starts racing as he cannot explain what he sees. A figure shrouded in darkness, a reptilian skull, two pairs of bloodshot eyes looking down at him, chains and bloody stakes floating around it. For a moment he thinks he's dreaming, having another nightmare, so he doesn't try to run away, but it doesn't do anything for the absolute _dread_ enveloping his senses.

More _stakes_ suddenly fly towards him. Kaiman manages to dodge the first two but the third plants itself solidly in his arm, nailing him to the wall. The device Kasukabe gave to him falls to the floor and slides away.

No _ma...tter_ his efforts, the stake doesn't budge. His fingers aren't responding either, nerves likely severed, dark blood, almost black, mixed with smoke and sludge, drips down to the floor. He doesn't even have a weapon with him. _This is impossible, this can't be real._

 **"Now, remember,"** the voice comes from right next to Kaiman, and he whips his head around to see a wispy shape similar to the one who attacked him, but with no mask and no visible features either, except the two horns protruding from their skull. _Devil._ That's for sure, but he hasn’t seen this one before. **"You control** **_it,_ ** **it doesn't control you. In this final test, show me you can** **_stop_ ** **right before the final blow."**

 _Curse_ approaches, floating a few inches above the ground, until he's close enough to lift Kaiman off the ground, one hand by the shirt collar and the one closing around his head.

 _That's right._ Kaiman realizes suddenly, not without a certain amount of inappropriate hilarity. _I still look-_

With his still good arm, Kaiman tries to use magic. _That should at least stop him._ But before he can focus on it, another couple of stakes go right through his shoulder and hand, blocking him to the wall. It's painful but he doesn't start screaming until Curse's hands painfully wrap around his skull and neck.

 **"Good enough, now let him go."** He hears the Devil say, but Curse's hold doesn't loosen, his fingers are digging into his skin, threatening to crush his head into bits. _No spares, this time._ **"Let him go."** He's starting to lose consciousness from the pain. He doesn't even know if he's still screaming or not. **"I said let him** **_go!_ ** **Fuck, Haru's going to** **_kill_ ** **me-"**

_...what?!_

"Risu?! What the- what the hell are you doing?!" Kaiman hears another familiar voice, before he's suddenly pulled away- no, _teleported_ away from Curse's grasp. _Asu?!_ Immediate relief makes Kaiman’s limbs go limp, but somehow he doesn't fall. "Claw! What's the meaning of this?!"

**"It's just our little training, but this kitten still has a long way to go…"**

"Asu…?" Risu's voice sounds panicked and confused. "Wait, wha- isn't this one of your illusions?"

Kaiman feels someone's arms wrapped around him, protectively, gently lowering him on the ground. He's so tired. Vaguely aware he's healing, but he still lost a lot of blood, he fights the drowsiness and tries to open his eyes.

The Devil starts laughing, a terrible screeching sound that seems to make his bones vibrate. **"I couldn't very well use an illusion for your** **_final_ ** **test, could I?"** They say, coy.

There's Risu, himself, not Curse anymore, in full training armor save the helmet, who looks absolutely _lost,_ standing between the tall shadowy figure and Asu who, despite his small stature, has a pretty intimidating expression on his face.

And the one holding Kaiman is…

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?" He manage to utter in annoyance when he sees Shin's face.

Shin frowns then purses his lips. "Not now."

Asu is shouting something at the Devil, fearless or maybe just overconfident, while they reply in short, amused sentences. Risu looks at them and looks utterly _confused_ until his eyes meet Kaiman's and he freezes again.

"Goddamnit," Kaiman grits his teeth and turns away. This is the worst possible scenario he could've ever imagined. "I don't have time for this…"

Shin's hands delicately but quickly move and pull the hood of Kaiman's jacket over his eyes, all without breaking eye contact with Risu. Kaiman knows it's useless but he's at least a little grateful for the attempt.

 _"...that's Kaiman?!"_ Risu's voice rises from a murmur to a shout. "Is this real?"

"Claw's paintings are shitty and look all the same, there, this is reality," Asu snaps.

 **"Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…"** Claw shakes her shoulders.

"What the hell?! Claw, did you do this?!" Risu screams in what sounds like utter panic.

 **"Oh, don't be so dramatic.** **Yes, I brought you to Hole. If you're talking about his new** ** _makeup,_** **no, he did it to himself. I thought it would be a** ** _thrilling and fun_** **way to end your curse magic training."**

Kaiman tenses and clenches his fists, realizing with that he can move his hands again. He really cannot stand Devils, that was possibly the worst way to put it.

"You've stopped bleeding," Shin tells him, quietly. "Do you think you can stand up?"

Kaiman nods, making an effort to sit up, but when Shin tries to help him, he pushes his hand away, glaring at him. Once back on his feet he staggers towards the trio

"Hey, you shouldn't-" Asu tries to dissuade him when he sees him, but Kaiman only looks at the Devil.

"You said," he croaks, _"Haru's going to kill me."_ He's aware of Risu's eyes on him but tries not to look at him. "What the _fuck_ is her deal with me?!"

 **"Is that what you're worried about?"** They retort in an amused tone. **"I'm not going to be the one to spill the beans, Freak."** The nickname makes Kaiman grin. _They_ have a lot of nerve, calling him that. **"She already killed one of our kind when they tried to harm that pretty one."** She points at Shin.

 _Haru killed another Devil to protect Shin?!_ Kaiman wants to insist and ask more about it, but isn't prepared for Risu to step forward and grab him from his collar to slam him against the wall, while simultaneously yanking down his hood. "Hey…!"

 _"What is this?!"_ Risu looks at him in abject horror and pulls on Kaiman's hair to make him look at him when he tries to look away. "What _the fuck_ is this?!"

Kaiman grits his teeth before snapping at him. "A _mistake, ok?!"_ He shouts, "I just made a stupid mistake!"

Risu freezes but keeps his hold until the head of a hammer gets lodged between the collar of his armor and his neck, pressing against his jugular.

"Let him go," Shin hisses, moving between the two of them as Risu's hold loosens, but his eyes are still filled with horror and anger.

"Calm down, both of you!" Asu tries to pull Risu away.

Risu looks like he is on the verge of a breakdown. "How… _what kind of mistake_ did you make to- _how are you still yourself?!"_ He lets him go. Kaiman steps back and pulls the hood over his head again. "You _are_ still yourself, aren't you?"

Kaiman gives him the finger.

"He is," Asu says with no hesitation. "I've seen this happen already."

_Oh, yeah, he did._

_When I got my memories back. When I stopped being a disembodied consciousness. When the spirit I had left within Hole merged back with this body. Which one of these was the truth again?_

Risu seems to have started to calm down. Shin let him go but he's still holding his hammer tightly, wary. "...what did you _do?!"_ He asks Kaiman.

 **"There's no point in staying here, let's go back,"** Claw announces, summoning a Door.

"Hold on!" Risu tries to argue, but Kaiman picks up Kasukabe's radar thingamabob from the ground and starts to walk away.

"I'm _not_ in the mood to explain and I've got something important to do. You all should _leave,"_ he says between clenched teeth.

None of them can help against the people who took Nikaido and the others, after all. None of them but the last person he wants to be around right now.

 **"Ah, whatever,"** the Devil sighs. **"Any of these assholes can open a Door for you when you're done, just don't take your armor off. This is also part of your training!"** Claw slips through the Door and disappears with it, leaving only the four of them in the narrow alley.

"Great, just _great,"_ Kaiman scoffs, looking at the device's screen and trying not to acknowledge that the skin and muscle of his arm are being knitted back together by oily black strands. _Gross._

"I'll take Risu to the Hungry Bug to get less cranky," Asu announces, turning towards Shin. "You say what you came here to say."

"Wait, I'm not done-" Risu tries to argue before vanishing.

Kaiman stops. He gives them mentally 15 seconds to be back. They take 5.

"What the hell happened?! Where's Nikaido?!" Asu immediately shouts as he reappears in the alley with Risu.

Kaiman gives him a bitter grin. "Oh, you noticed? Yeah, because _someone_ dragged me away with a bunch of _lies,_ I wasn't here when she got taken away by a bunch of _fanatics!"_

If Shin was about to say something before, he's speechless now. Color is quickly draining from his face. "I-"

"And they use those blasted effigies, so there's nothing you all can do to help!" And with that, he hopes the argument is settled. He's heading towards the main road, device in hand, when a hand on his shoulder stops him. _Shin._ "What do you want?" He asks, coldly. He sees Asu and Risu still arguing at the end of the alley, but can't really focus on what they're saying.

"I can." Shin looks hesitant at first. "Withstand it, I mean. It might be because I'm half human, but I can help you…"

"And why would you help them?" Kaiman sneers at him. "A couple of _bastards_ and a traitor to that precious Family of yours?'

"Because it's my fault," he replies with no hesitation. "It's my fault you weren't here."

Kaiman hesitates.

"And because they're important to you."

Kaiman doesn't want to give up, he doesn't want to _stop_ being angry at him. _It's his fault._ And yet, he feels the rage melting away against his will. _A selfish idiot._ But he's _his_ selfish idiot.

And most important, he realizes, he doesn't want to go alone.

"...alright," he slumps. "But any sarcastic remark at Dokuga and Tetsujo and you're _out_ of here."

Shin gives him a thin sarcastic smile. Risu walks tentatively towards them.

 _Alright, let's settle this too, while I'm at it._ "As for you, there's nothing you can-"

 _"That thing_ is not back, is it?" Risu asks him, wary, stopping a few feet away.

"No," Kaiman scoffs. "Just a portion of its power that _apparently_ fused up with my magic, because I had the _great idea_ to get rainwater mud inside my body again." He explains quickly. "So, there you have it."

Risu is unnaturally quiet for a long time. "...you can use magic?" he asks with _just a little_ hint of amusement.

The swelling _pride_ Kaiman feels is almost off-putting. "Yeah," he grins before he can stop himself. "Although it's just… _weird_ now." He rubs the back of his neck.

"I think it suits you more than what you might imagine," Shin smiles, hands in his pockets.

"Also, your _alleged_ 'gyoza magic' wasn't _weird?"_ Risu continues, making a quotation marks gesture.

"No! It was awesome!" Kaiman argues, completely serious. At this point, he doesn't think he'll ever see Gyoza Wand anymore, sadly.

Unexpectedly, Risu starts laughing. "Dokuga is going to _flip his shit."_ He says with a grin. "Not just about your magic, about your…" he makes a vague gesture at his face.

Kaiman gives him an incredulous look. "You're surprisingly ok with this…"

"Well," Risu makes a face. "What's the alternative? I _am_ trying to be less of a stick in the mud, after all."

Kaiman bursts out laughing despite the situation. Maybe he's a bit lightheaded because he lost a lot of blood, maybe because the tension was suddenly lifted, but he _needed_ this.

He didn't realize how much he needed not being _alone_ anymore. It's not just Shin and him, or Risu and him, or Nikaido and him against the world. They're all part of his life, they're all _his._

"Fuck, what is _wrong_ with me?" Kaiman finally manages to say when he's calmed down. "This is not the time…"

"Look, I'm going to stay for the time being," Risu goes serious again. "I _know_ I don't have this guy's advantage," he points at Shin, "but I'm still going to help. Nikaido's my friend-"

"And my sister!" Asu butts in. "We'll help however we can to find her."

"Besides," Risu grins, "I'm going to have _fun_ seeing Dokuga's reaction to your new _look."_

Kaiman gives him an unimpressed glare. "Yeah, you're _definitely_ becoming a Devil…'

-

There is something _weird_ going on. This isn't the first time **Dokuga** has found himself someone's prisoner, but even though they're kept in a dark cell with barely enough food and water to avoid dying, he still think these people are treating them _too nicely._

Or rather, their leader is. The man in the diving suit gave the guards _very specific instructions_ about the way they're supposed to be treated. He tells them it's because they need to be _questioned,_ they're supposed to reveal where other Sorcerers are hiding, but for three days now they have just been waiting in their cell.

The annoying thing is that they're losing their strength, most of the little food they're being given goes to the young man they share a cell with.

Fujita was tossed in with them almost a day after their capture.

Tetsujo recognized him instantly, even if he was greeted with some hostility, but was the one who insisted they shared most of their food with him.

"Here," Dokuga hands his bread bun to him after taking a small bite.

As usual, Fujita sits in a corner of the cell, hugging his knees, without saying a word. He just glares at him when Dokuga approaches and grabs the bread with a swift movement, biting greedily into it. "You barely ate yesterday too, why are you being so kind with me?" He says acidly. "Do you want me to put in a good word with En about you? He doesn't even listen to me."

"You're the only one of us who actually has magic," Tetsujo explains, lying on the floor to conserve his strength. After all, they're used to starving, the boy isn't.

Fujita stops eating and gives him a dry, bitter laugh. "Sorry to disappoint you, my magic is kind of shitty and weak without black powder."

"You're a core member of the En Family," Dokuga glares at him, not entirely convinced he's not bullshitting them.

"By chance," he mumbles. "I'm...just a courier, I ended up in this position because of circumstances."

"Well, we're fucked, then," Tetsujo groans.

Dokuga looks through the bars down the corridor. A guard comes periodically to check on them and take the empty food tray away. They usually have one of those effigies sewn on their uniforms and it's impossible to move while they're in the room, but this time something is different. There's no wave of nausea accompanying the footsteps and through the bars Dokuga catches a glimpse of the guard and knows instantly why.

There is no effigy on their armor.

Grinning, he pulls back and curls up on the floor. "Stay absolutely still," he whispers to the other two, before the rattling of keys announces their cell door opening. A large guard walks in, yawning, and without even looking at the three of them goes to pick up the empty tray.

Dokuga acts quickly, he kicks the guard's legs and forces him on his knees before slamming the metal tray on his head to knock him out, everything under Fujita's astonished eyes.

"Gotcha," Dokuga grins, looking at the prone body of the guard and the open cell door. "Now, let's scram!"

"Wait!" Fujita pulls on his arm. "Nikaido and Ebisu were captured too! They must be somewhere around here, we can't leave without them!"

"And you're telling us this _now?!"_ Tetsujo grabs him from his lapels.

"We don't have much time before someone notices this guy is gone…" Dokuga looks at the guard. He's too big for any of them to disguise themselves as him. _Maybe Ton would've been able to pull it off._ They get the keys from him and lock the door, not before tying his hands and arms and gagging his mouth with pieces of fabric.

"Let's look for them," Tetsujo heads towards the other cells, peeking into them from the windows.

"No," Dokuga has to stop him before he gets too far. "We have to _go,"_ he has to get them out of danger, _first._

"Are you just going to _abandon_ them?" Fujita growls, as intimidating as a tiny kitten believing he's a panther.

"No, but if we escape we can help them later, maybe ask the Boss for help…" he bites his tongue but it's too late. Aware of the shocked and _hurt_ look Tetsujo is giving him, he starts walking towards the exit.

"Kaiman is not the Boss," he hears Tetsujo's voice as he traverses the labyrinthine corridors. He's relieved he's following him at least. "The Boss is the monster who ate Ton alive and killed Saji, Ushishimada and Natsuki, remember?"

"I know," Dokuga sighs. Just, sometimes he can't help but think Kaiman is who the Boss was when he wasn't in a murderous rage, the man who used them but also gave them a home, taught them to fight. Who the Boss would have been if Holey had never existed.

The corridor ends on a ramp of stairs Dokuga starts to climb cautiously. He wonders what kind of building this used to be: maybe a police station, considering the cells. Guards patrol the upper floor in a regular pattern: like in the construction site, they barely leave an inch unpatrolled, but there's a certain room they don't dare to approach.

"That's their leader's room," Dokuga announces without hesitation.

"How do you-"

"Gut feeling."

"Then, we should avoid it, right?" Fujita looks at the two of them wide eyed.

"Look at their patterns, it's risky to try anything else. Even if we manage to stun one, we have a window of less than 10 seconds before someone finds out about us."

Fujita makes a face but nods. The boy might be a coward but right now they can't afford to be brave.

"I'll get the door, you watch my back." Tetsujo announces before dashing through the corridor as soon as the guard turns around the corner and leaves. Dokuga anxiously watches the other corner, knowing another will turn up in a few seconds, and is immediately relieved when he hears the click of the lock and Tetsujo glances at them before slipping inside the room.

Another guard passes, nothing indicates he realized what just happened. Dokuga grabs Fujita's wrist and bolts through the door, closing it behind them.

Relief is instantaneous when he sees Tetsujo is alright. Worst case scenario, the room was full of effigies and their escape plan was dead before starting.

The room is full of clatter, weapons, electronic devices, there's a pile of old newspapers in the corner and a file cabinet Tetsujo is currently going through.

"These people...whoever this guy is, he went out to recruit those who showed more resentment towards Sorcerers." He explains to them, showing the file. "Magic victims, people with a grudge, former soldiers…" he stops, snorting quietly when he sees a file he handles to Dokuga.

Inside, a photo of Kaiman, how he looked like when he still had a lizard head. _Sorcerer killer,_ the file says. The Kaiman in the photo has Cross-Eye marks and is shown in the process of stabbing a lithe man in a trench coat. He looks nothing like the Boss and yet he reminds Dokuga of him more than he does now. _He kept doing what Boss was doing._ Dokuga realizes this is a photo from before he got his memories back. He closes the file and is surprised when the front of the file sports a word scribbled in big red letters. _Sympathizer._

"Uh, guys, you might want to see this…" Fujita's voice distracts him from the file. 

The boy is parting up a curtain and for a moment Dokuga freezes, sure their escape attempt has come to an end. But the diving suit standing against the wall is empty, at a second glance. It lies abandoned next to a cabinet holding several objects: toys, a watch, a doll, a photograph. The photo shows a simple family, a man a woman and a child, a girl not older than 10, all smiling. Among all those are little glass statues of birds and squirrels, extremely detailed, almost uncanny in their beauty.

The photo looks old and ruined. "Maybe he has a grudge against Sorcerers because they killed his family…" Tetsujo says when he sees it, but something doesn't sound right to Dokuga.

There's a sound of footsteps. Panicking, the three of them hide behind the curtain, next to the metal suit, just before a trap door at the center of the room opens and a figure climbs out.

And Dokuga knows _exactly_ what that feeling of uneasiness was about. The figure emerging from the hidden passage, covered in sweat, is the middle aged man they were expecting. It's a young woman, not older than they are, with the same green eyes of the child in the photo.

_The items in the cabinet are all a child's._

She walks towards the curtain. Not the best hiding place, they realize. When she moves it and her eyes meet theirs, they're full of surprise for a moment and then Fujita is pointing his finger. A tiny glob of smoke flies at her at high speed: she moves quickly but the smoke still hits her in the shoulder. With an exclamation of pain she steps back, holding the injury that looks like a bullet wound.

She steadies on her feet, angry, but instead of grabbing one of the weapons scattered around the room, she opens her mouth and exhales a large amount of Smoke.

"You're-" Dokuga's eyes widen in surprise, but he can't finish his sentence. Every muscle of his body is paralyzed, cold, he can't even close his eyes. Flesh and bone are turning see-through _. The statues._ The world is going dark, he's losing consciousness, under Tetsujo's terrified eyes.

"I didn't want to hurt you, but you're too nosy for your own good." She grins. "I'll keep you in my collection for a while so that your friends don't go blabbering their mouths."

-

 **Shin** realizes he might've getting himself _too_ involved when he finds himself sitting on the floor of a small messy house, against a giant pillow chair that on a second look is just a bunch of destroyed pillows wrapped in a large blanket. Beer in one hand, he watches Kaiman look anxiously at the microwave in the small kitchen space in a corner of the bedroom/living room.

 _I should probably warn Noi._ He realizes, tired and drunk after spending most of the day running around the city looking for a signal with a shitty radar. Now that darkness has fallen, Risu has taken over the search, being able to fly over the city unnoticed as Curse. Asu has volunteered to start fixing up the destroyed Hungry Bug, that left Shin with nowhere to go but follow Kaiman home.

"I don't think you've ever invited me here, before," he notes, vaguely aware this is the third can of shitty beer he's downed.

Kaiman snorts. "Sorry it's not a great place to hang," he keeps looking at the oven like somehow staring at it would heat the food faster.

"I didn't even know you liked beer," Shin continues with a small chuckle. "Turns out, I realized I really don't know much about you."

Kaiman is quiet, but Shin doesn't turn around to see whether he's looking at him or now. This and the inhebriation contribute to Kaiman taking him by surprise when he sneaks up from behind him and lets himself fall on the pillow chair face down, clawing at the beer pack. Shin hands him a can with a thin layer of amusement.

"I know you've tried to tell me," Shin continues, before he's too drunk to string thoughts together in a proper manner. "I'm sorry I never listened."

An empty can flies against his head, hitting the wall when Shin ducks just in time. He turns around to see Kaiman positively _glaring_ at him. "Don't make this about you."

He frowns. "I'm trying not to," he tries to take another swig but realizes the can in his hand is empty. _Not good, they have to keep searching in the morning._ "I...want to know about you. About the _you_ that exists now, the parts I've missed and those I don't know about."

Kaiman looks up at him then rolls around to lay back on the pillow, looking at the ceiling. "There's parts you don't _want_ to know about…"

Shin is used to Kaiman being the clingy one, the first who goes for physical touch, so he doesn't miss the fact that since that afternoon, he's been distant. And the worst part is, he's _right._ There is parts that Shin really doesn't want to know about or even acknowledge, but if he doesn't they're not moving forward. He knows exactly _which_ parts he's talking about.

"Mastema," Shin sighs, and he feels a pang of satisfaction at Kaiman's surprised face. "The first time we met again...was in Mastema."

 _Now_ Kaiman is looking at him, wary, gauging his reaction, trying to understand his intentions.

"How much of… _that_ was you?" He asks even though he doesn't really want to know the answer.

"Most of it," Kaiman says flatly and when Shin glances at him there's no way to say what he's thinking. "But you've known this for a while."

Shin draws a shaky breath and nods. "You're different though," he frowns. "You're not trying to kill me, for one."

Kaiman snorts and finally smiles, but looks away. "Well _that thing_ isn't in my head giving me orders anymore."

The small gestures, the way he turns away when he speaks his mind, the sarcasm in his voice, those are all undeniably _Ai's._ But for the first time Shin realizes how they're certainly at the base of someone more complex.

"If it has always been you, why did you try to kill me in Mastema?" Shin finally asks, not without a thin underlying level of anger.

Kaiman looks at him, shifting uncomfortably. "I didn't know it was you," he admits. "I didn't even _consider_ it might have been...until I took off your mask," he says in a monotone voice, eyes closed, "but _you-_ when I recognized you, I think that was the first time in years I managed to… _get back in the driving seat,_ or so to speak. That's why En managed to escape with his life. That's why you did."

Shin is confused. "I thought you said-"

"I know, I know," Kaiman looks as conflicted as him, shaking his head. "I don't know what to tell you. Now it's different, but for _such_ a long time there was a distance between the _me_ outside and-" he stops talking suddenly, like the words are lodged in his throat.

Shin tentatively shuffles closer to him.

"I thought they were nightmares," Kaiman continues, voice barely a murmur, "then I started blocking out those memories entirely. _I_ started disappearing while the me outside became just a shell for that thing to hide behind." He drops his head on his knee. "This body Nikaido created, it was me too and a different person entirely. Maybe I'm just memories seeped inside this head, maybe I'm just _possessing_ him again, I don't-" he pauses. _"I_ haven't existed for very long. I remember those years clearly now, the haze is gone, but…"

"They weren't you," Shin realizes with relief, "but you are _them."_

He huffs, finally leaning against Shin. "That's a way to say it, I guess."

"I suppose I should hold you accountable for turning me into mushrooms for a _month,_ then." Shin comments in a light tone, surprising himself by how _ok_ he is with the whole ordeal. "That wasn't pleasant."

He's dating the former Boss of the Cross-Eyes and he's _fine_ with it. Oh, En would kill him on the spot if he knew. The thought is somewhat endearing.

Kaiman's head shoots up at the remark.

"You _knew_ it was me, that time. You did it on purpose." Shin insists.

Kaiman frowns. "Hey! You're the ones that barged into _my house_ and started beating up and bagging my team!" He exclaims, sitting up, but there's a hint of a smile on his face. "And you had also cut my head off, previously! It was _retaliation!"_

"I dare to say we're even," Shin laughs. How he _missed_ him, simply _being_ with him with no obligations, no jobs, no compromises. _It was really selfish of me to drag him into my work, but somehow I'm glad I did._ "It was rea-"

His words are stopped by Kaiman's lips pressing against his. It's a very sloppy kiss with the strong taste of cheap beer being exchanged in their breaths. They pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths for a moment before Kaiman shifts to sit on top of Shin, knees on either side of his tights. Shin holds his head in his hands and pulls him into a more fiery kiss while Kaiman's hands work their way around his body, tracing each crevasse, each line of his physique.

Then, the microwave pings and Kaiman is immediately on his feet, taking out a plate of previously frozen taiyaki. Shin remains still, dumbfounded, flushed and out of breath on the pillow chair.

Kaiman bites greedily into one of the snacks, letting out a colorful exclamation when it burns his tongue.

"Y- you...what…" Shin stutters in astonishment, still frozen in place.

"That's for lying to me." Kaiman finishes the taiyaki and licks his fingers. "Also," he shrugs with a coy smile, "I love food more than I love you…"

"You asshole…" Shin groans, ashamed he fell right into his trap.

When Kaiman falls asleep curled against him, minutes later, likely because of the beer and the stressful conversation, Shin finds himself tracing the lines on his face fondly. He knows he should at least pop back home and tell Noi where he is, but he doesn't want to leave his side.

Just when he's about to let himself relax and try to fall asleep too, he hears a rustling noise at the window and is immediately alert, hammer in his hand, eyes towards the source of the noise.

The shadows at the window partially dissipate, showing Risu landing just outside. The mask and part of the Smoke enveloping him disappear, but he still retains Curse's second pair of eyes and sharp teeth when he lands.

"What do you want?" Shin asks, more hostile than he means to be.

"I found them."


	10. Conflict/Constrict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know more about Haru's story in this AU, go read my one-shot "Like Fallen Flower Petals on Water".

_"Who am I?"_

_He falls and falls and sinks into cold and darkness, once again, he just wants to sleep, he just wants to rest._

_"Just let me die like this."_

_Memories fade, like Doors melting into thin air, names turning into meaningless sounds._

_"Isn't it obvious?" The voice is familiar and yet it is not. He doesn't hear it, nor did he imagine it, but it's what prompts him to open his eyes. "You are_ all _of us."_

_He looks at the three figures in front of him and he understands. Doors blast open, memories he repressed or ignored for so long surge forward with the force of a ravine._

_"You're him."_

_He looks at the Sorcerer, behind his black mask. Memories of fun school days, of trust and partnership, of lies and deceit. To everyone and most of all to himself._

_"You're him."_

_He looks at the Monster, someone capable of committing atrocities for his own gain, driven by that need for power and knowledge that fueled him since a young age._

_"And me."_

_He looks at the Boy, scared and alone, but also_ loved. _By a doctor who acted like a father more than his actual family, by a cautious boy who would sacrifice his life for him, by an old man who was barely present to provide for his well being. How blind was he, if only he'd realized he already had what he wished for._

_"As well as yourself."_

_And that is the truth. He hasn't become himself just recently, he's always been himself._

_But there are Doors he still has to open._

_He pushes open a shabby apartment door. Empty rooms, empty pantry, not a book or a photograph in sight._ I don't belong here. _The feeling won't go away, no matter how many times the one raising him will always tell him this is_ home.

_He swings open a large metal door. They're having lunch on the rooftop, the wind blowing in their face. "There is nothing for me in this town," he says, looking ahead. The Doctor looks at him with sadness but not pity._

_He pushes open the doors to the operating theater, his flesh and bones are melting, he can see his lungs inflating and deflating, glistening in the led lights. The doctor takes a mass of pulsating flesh from the corpse on the neighbouring bed and tries to cram it in between the broken organs._ A fruitless attempt. _But the sludge now flowing in his body, smoke and soil and rotten flesh, fuses that flesh with his own. His_ sacrifice.

 _He can't bear it anymore, he kicks down the next Door. It's raining and there's five little kids at his feet, they're looking at him like he's some kind of_ god. Stop it.

 _He runs, slamming open a wooden door. 501, his apartment. He looks down at himself and his body feels wrong and foreign._ How many years has it been? How many years have I missed? _Missed? No._

 _He turns back, he didn't_ miss _them. He turns the doorknob of the cabin's door. It's isolated and big enough for him to continue his research. He lets the big one with precise hands, Kenta, implant more Devil Tumors in his brain. He can use the magic of those he slayed, like this. But it's not enough. It's never enough._

 _He slides the van door open. Outside the vehicle, trees leave space to the desert ruins. Once a famous tourist attraction, not Salmanaza is empty and silent. He sees a lonely figure next to the big statue. Risu._ My partner. My friend. Run. _He begs silently and steps forward._ Run. _His knife sinks in Risu's throat._ _"Boss, why did you kill Risu? Wasn't he one of our own?" Dokuga asks him, serious and yet so worried. "You're bothering me, go away," he orders him. In synch with the memory._

 _He leaves through a Door, to a familiar alley. He doesn't need to live through this again. "You're not a Sorcerer, you're a fake." Curse rips the implanted organs out of his body, leaving him somehow still alive. The Monster cruelly withdraws and for those few terrifying minutes he's just himself against the vengeful ghost. He calls Risu's name._ I'm sorry. _He dies. Curse enters his body at the same time as he crushes the smoke bottle in his hand. For the first time in years he wakes up as_ himself. _But his memories are gone._

_He opens a familiar hospital room door. "I saw in a book a lizard that kinda looks like you," Nikaido grins. He smiles at her, so young, so naive. What would've happened to him if she hadn't been around to brighten his life._

_He leaves through the same door. Night of the Living Dead. The anniversary of a wish he has forgotten about at this point. Shin stands in front of him, neither of them recognizing each other. Kaiman goes for his heart, Shin goes for the head. Night of the Living Dead, when_ that thing's _power was stronger. He picks the severed lizard head up, still bloody, and walks down towards the Department Store._

 _He walks through a curtain of darkness. He sees Nikaido, as a Devil, taking the head in her hands, infusing it with powerful magic, and suddenly he's alive again. She leaves before she's seen, but her past self is the one who turns around the corner, to smile and jump towards him. She kicks him in the face. He laughs at the memory._ So diffident, I can't blame her.

 _He walks away, deeper. He sees the pile of skinned bodies, the former Devils making him an offer. "...strong enough to fight against that thing." He accepts, he needs to take responsibility for bringing that thing into the world, for giving it a physical body. He sees them offering him a plant made of black leaves._ I don't remember this. _He eats it and the world goes dark._ Did I die and they resurrected me as a Sorcerer? I never stopped to wonder _how_ they did it exactly.

 _He opens House's door and finds himself in a large cavern. "Your Devil Tumor has been destroyed," Chidaruma chuckles, observing the fight without taking part in it. "You're dying, Kaiman." He falls backwards into the sludge, once again, he sinks._ It _sinks into him. It's_ his _power too, he manages to absorb it and it_ hurts _but it's the last weapon he has._ I wasn't able to get my magic back, at that time. So, the sludge isn't what healed my Devil tumor. It's merely what kept me alive. _All of the sludge in his body is taken away by Hole once again, before he's defeated for good._

 _The door to the Hungry Bug chimes as he walks in. "Are you trying to tell me you did it for_ my _sake?!" He slams Risu to the floor, furious. He just doesn't understand why being a Devil is so important to him, yet._ What an hypocrite I am. _"Is this what this is all about?" Kasukabe sips on some beer. "Haru, you were there...can you fix this?" Kaiman looks up and sees Haru groan. "I specifically didn't want to, but…"_

 _He falls towards the floor, running around the streets of a distorted Hole, he knows he’s being followed with the same certainty he knows this is a_ dream. _The knife sinks in his wrist painfully, nailing him to the wall. “Even now, what’s keeping your body together is me, Ai Coleman…”_

 _He moves away and steps inside the private area where En and his family are sitting at the theatre. On the large screen, a man with the same face as him grins and holds Shin and Noi’s masks._ A shapeshifter actor. _“Holy shit, the resemblance is uncanny!” he exclaims just before Shin stands up and drags him outside. They kiss in the empty hallway of the theatre and it's...so_ nice.

_They walk in the privé of a fancy bar together, sitting on the sofa next to each other. He’s tired, so tired. They talk about Rainwater and En and a mission and he wants to leave but he does not. He follows and he’s descending the steps of the quarry excavation slowly. The water level is rising but he keeps walking, slowly sinking in the cold darkness once again._

How all this begun.

 _“You are_ all _of us,” the Boy repeats, smiling._

 _Kaiman looks up at the Monster again, but it’s a mirror this time. His own reflection. Features no longer twisted by hate._ Himself. _In_ his _image. "But can I live with it?" He asks the reflection. "Can_ they?" _The shadow he casts on the wall behind him barely looks human, bloody eyes stare him down, leaking sewage and blood. "I don't want to deny you, I'm done with running away and pretend to be alright. I'm done with forgetting. I made you, and you made me. You're part of me, the part it was harder for me to reclaim."_

 _His hands embrace the shadow, melting in his grasp. It rushes into his blood, cold but not freezing anymore._ His _power now. The hydra is just a snake, just one life, just one soul._

 _The last Door is the one he made, one single snake, coiled in the shape of the number 8. Biting its own tail._ Endless. _It returns where it started._

_He's falling, once again of his own accord._

_"But I'm ready now."_

_The Door opens._

-

 **Kaiman** wakes up alone, certain he dreamed about something _important_ but he doesn't clearly recall it. It doesn't feel like a nightmare, though, he realizes with relief.

"Shin, what time-" he frowns, his head feels heavy. He realizes quickly the mask he thought he'd left at the hospital is once again secured on his face. He fumbles with growing irritation and unlock the clasps, throwing it across the room as soon as it's off.

But the mask doesn’t fall, _someone_ catches before it gets to the ground.

 **"Idiot,"** he hears a voice from the opposite corner of the room and his blood freezes. **"I told them and everything, you have to keep it on."**

"Haru…" Kaiman growls at the massive figure in rage, as the Devil steps out of the shadows.

She caresses the mask, tracing the creases in the metal with long sharp claws. **"This was one of my best works too, don't just throw it on the floor like a stupid toddler with his pacifier."**

Kaiman stumbles on his feet. He remembers clearly falling asleep next to Shin on the pillows, but he's on his bed now and Shin is nowhere to be seen. "Haru," he sits up.

**"That's my name, don't wear it out."**

He continues, ignoring the joke. "What the _fuck_ is your deal with me?!" He hisses between clenched teeth. "What are you doing here?!"

 **"What a melodramatic asshole,"** she sighs. **"Catch."** She tosses him the mask again. **"Put it on. Since your body is chock-full of magic, Smoke doesn't work on you. I had to infuse that mask with healing magic to allow your Devil Tumor to heal."**

"Why?" Kaiman is speechless and angry. So _she's_ the one who wanted this. “I was _fine_ with not having magic, why did you do this to me?!”

There is a long silence during which Kaiman can see her staring him down from the darkness with shining red eyes.

"Why are you doing this to me?!" He repeats, shouting and bolting on his feet to dash towards her.

He regrets it immediately, as she grabs him from the throat, lifting him in the air easily. **"Stupid mortal, this was never about** **_you."_ ** She growls, tossing him across the room like a ragdoll. **"I'm a Devil, I don't feel anxiety or regret. But I was temporarily mortal again during the last fight and since then I've had this** **_stupid_ ** **worm in my brain…"**

Kaiman stands up, sore but with no apparent broken bones, making a mental note to not try to assault a Devil again.

 **"So, this has nothing to do with you. I'd do anything** **_to_ ** **you as long as it makes** **_me_ ** **feel better."**

"Your _mistake…"_ he glares at her. "What do you regret so much even as a Devil? What does it have to do with me being a Sorcerer?! Didn't you guys make me into one just to win your bet?!"

 **"In part, yes."** She admits. **"But we** **_could_ ** **only because you were always supposed to be."**

If the floor suddenly fractured and crumbled under his feet, Kaiman wouldn't have felt any different. The room spins as his brain _tries_ to give a sense to these words, to fit them in a pattern that doesn't have room for them at all. "...what?"

**"When you were a baby, Chidaruma removed your Devil Tumor to allow you live in Hole. He probably saw it as an interesting experiment. I let him, so I could become a Devil, and never regretted it."**

_"...what?"_

**"When you popped back in our world with stolen Tumors and organs in your body, I should've known that's what that asshole had planned for you from the beginning."**

_I don't belong here._

_"...what?"_

**"Are you a broken record? Anyway, we managed to reverse Chidaruma's magic just in time to win the bet. Shame that powerful magic of yours has been** **_corrupted_ ** **now, but that's of no interest to me."**

_I always felt like this was no place for me._

_And I was_ right.

 **"Anyway, this is the last time I check up on you. Keep that fucking mask on, or you'll regret it. The healing process should be over soon, anyway. You'll** **_know_ ** **when it is."**

The shadows of the room seem to envelop her and after a moment she's gone. She leaves the mask and a signed copy of her latest album on the floor.

Kaiman stays still, his chest heavy like every breath weights like a rock. Head spinning, he cannot make sense of what just happened.

The mask in his hands. A gift. _Fix what was never supposed to be broken._

_I am…_

_I was…_

He wants to scream. Scream, destroy, run away. _Forget._ He can't move. He can barely breathe.

He wanted answers. _I didn't want this._ Why did he look for answers?! _I didn't want this!_

 _Run, run away. Forget._ He freezes. _I can't- all of my friends, they're waiting for me._

_Where are they?_

Stumbling across the room, he grabs the phone and with shaking hands dials the number of the Hungry Bug. After a few agonizing seconds, someone picks up and Kaiman is flooded with relief.

"This is the Hungry Bug restaurant, I'm afraid we're close at the moment, but-"

"Asu, shut the fuck up, it's me," Kaiman hisses. "Did you hear anything from Shin?"

There's a pause. "Yeah, Risu found something last night and they went to check it out. You should probably come here, too."

Kaiman stays perfectly still. "Why did they go without me?! Why can't people wait…?!"

"They just went to check out the place, then came back here to discuss a plan. Is everything alright?" Asu asks, concerned.

Kaiman snorts, shaking his head. "...no. Fuck, I…" he takes a deep breath. "There's somewhere I need to go, first."

There's a long silence on the line. "Where? So that I can tell them where to look for you."

"I'm going home."

-

It's a nostalgic place. Most of the apartments have been abandoned and the railing is rusty and falling apart, but the balcony over the park that once was a cemetery is where **Shin** finds Kaiman a few hours after the phone call.

It's impossible to know what he's thinking, face hidden by the now sadly familiar mask. _Why is he wearing it here? Why is he wearing it now?_ The conclusion he gets to is that for some reason he doesn't want Shin to see his face, it's the only conclusion that makes sense. It hurts a little, but he can understand.

He's sitting down, legs dangling down the edge. Many times in the past Shin came here at night to find him in the exact same position. Shin's heartbeat increases, he's smiling before he realizes it, _fondness_ swelling his soul at the realization he was waiting for him.

Without a word, he sits next to him. Kaiman doesn't seem to acknowledge him until he leans his head on Shin's shoulder.

"...you alright?" Shin asks.

He silently shakes his head. Shin thought things were getting better between the two of them, and with the situation in general. Something must have happened to throw him for a loop, because he hasn't been so _quiet_ in a very long time.

"What happened?"

Kaiman straightens up, looking at his own hands, at the deep scars creasing his fingertips. He clenches them as he starts a word and stops, another broken sound. "...I can't even talk about it, it's so messed up…" he manages to utter in the end.

Shin reaches to hold his hands, making him stop digging the nails into his palms. "Won't you try?"

He interlocks his fingers with his. Shin hears his breathing slow down, becoming deeper, more controlled. He sees his eyes are closed behind the lenses. "H…I-" he takes a deep breath. "Where to start…"

He tells him Haru was in his house that morning. That she made the mask to heal his Devil Tumor, that she told him not to take it off _or he'll regret it._

Shin remembers offering him the same thing, a small vial of white smoke that would give him the chance to use magic again. He remembers how Kaiman instantly refused it, inexplicably at the time but now he's starting to realize why he did so. "I'm sorry she didn't give you the chance to _choose."_

Kaiman start chuckling, bitter, dry, sarcastic. "That's not even the fucked up part."

Shin dreads what comes next and he's right to. When he tells him what Haru did, what _Chidaruma_ allegedly did, Shin feels like he's falling.

"Hold on…" he exhales. He needs to stand up. He lets go of Kaiman's hands and takes a few steps back. _"Hold on."_

Kaiman is looking at him, impossible to say with which expression.

"That's- if you're- why would Haru...what does this have to do with her?"

Kaiman looks away, towards the direction his grandfather's apartment door is. "I always kinda knew he wasn't…" the words are lost in a murmur. "He never talked about my parents or have any photos. He was just _some_ old man I called gramps because he was too old to be anything else."

Shin is not surprised by this, he's more shocked by where it is going.

"I got it out of him, today, how he got to take care of me. He saw the woman who abandoned me, and the description matches how _she_ looked like when she was mortal…" he laughs again, dropping his head in his hands. "Shin, _Shin,_ this is so fucked up…"

Shin's head is spinning. No wonder Ai always felt out of place, _he was._ Had the Boss of the Cross-Eyes been stealing tumors for this reason? _Because his own was stolen from him?_ Chidaruma _wanted_ the birth of Holey, did he plan so far ahead or just happened to have a hand in the events that brought it to life?

But there's another thought, trivial compared to the rest, that is buzzing in his head.

"...is Kasukabe…?"

Kaiman's body is shaken by laughter - or maybe sobs, it's hard to tell. _"Likely."_

"Fuck…" Shin lets himself fall on the ground. "This _is_ so fucked up." He exhales. "No wonder _you're_ so fucked up."

Kaiman stops for a moment before shoving Shin's head away with his hand. "Says Mister _cutting my own arms off with laser bisturi sounds like a great idea "_

"Come on!" Shin straightens up and pushes against him. "Really? You know I was _desperate!"_

"Yeah, a desperate _dumbass."_ He finally slips off his mask, letting it hang from his neck. He's not crying but he definitely has been.

Shin is surprised he doesn't even see the Cross-Eyes anymore when he looks at him. He's _just_ Kaiman. Just _his._ Shin doesn't let the opportunity go to waste and leans forward to kiss him. Kaiman lets him for approximately two seconds before swatting his face back like an annoying fly. "I'm still pissed at you, you know that."

Shin sighs and smiles. "I know…"

"So, what did you find?"

It takes Shin a few seconds to understand what the question is about, to remember what's happening and what he's found out. "Right…" he digs into his pockets to find a crumpled up flier. "We found the cockroach next to an abandoned construction site. A quite large group of people are using it as a _training_ area of sorts, we saw no trace of Nikaido or the Cross-Eyes," He hands Kaiman the flier. "But we found a bunch of these."

Kaiman looks at the paper, paper crackling as his hold tightens to the point of ripping it apart. "Those _assholes,"_ he growls. "When is this gonna happen?"

"We think tonight. We tried to go to the place, but Risu could barely get close and I wanted to wait for you to wake up." He stands up at the same Kaiman does. "So, what should we do?"

Kaiman looks up at him, a new determination shining in his eyes. “We’re going.”

-

The stadium fills with people slowly, a crowd forming quickly outside as bright lights shine on the patios. **Kaiman** hasn’t seen such a big show in Hole since the last Night of the Living Dead, but somehow the noises and music sound dreadful and ominous to him.

 _Nikaido’s in there._ He knows with certainty he cannot quite explain, as they approach the entrance.

Shin stumbles and leans against him.

“You ok?”

He makes a noise of complaint. “There’s effigies everywhere, I’m going to throw up...”

 _“You_ wanted to come!” Kaiman scoffs, helping him stand up on his own before they catch someone’s attention. “We’re getting close to the entrance, inside should be fine.”

The archway that is being used as the entrance is guarded by two 6 feet tall effigies of Holey. _Just how many did they make of these?_ They’re merely annoying to him, but Shin is starting to suffer the side effects of being near them more than he thought he was going to be.

Just before getting to the ticket booth, Kaiman grabs from the ground an abandoned alcohol bottle. There’s only a few drops on the inside but it will have to do. “Hold on,” he grabs Shin and pours the remaining drops of alcohol on the front of his shirt.

“What the- this reeks!”

Kaiman shoves the bottle in his hands. “Just play along if you’re not going to be able to stand up straight,” he tells him before advancing to the archway, to buy two tickets.

Neither the man in the booth or the guards at the entrance seems to give the two of them unnecessary attention. Despite the mask, they let him through without a word when he walks next to the statues without hesitation. He stops for a moment, once inside, worried about Shin, but relaxes when he sees him walk through on his own, if anything a bit dizzy.

He shoves the bottle back in Kaiman’s hands, positively _glaring_ at him. “I need new clothes. This shirt is ruined.”

“That’s why I said you should’ve taken some of mine,” Kaiman drops the bottle on the ground and follows him, away from the entrance and the statues.

Shin scoffs. “Like you have anything that doesn’t look like you picked it from the ground and thrown into a shredder,” he grabs a corner of the shoulder cape Kaiman is wearing over his jacket. "The fuck is this?"

“Shut up,” he shoves him playfully as they approaches the first market stalls. The atmosphere reminds them a bit of Blue Night, if smaller and less colorful. Half of the arena is taken by shops and the like, while the other half is off-limits and guarded by some people in a black uniform Kaiman isn’t familiar with.

The fliers called it _Artie’s First Festival of Fire! A Celebration of Hole’s freedom and independence from the Sorcerer Menace!_ and showed the picture of a man in a wizard hat being impaled on a stake with the words _Special execution event!_

Kaiman wonders if they should find a way to enter the off-limits area when Shin grabs his sleeve and points at the mostly empty bleachers. "Wait for me there, I'll get something to wear," Shin pats quickly Kaiman on his shoulder, moving towards the stalls.

There aren't effigies in here, so, trusting he will be fine for a couple of minutes, he heads in the direction Shin pointed at. A few scattered people sit on the bleachers, but from there he has a better view on the off-limits part of the arena.

It's mostly empty, save for a few large rectangular objects covered by sheets and a third large Holey statue with a wooden platform built around. It's at least as big as the one in the church. _This is ridiculous, how many did they manage to create?!_ It's clear it's some kind of stage for a later event, rather than a backstage area.

He squints when he thinks he can see something moving under the sheets, and he's so focused he barely notices the shadow landing in the darkness behind him.

"Good spot," Risu's voice makes him jump. "This is as close as I can get." He sits on the plastic chair next to Kaiman as the shadowy cloak around him dissipates.

"...you're getting real good at that," Kaiman comments in surprise.

Risu grins. "Claw is an asshole but at least her training was real useful," he crosses his arms behind his neck. "I'm a bit worried about something she said, though." He's looking at the statue at the center of the arena.

Kaiman quietly listens. He's glad things are good between them but he still can't relax next to Risu, and he has a feeling Risu feels it too because he moves a seat away. "About what?"

Risu points at the large effigy. "She said that _thing_ isn't dead and it's bound to come back in 6 millennia or so if things don't change. That’s why my Curse hasn’t actually been dispelled."

Kaiman feels a cold shiver down his back. _It doesn't matter. I'll be long gone, the people I care about will be long gone. Sorcerers can go fuck themselves if that nightmare happens again._ Still, he can't help but feel uneasiness at the thought of _that_ thing not being gone just _dormant._ Or maybe not even dormant, just too weak to act, to get a physical form. _To order me around._

Risu is staring at him, probably expecting some kind of reply, or maybe gauging his reaction. _But the reason he can still turn into Curse...that’s not the reason. The one who killed him actually was..._

"...it makes sense…" Kaiman forces himself to say. Risu frowns.

"Are you…?" He's about to ask, but stops when he sees a figure climbing up the stairs and approaching them. Shin soon catches up, wearing a new hoodie and holding a basket of fried food under his arm.

"Nice of you to join us, Risu." He comments, wary.

"Yeah, I was watching from up there," he points at one of the light poles above the stadium. "I don't think I can get any closer to that thing…"

"Fried chicken?" Shin offers Kaiman the basket when he sits next to him. "It was cheap."

"Because you _assume_ it's chicken," Kaiman humors him.

"...and you wonder why I don't like this city," he makes a disgusted face.

As soon as Kaiman grabs the basket and lowers his mask to start eating, Risu hisses and looks away.

"I thought we were cool," Kaiman says flatly, keeping on eating without looking at him.

"We are, it's just so fucking unsettling…" he pouts.

Shin looks annoyed but doesn't address the tension. "See something interesting?"

Kaiman looks at the shapes and nods. "I think those are cages…" he points at them. "Very likely that's where Nikaido and the others are being kept."

"Shall we break them out now, while the crowd is focused on the stalls?"

"There's a lot of guards and only one way out," Kaiman shakes his head.

"That's not going to be a problem," Shin grins and grabs his hammer.

Kaiman looks at him, uneasy. "If possible, I would like not to kill anyone."

"Wha-" Shin gapes. "Since when is that a problem for you? Is it because they're human?"

"That, and also…" he glances at Risu, unable to shake the words he said out of his head, "call it a gut feeling. Nothing good will come out if we just slaughter our way out of...here…" he trails off, suddenly finding it very hard to focus. He slowly puts the basket on the side, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Kaiman?!" Shin calls to him. Risu instantly bolts on his feet, alarmed.

"I'm fine," Kaiman mumbles. It's not a headache but a general burning sensation behind his eyes and in his chest.

_...or you'll regret it._

He slips the mask back on, the burning feeling seems to fade. _Great, now I can't even eat?_ He sighs and leans back against the chair, he really doesn't feel like doing something like this, but he can't abandon Nikaido. "Right. Let's figure things out." He notes out loud. "Worst case scenario, the _execution_ is exactly what it says on the page, we have to act before the show starts, but we don't know their numbers and we can't create a panic…"

Risu and Shin look at each other. "I think he's trying to sound more competent than he is," Shin says in a loud whisper.

"Yeah, half of his plans have always been _barge in and figure it out later."_ Risu chuckles.

Kaiman sits up. "Hey, fuck you! I'm _trying_ to figure things out."

Shin laughs for a few seconds before sighing. "Look, alright, it's a bit different than what I'm used to doing with Noi, but we can try sneaking out from the back? I don't think the host is going to come in from the main entrance."

"I can do that!" Risu announces. "I'll find a way to get you a signal when I've secured an escape route!" He stands up and steps out of the light, vanishing in the darkness just outside the stadium.

Kaiman stands and up and stretches. "While he does that, let's see if I can talk to some of those guards. Can you walk around to find a blind spot or something?"

Shin nods. "Sure."

He's not a fan of splitting up, but they need to work around their weaknesses to avoid a direct confrontation. Slowly, Kaiman walks down from the bleachers and away from the stalls, towards the line of guards.

They're all wearing yellow garments with helmets, like the old Militia but slimmer, more suited for fast combat than magic protection. _Oh, I hope this is not what I think it is._

Two of them see Kaiman approaching and they're immediately on guard. "This area is off limits!" The one on the left shouts, his hand going for a gun at his side. "Hold on, is he…?" He rummages in his pockets and takes out a small effigy, holding it out in front of him like a priest would a cross during an exorcism.

 _Ah, it's because of the mask._ "Rude," Kaiman comments. "You know, not everyone wearing a mask is a Sorcerer." _And not every human is on your side._ He adds to himself. "What is going on over there?" He gets close enough to peek over their shoulder.

"Oh, it's just the _goods_ for the main show," the guard on the left cackles. "But seriously step back, we don't want to use force."

Kaiman grins under the mask. He has _no intention_ of stepping back. "Is the main show _actually_ going to be an execution? Feels bad taste to me."

The guards look at each other. "Dude, yeah, but it’s Sorcerers, you know?”

“The assholes who turned this city around.”

“There hasn’t been an attack or ‘practice’ in over a year,” Kaiman speaks slowly as if addressing a child. The Sorcerer community is overall too scared to cross over after what happened, and even if it wasn’t their world was in shambles too.

“Not true, dude, last week a whole apartment building of people has been turned into glass statues, the culprit is still at large.”

Kaiman freezes. _Glass statues? And ‘a whole apartment building’? That sounds like elite magic, but elites don’t come here to ‘practice’, so that only leaves one option: someone purposefully attacked said building in retaliation. But if so, why didn’t I hear about it?_ Realizing he’s been quiet for several seconds, he shakes his head. “So are you going to execute that guy?”

“Nah, wasn’t caught yet,” the guard shrugs, “but Artie rounded up a few of those bastards as an example.”

“Yeah, apparently they’ve been living amongst us nonchalantly, can you imagine?”

“Fucking disgusting.”

That is when Kaiman decides that these people aren’t worth his time or even his pity. He’s starting to consider if it’s worth it to be the distraction and kill them while Risu and Shin sneak in and free the others, but he’s interrupted by a loud siren going off moments before the metal gate on the opposite end of the stadium starts rising.

“Please gather on the bleachers, ladies and gentlemen,” a croaky voice announces, “the show’s about to start!”

Kaiman lunges forward but is blocked by a hand on his shoulder. “Let it go, it’s too late,” Shin says, pointing at the gate. Out of it are marching into the arena a dense group of uniformed men whose hoods resemble Holey, they’re led by a somewhat shorter person in a full diving suit that heads right up to the wooden stage, standing between the two statues.

The guards stand on attention.

“We’re getting looks, let’s go,” Shin insists. “Unless you want to charge…”

Kaiman hesitates but takes a few steps back, mingling with the crowd. Waiting could be too late and they have to find a way to communicate with Risu they’re retreating, but there’s a lot of enemies and getting reckless might be dangerous.

The lights on the bleachers turn off, leaving only the stage illuminated.

“Welcome!” The man in a diving suit announces, his voice distorted and amplified by a speaker. “My name is Arthur Vitas, you might’ve heard my name before as I sponsored the Holey Beautification Project!”

Loud cheers and shouts come from the crowd.

“I’m here to announce that all of you are about to witness a moment that will go down in history!” He raises his arms and the masked soldiers around him stand to attention.

“Oh, you’ve got to be _kidding_ me,” Shin growls, clenching his teeth.

“With the opening of a new garrison and training camp, the Hole Militia is officially being reinstated!” Artie announces.

After a moment of silence, the crowd starts cheering loudly.

“Well, fuck,” Kaiman sighs, before feeling a hold on his arm and seeing Shin absolutely _seething_ with rage. For him the Militia is the corrupt system that killed his father and chased him out of Hole.

"You," Artie points towards the crowd and Kaiman tenses for a moment before realizing he's addressing a middle aged man standing in the front. "Yes, you. How do you feel about Sorcerers?"

"Bunch of pissin' assholes," he barks out.

Artie laughs. "That's what I want to hear! Step forward! You'll have the honor of pressing the trigger for tonight's main event!"

The man approaches the stage just as the same time something, or rather _someone_ is being dragged on it at the opposite end.

"Nikaido…!" Kaiman almost shouts her name when the barely conscious woman is tied up to a wooden pole between the two statues, behind Artie.

But she's not alone.

"Is that…? What the fuck is _she_ doing here?!" Shin hisses when another smaller figure is tied up next to Nikaido. The young girl in the En Family, _the one with lizard transformation magic._

Meanwhile, Artie has led the middle aged man down the stage and closer to the crowd, handing the man what looks like a remote control. The militiamen are gathering wired boxes of fireworks at Nikaido and Ebisu's feet.

"Come on, man, one simple push and the first Sorcerers of tonight are going to _blow up!"_ Artie pats on his shoulder.

"That's enough," Kaiman growls, starting to push through the crowd to get to the front, he doesn't even check if Shin is following him. He _must_ get Nikaido down from there _now._

It's not until he pushes through and arrives at the front, right next to Artie and the old man, that he realizes the latter is hesitating.

"Any moment now…" Artie sounds a little annoyed.

"Dude, I don't know…" the old man stutters, "that's just a girl and a kid, I'm not- I'm not sure I want to see this."

Kaiman freezes. Artie does for entirely different reasons. "What?" He growls. "Spineless idiot!" He rips the remote out of his hand and steps back towards the guards. "You do that, since people are cowards, you should at least be able to obey a single order!"

Shin catches up with Kaiman, ready to throw hands, but Kaiman stops him, one hand on his chest, eager to see how this evolves. The guard is also hesitating. "Artie, I know this is what we planned, but it feels bad taste, especially with a _child…"_

“And, dude, isn’t that Nikaido from the Hungry Bug?” Another guard butts in. “I don’t care if she’s a Sorcerer, I’ve known her since she was like 10. She makes the best gyoza in town!”

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" Artie looks around in growing rage. _"All_ of you?! These are motherfucking _Sorcerers!_ Don't act like you suddenly have a conscience! A woman and a child?! Don't say such things as _if you haven't done this before!"_

"Right, enough," Kaiman lets Shin go and reaches behind his back to slip a long machete knife out of its scabbard. He had it custom made for a _serious_ occasion like this one, but he hoped he wouldn’t have to use this kind of blade again. "Get the remote, I'm helping them down."

Shin nods and without any further hesitation they both lunge forward. It's when Shin uses magic to slice up the man with the control that the crowd starts to shout and run all over, chaotically.

"...what?!" Artie shouts the instant Kaiman tackles him to the ground. The suit is heavy and sealed tight. _Why is he wearing this?_ Despite it, Artie moves pretty nimbly and manages to slip away and get back on his feet. "How did you get in here, you bastards?!" He steps back and climbs on the stage, next to the statues.

Kaiman slowly follows him. "You assumed too many things," he deadpans, walking towards him and then _past_ him, towards the statues, and cuts down the ropes holding Nikaido and Ebisu, the latter completely unconscious.

"...Kaiman?" Nikaido manages to mutter.

"I'm sorry I'm late, let's get you back home…" he tells her softly, carrying her up in his arms while Ebisu is slung over his shoulder.

The stadium has completely gone into chaos. Shin is single handedly facing dozens of militiamen without effort, body parts scattered on the ground in a circle around him. The rest of the attendees crowded next to the exit, blocking it.

"No…!" Artie lunges forward towards Kaiman, holding what looks like an electrified baton. His attacks are slow and predictable but they're hard to deflect when he's carrying the two girls, and on top of that, he’s starting to feel dizzy, the burning pain in his lungs intensifying in waves. He moves slowly away from the stage and the statues, hoping for Nikaido to be able to wake up soon

He drops the two on the bleachers, turning around to face Artie properly. “Why?” He asks him. “Why did you feel the need to put up such a gruesome _show?”_

Artie doesn’t reply and lunges forward, swinging the baton in loose but quick attacks. Sparks fly between the electrified weapon and the blade of Kaiman’s knife as they clash. He’s backing away, leading him back to the statues, maybe not realizing he’s not affected. _He’s not too bad._ “Doesn’t that armor get in your way? Why don’t you take it off?”

“It’s none of your business,” he growls.

A loud metallic noise echoes in the stadium. For a moment Kaiman thinks the fireworks have been lit, but it’s not the case: the metallic door behind the stage has a large dent on it. In a few seconds and after a few more bangs it finally comes crashing down.

“Gyyyy!” Johnson announces, launching himself against the guards that had started to crowd around the door.

“What the _fuck_ is that?!” Artie shouts as the giant cockroach heads towards the stage and starts tearing down the statues. His eyes stop on the pile of cut up corpses and the few militiamen still standing, backing away slowly from Shin’s figure, covered in blood.

“A friend!” Kaiman laughs, closing the distance between them and blocking him against the stage’s supports. “Look, you’re in a disadvantage here. If you don’t want to end up like those soldiers there, I suggest you give this up.” 

He’s quiet for a long time, before speaking. “They’ll come back.” He says quietly.

Kaiman cocks his head, confused.

“People who kill indiscriminately. The ones in this city got _cocky_ after what happened last year, with those new weapons...they needed to be taught a _lesson…”_ he starts laughing. “Who knew it would end this _well?”_

“Eh?” Kaiman feels a shiver up his spine. He looks up at Shin, who’s standing in front of the cages now, then at the crowd trying to escape - _why can’t they get out? They should’ve gotten out by now._

The pain is getting unbearable, it’s like a bug crawling and digging into his flesh, deep inside his veins. He lowers his guard long enough for Artie to hit him in the stomach with the baton. It’s more than just a slight tingle running underneath his skin. It’s as though someone has attached a live wire to each of his nerves, and his body convulses as the violent electrical current pulses through him.

And then something _clicks_ into place, like the last piece of a puzzle. When it's over, relief washes over him like a warm weighted blanket. He’s down on the ground, almost paralyzed by the weird feeling enveloping his body. The man in the diving suit is towering over him. “I was going to ignore you, since the rumors said you’d become a sympathizer, but you had to _ruin everything_ for the sake of two stupid girls,” he leans and rips the mask off his face. “So, I’ll be taking my revenge on you too,” she drops it on the ground. “Kaiman. _Sorcerer Killer.”_

-

 **Shin** isn’t used to fighting alone. Without Noi around, injuries pile up and draw his energy quickly, but he doesn’t stop taking down the militiamen, one after the other. It’s almost _nostalgic,_ almost _fun,_ and he finds himself grinning after a while. He doesn’t spare those who charge at him but doesn’t pursue those who try to escape this time: he’s not seeking bloodshed this time, just teaching them a lesson. Nipping the bud before it grows.

When he realizes no one else is attacking him, he’s surrounded by body parts and corpses, his clothes covered in blood sprays. Panting, he walks away, stepping with no hesitation on those who are still twitching. _Where’s Kaiman?_ Shin looks up and sees him holding his ground against Artie, carrying Nikaido and Ebisu on his shoulders. _I’ll leave that to him._ He heads to the cages and pulls the cloth covering it to the ground.

 _Figures, since Ebisu was here._ Fujita shouts something muffled through the tape on his face, his hands and feet are also tied up, but he still tries to stand up, looking at Shin with such relief and happiness it makes Shin almost feel bad for him.

“What are you doing here?” Shin groans, using his magic to cut the bars of the cage and removing his ties. There’s another figure curled up in a corner of the cage that Shin recognizes as Tetsujo. “Mh? Where’s the other Cross-Eye?”

Tetsujo doesn’t answer even when Shin removes the tape, he just keeps hugging his knees in a corner of the cage. “He was…”

“Mr. Shin, that woman isn’t who she says she is! She’s a Sorcerer, but I don’t know why she’s doing this but it has something to do with her family!” Fujita’s words rush out of his mouth in a blur.

“Wait, wha- what woman?” Shin looks at him in confusion.

“The one in the metal suit,” Tetsujo says quietly, words seething with rage. “She turned Dokuga into a glass statue, I don’t even know if he’s still-” the rest of the sentence is interrupted by the sudden explosion. Shin rushes out of the cage, followed by Fujita.

The stage and the Holey statues are on fire, a large plume of smoke and burning ashes rises into the night sky. The man - woman? - in the diving suit stands amongst the corpses Shin left on the ground, panting. She holds the remote control in her hand and presses the button on it frantically. “Why isn’t it working?” She hisses.

“If you’re wondering about the explosives beneath the stadium, at the moment a friend is teleporting them _very far away_ from here,” a familiar voice says and Shin looks up to see Curse, perched on one of the lamps like some uncanny bird. He jumps down, letting the transformation dispel and looks at the group. “Where’s Dokuga?” he asks after a glance. _“Where’s Kaiman?”_

Before any of them can answer, Johnson jumps out of the fire enveloping the stage, attempting to tackle the woman down. From an opening in the helm, she blows a large cloud of Smoke at him and the mutant is frozen in mid-air, carapace turning to cold glass, and crashes down, legs and parts breaking with the impact.

Artie- if that’s even her real name, probably not - looks at the group of Sorcerers, opening her arms. “It was _perfect!”_ She shouts at them angrily. “I was going to rid Hole of all the bastards who would _have fun_ seeing us burned!” She points at Shin. “You! You should know this better than I do,” she laughs. “Oh, yes, I know who you are. Thanks to you Hole became a much safer place, only if you could’ve been _faster-”_

“I didn’t do it for _pleasure_ or fun!” Shin growls at her. “Don’t group me with the likes of you, who’d slaughter innocents only because they showed up at a poorly named festival.”

She’s approaching, slowly but constantly. They have to do something before they’re in her magic’s range: she’s strong, an _elite_ even, so it’s all a matter of who’s faster.

Tetsujo slowly picks up a broken steel pipe from the ground, holding it like a sword.

“Stay back,” Shin tells him. “Risu, keep an eye on them.”

Risu nods and pulls both Fujita and Tetsujo behind him, pushing them towards the exit.

“Kill me,” she laughs, “and that other friend of yours dies as well. Shattered statues will become _corpses_ if they’re not fixed beforehand.”

Shin smiles. “Which means that if we fix them, they’re going to be alright. Good to know.” He sees a shadow, partially concealed by the fire and crumbling stage, rise up and walk up to Artie from her blind spot.

_Close enough so she doesn’t see him._

_Far enough so her Smoke won’t reach us._

The wind starts to blow the smoke and ashes in their direction, making their eyes tear up. Artie notices this and without warning she starts to _run._ Shin casts his magic on her, just as she stops on her feet all of a sudden. The armor is cut open like a can of sardines, crumbling to the ground.

_Empty._

A smaller silhouette emerges from the shadow, launching herself towards Shin with a small black weapon. Her eyes are bloodshot and there’s Smoke seeping through her clenched teeth, but just as she is about to hit him in the opening she created, she’s grabbed by the hair and pulled back, the weapon drops to the ground, still clenched in her severed hand.

“Kaiman-” Shin smiles with relief before the wind changes direction and blows away the cover of smoke, revealing a chilling sight.

As he holds her up in the air, face uncovered and eyes uncannily _cold,_ the long knife pressed against her throat, Shin realizes whose _image_ he is standing in front of with frightening clarity.

And he’s not the only one.

Shin can easily imagine what goes through Tetsujo’s head when he charges forward, screaming, face twisted in fear and anger, and plunges the sharp, broken end of the steel pipe in _Kaiman’s_ stomach.

The illusion is shattered. Kaiman gasps, a guttural choke escaping his lips together with a sudden flow of blood. He lets both the girl and the knife fall as he looks down at Tetsujo in shock. Tetsujo seems to hesitate a moment, but that’s when Artie gets back on her feet and pushes him away, grabbing the steel beam with her remaining hand and pushing it all the way into Kaiman’s back.

“No!” Shin grabs her and throws her on the ground, _too late._

Kaiman falls to his knees, trying to pull out the metal rod firmly lodged in his midsection, succeeding only in making more dark blood gush out of the wound and out of the tube’s extremities

Artie clutches her stump but starts laughing hysterically. “Gotcha…” she hisses, trying to crawl away but with a sudden movement Kaiman grabs her again, Smoke flowing out of his shaking fingertips and crawling around his hand and her head like a black flame or a nest of snakes. As Shin watches in shock, Artie screams and thrashes around for a couple of seconds as the Smoke enters her eyes, nostrils and ears, before going limp and only then Kaiman lets her go, squeezing his eyes in pain.

Tetsujo is still panting, watching the scene, wide eyed in confusion, he’s too unpredictable to let him go. Fujita looks similarly terrified but is frozen on the spot.

Risu’s expression is hidden by Curse’s skeletal mask, but he’s staring in silence too.

“Can’t help but feel like I should’ve seen that coming,” Kaiman’s weak smile is what really breaks the tension.

“Eh?” Tetsujo says when Shin lets him go, kneeling in front of Kaiman, hands hovering over the wound like he doesn’t know what to do with them.

“W-we have to take you to Noi, she’s-”

“Magic doesn’t work on me, remember?” He coughs more blood.

Shin shakes his head. _Of course._ But he's not thinking straight. “You heal, though! You- if we can’t remove that…” he tentatively touches the steel beam. With his magic he can cut it in the middle and make it easier to extract. “Risu, help me!”

"I- I don't-"

The fire is spreading, enveloping the bleachers, stalls and shops fueling the flames.

Kaiman’s hand grabs Shin’s wrist. “Don’t- get them all out of here, first. Nikaido’s-”

“Stop being dramatic!” Shin bursts out and with only a little effort, lifts him up with one arm around his shoulders. “We’re all getting out of there! You two,” he turns to Tetsujo and Fujita, “go grab the girls and _run!”_

“I’ll take the bastard, I guess,” Risu picks up Artie from the ground, “and the cockroach, if there’s anything left of it by now.”

Shin nods and once he’s sure everyone’s actually following his orders, starts dragging Kaiman towards the exit, away from the fire. He kicks down the door and they’re finally outside, where a small crowd has started gathering, seeing the plume of smoke. Shin lays down Kaiman on the asphalt, lying on his side, his eyes are wide open and he’s taking quick and sharp breaths. “I think I left my mask inside…” he gasps.

“Shut up,” Shin never had to do something this delicate with his magic. After taking off his hoodie, he uses the smallest amount of Smoke to cut the steel beam cleanly in the middle and pulls it out with one sharp movement. Blood flows copious for a moment, before Shin presses the fabric, crumpled in a ball, against the wound to stop it from pouring out.

Kaiman doesn't even wince in pain. “You might have to save your strength...I don’t think I can walk back home…”

Shin pulls out the rest of the pipe from his back, tossing it away before turning Kaiman around so he’s lying on his back when the rest of the group arrives.

Nikaido’s the first to run at his side, one quick glance is enough for her expression to twist into horror. “Who did this…?”

“That Artie bastard,” Shin says quickly and without hesitation. He’s going to have a _talk_ with Tetsujo later but he doesn’t want to put him in a bad situation. “Find Dokuga, make the girl reverse her magic and get somewhere safe!” He tells Risu. “You two go home,” he turns towards Fujita. “And _no fucking word_ of this to En or anyone!”

Fujita nods quickly, opening a Door back to the Sorcerers’ World and leaving, carrying an unconscious Ebisu on his back.

“Hey, Nikaido…” Kaiman’s head turns towards her. “You got out…”

She gives him a shaky smile.

Shin can’t really see if he’s healing on his own, while keeping the wound covered, but the pool of blood that is growing under him doesn’t promise anything good. His breathing seems to slow down and he closes his eyes, before reopening them suddenly, looking around in apparent confusion.

“Shin?” He calls. “You might want to save your strength, I don’t think...I can walk back home…” His fingers are shaking as he reaches for Shin’s hand.

Shin can’t speak. _This isn’t right. This can’t be how-_

There’s a sudden movement of the air around them and people start shouting as a huge shadow looms over the three of them. Haru flaps her wings and closes them, silently watching them, the scorched remains of a mask in her hand.

**“So, I guess nobody won, in the end. Boring.”**

Shin's head snaps up. “What the hell are you talking about?!”

 **“We made a bet whether he’d choose to live as a Sorcerer or a Human in the end. I should’ve imagined he would die foolishly like this, what a shame. Oh, this gives me an idea for a song!”** She grabs her own tail, tip transformed into a microphone and takes a breath to start singing.

Shin’s on his feet before he can think about it and _slaps_ the microphone out of her hands. _Going against a Devil, I must be going insane._ She looks down in total contempt and twisted amusement. “Heal him.”

**“Nah, I’ll get to torture him in Hell, anyway.”**

“Shin, don’t-” Nikaido pulls his sleeve, alarmed.

He ignores her. “Heal him.” He repeats, more forcefully. “After all you’ve done to him, don’t you _care?!”_ He finds himself shouting at this point. “Isn’t he your son?!”

He’s _slammed_ against the wall, on the opposite side of the road, before he can even register the movement of Haru’s arm. **“Watch your mouth, mortal. And consider yourself lucky I’m not ripping your tongue off.”**

Shin groans, feeling broken ribs puncturing his lungs, but doesn’t let the pain discourage him as he grits his teeth and starts walking back towards Haru, holding his side. “Heal-”

Nikaido is by his side in a moment, helping him standing up but at the same time blocking his way. “Stop it,” she says, quietly, her eyes wide in alarm. “You don’t want to mess with her-”

“She has to help him! She caused all this mess in the first place…!”

**“Don’t give me credit for what I didn’t do. And listen to the girl, I’m not going to help or anything.”**

“Then _why_ are you here?!” Shin shouts, almost hurting his throat.

“Shin, enough!” Nikaido calls. “She doesn’t care about Kaiman, even if she’s…” he sees a quick succession of emotion chase each other in her face as she processes what she’s heard. “Anyway, she doesn’t care. She killed him once before without qualms, in front of me.”

Shin looks down at her in confusion.

**“What the hell are you talking about?”**

Nikaido turns towards Haru, her expression hard. “It might not have happened in this timeline, but _I remember._ You can read my mind, right?” She closes the distance between them. “Do it.”

Haru slowly lifts a clawed hand to hold Nikaido’s entire head in her palm and the two stay quiet like that for a long time, before Haru lets her go.

 **“Stupid, perfect body of mine...”** Haru says flatly, as if quoting someone’s words. **“When Store’s Knife disappeared Haze was…”**

Shin has never seen a Devil falter or doubt, so the sight is pretty shocking even for him.

 **“I see…”** Haru looks down at Kaiman. **“So I** **_do_ ** **care.** **_Disgraceful._ ** **I still have a lot to learn…”** She walks past Nikaido.

Shin runs towards them, but Nikaido blocks him from approaching Haru, while keeping her eyes on her, afraid one more word will break the tension.

**“What the hell, I’ve lost the bet already…”**

It’s impossible to say whether Kaiman has already lost consciousness or not, but he doesn’t respond when Haru lifts his head surprisingly gently, laying another palm on the open wound. There’s no sound or Smoke coming out but in a matter of seconds his injuries have completely vanished, his breathing returns to normal even though he doesn’t wake up.

Haru lets him go and stands up. **“And now I have no more regrets, past or future. See y’all in Hell.”** She spreads her wings and takes off, quickly disappearing in the column of smoke obscuring the night sky.

-

_Can I live with it?_

_Can_ they?

Tetsujo’s eyes are scorched in his mind’s eye, that terror and fury not unlike the one he saw when he’d found Ton’s body being-

_He deserves this._

And even while he knows Shin and Nikaido are doing their best to save him, part of him has already accepted that this is _it._ He’s going to die, and it does bring him a little satisfaction that he’s going to die as a Sorcerer. If he’s lucky, he’ll see the people he cares about in Hell.

 _Risu’s going to be so annoyed he didn’t get to_ personally _drag me there._

Dying is almost familiar, almost nostalgic. He sinks into himself until every feeling, color, noise from the outside world has completely faded away. Even the pain that was so agonizing up to moments later, is now gone.

It’s different than sinking into water, it’s more like floating, enveloped by warm sheets, lying on a comfortable mattress. The air smells like cigarette smoke and cleaning products and there’s a low periodic rumbling noise, like someone snoring.

 **Kaiman** opens his eyes. If this is Hell, Devils have a really lame sense of humor.

It’s still dark outside, he can see the night sky from the window. The room is empty save for Shin, who’s fallen asleep in a chair, arms crossed, head tilted sideways, mouth slightly open with a thin line of drool.

Kaiman sits up and looks around before looking down at himself: there’s no trace of the wound Tetsujo and that woman inflicted on him, but there’s definitely a hole in his jacket that proves his memory isn’t betraying him.

 _So, I didn’t die._ He looks up at Shin, steps down the bed and walks up to him, shivering a moment as he steps barefoot on the cold tiles of the hospital room. He hesitates a moment before shaking Shin gently to wake him up.

Shin blinks slowly and looks up at him like he’s seen a ghost, before launching his arms around his neck almost desperately.

“Woah, what got into you!” Kaiman flails his arms for a moment, almost thrown off balance. He doesn’t need to see himself to know he’s bright red, bewildered by his reaction.

Shin’s hands grip tightly Kaiman’s back as he buries his face in his chest.

“He- hey,” he tentatively hugs him back. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Shin sighs and pulls back. He looks away and coughs, seemingly pretty embarrassed himself by his own reaction. “I was just-”

“...being a huge dork?” He grins, letting himself fall back on the mattress. “Man, I really thought I was done for, there,” he looks down at the floor. “Guess this stupid body of mine was useful in the end.”

Shin frowns. “You don’t-” he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m glad you’re ok.”

“Yeah,” Kaiman grins. “Actually, I feel _great._ My head has stopped hurting too, so I guess I won’t need that stupid mask anymore either!”

Shin looks at him right in the eye, silently.

“So, is everybody else alright?”

Shin nods slowly. “Nikaido is in her own room, recovering. Tetsujo and Risu went to look for Dokuga but I haven’t heard from them yet,” he frowns as he mentions Tetsujo, as if to gauge Kaiman’s reaction.

Kaiman shrugs. “It’s fine, I should’ve been more careful. I had a feeling he would do something like that when he saw me.”

“You could’ve warned me,” Shin lets out a short laugh of disbelief. “Risu was predictable, I didn’t think that Cross-Eye…” he coughs, “that _Tetsujo_ had it in him.”

 _He’s seen me kill his best friends. Well, at that point there wasn’t much of_ me _left anymore, but still…_ “He’s been through a lot, you should cut him some slack.”

“Anyone else I should be on the lookout for?” He sighs. “That will want to kill you on sight?”

“So dramatic,” he laughs. “Well, En for one. But I’ll steer away from him. I think I can deal with everyone else.” He closes his eyes and passes a thumb over them, with a small smile. “I was annoyed having these again, at first, I used to hate them so much, but they’re _mine_ too.”

“Yours?” Shin asks, not without a hint of irony in his voice.

He nods. “It’s _my_ face too, it’s time I play the hand that’s been dealt to me, instead of running away like usual, although,” he groans, letting himself fall backwards, facing the ceiling, “it would be nice. Just having to live without having to worry about En, Hole or any of this bullshit. Just the two of us, somewhere remote, maybe, in the hills near Zagan…”

Kaiman sits up to see Shin absolutely _appalled_ and blushing up to the tip of his ears. “Are you...serious?”

“Maybe,” he gives him a coy smile, “one day. Maybe in the next couple of years?”

It’s unspoken, but Shin gets the hint anyway. The next Blue Night.

“...if I change my mind,” Kaiman concludes, pushing the brakes on that fantasy for the time being. Becoming Shin’s partner implies a series of consequences to deal with he doesn’t really want to think about now, but the idea gives him butterflies in his stomach.

Shin is about to reply when a loud bang announces the room’s window being slammed open from the outside.

 _Curse-_ no, Risu jumps in, eyes wide with an expression that does not bode well at all. “Kaiman…” he hisses, without even dispelling the transformation. “What the _fuck_ did you do?!”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Kaiman gives him a confused look. “I mean, how far back do you want me to go-”

“The girl!” Risu cuts him off. “She can’t use magic anymore! What did you _do?!”_

Shin’s mouth opens wide in abject horror.

Kaiman looks between the two of them with a similar expression of shock. He remembers having used magic on her, but not wanting it to affect anyone else around him. He barely remembers it acting different than the other times, enveloping his arms instead of pouring out like heavy mist, but he didn’t think the effect would actually be _different._

“Well, fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, a sort of epilogue. We're almost at the end. PLEASE, review! I want to know what you think of this story!


	11. Choice/Change - part 1

_ A strong wind picked up as the sun went down and it hasn't stopped since.  _ **_Ai_ ** _ doesn't mind, the air is a little bit cleaner thanks to it, and he can even see the stars clearly. He can count the times he saw a starry sky on the fingers of one hand. _

_ He hears huffing and complaining as Shin finds his way to the clinic's rooftop, fighting against the wind. Ai shoots him an amused smirk as he sees him struggle not to fall. _

_ "What are you doing here? I was looking for you at home!" He exclaims when he reaches his side, one hand casually grabbing Ai's to avoid losing his balance. _

_ Ai points up. "Enjoying the view." _

_ Shin looks up, Ai can't help but grin when he sees his face light up in surprise. He slowly sits down next to him, eyes still pointed upwards. "I hadn't noticed…" _

_ The air is chilly and sharp, it's without a second thought that they end up snuggling against each other in an attempt to keep warm. _

_ "I saw a couple of Sorcerers today, they'd come to Hole to practice," Ai explains. He'd followed them to their Door, even managing to touch it before it disappeared completely. _

_ "You should be more careful!" Shin's head snaps in his direction. _

_ "All the Doors I've seen look different, I wonder if every Sorcerer has his own…" he ignores him. "I wonder what mine would look like." _

_ Shin sighs or maybe it's a shiver. "Probably something dull or depressing, like you." _

_ Ai glares at him, but it's clear from Shin's smile he's joking. "When I become a Sorcerer, I'll be someone entirely different." _

_ Shin looks up at him with a puzzled expression. "Why?" _

_ "I have to. I can't leave this place if I can't change."  _ I can't leave you.  _ It's the unspoken thought. _

_ Shin is quiet for a moment. "I don't want you to change," he mumbles. "You don't need to." _

_ "But I want to be someone who goes along with others," Ai admits. "Someone popular, with lots of friends." _

_ "I am your friend," Shin scoffs. _

_ "You're the only one who's stupid enough to be friends with  _ me."  _ He stresses the last word. _

_ "Well, you're my only friend too, I'm not sure I want to fight others for your attention." Shin grins, sounding only half serious. _

_ Ai smiles and shoves him away, before falling quiet again. "Do you think the stars look the same?" He murmurs after a while, once his eyelids get too heavy to keep looking at the sky. _

_ "Mh?" _

_ "In the Sorcerers' world. The doctor said the Moon is the same, does it mean that that world is actually somewhere  _ else  _ on this planet, or maybe it just looks the same but it's a different one? If it looks the same but it's different, is it still right to call it with the same name?" his words get lost in a murmur as sleepiness takes over him. He's barely conscious when Shin lifts him up and carries him downstairs. _

-

"We're here."

**Kaiman** jolts, Shin's hand tapping on his shoulder as he and Risu step out of Vaux's van.

"I dozed off…" he groans, passing a hand over his face as he follows them outside. They're parked in front of an empty construction site, eerily quiet and dark except from a few lights coming from a storage building nearby.

"I noticed," Shin gives him a fond smile, before they head inside the building.

Kaiman is too well aware of the way Risu has been silently staring at him. He walks in the front, occasionally glancing behind his back at him, to meet narrowed eyes and a scowl. Risu only steps in front of them when they reach a large door, that he opens with no hesitation.

"I brought them," he announces, stepping in.

The first thing Kaiman notices is Johnson's glass form, broken pieces kept together by tape, lying on his back at the center of the room. The other glass statue that immediately gets his attention, with a sharp feeling of guilt, is Dokuga. The clothes are intact, only the body has been transmuted by magic. His features, frozen in surprise, are only revealed by the way the light in the room gets distorted by the glass.

A muffled scream gets his attention and he finally sees Artie, tied up and gagged, sitting on the floor at the opposite side of the room. She looks at him like a mouse in a trap, squirming and screaming to no avail.

Next to her stands Tetsujo, holding a sword in his hands, probably taken from the large collection of white weapons in the corner, wary and cautious as he looks at the three of them like he doesn't know how to act.

"Are you ok?" Kaiman asks him before he realizes neither of them probably expected to see him alive and healthy so soon.

Tetsujo doesn't answer, only gripping tighter the sword handle, even though his eyes light up in surprise.

"Leave it, he hasn't said a word since the stadium," Risu sighs, then points to Artie. "So, can you reverse what you did to her?"

The girl suddenly stops screaming, looking at Risu like he's lost his mind.

"Reverse?!" Kaiman makes a similar expression. "I don't even know what the fuck I did!"

He knows, most Sorcerers can reverse the effects of their own magic, that doesn't mean everyone  _ can  _ do it. He knows Shin never learned to, being able to rely on Noi for that.  _ He _ certainly can't, seeing as he cast it only  _ once  _ and while he was half-dead, and he certainly isn't looking forward to try it out again.

"Can't we just kill her and be done with it?" He blurts out without thinking, his hand already on the handle of a small knife he keeps hidden under his jacket.

That's when Tetsujo steps forward and extends his arm to block the way in front of Artie with his blade.

"She said the effects of her magic will stay if she dies," Risu explains, with a sigh. "She might be bluffing since she claimed the opposite early, but I thought best not to risk it, right?"

Tetsujo nods once.

"So what? We can probably fix them using Noi's or Chota's Smoke," Shin notes as he examines Dokuga. A thin strand of glass hair breaks under his touch as Shin passes a hand on Dokuga' head. "Whoops."

"Step away from him!" Tetsujo finally speaks, pointing the sword at Shin. "This would've never happened if not for you!"

Shin looks at him, unimpressed, but steps back from the statues anyway. "I know where Noi stores her Smoke, if you want to get rid of the girl."

Kaiman nods.

Realizing she lost her advantage, the girl starts screaming again. Hard to say with the gag, but it sounds like she's sending a string of curses their way. Kaiman walks up to her, slowly, weapon drawn, aware everyone's eyes are on him. He squats in front of her, staring in her wide, terrified eyes as he raises the blade and cuts the fabric keeping her gagged. It's not a clean job and the blade is sharp, leaving her with a thin bleeding cut on her cheek.

After a moment of surprise, she restarts insulting them like the worst port drunkard. When it's clear she's not going to stop, Kaiman lodges the knife in her mouth, threatening to slice her cheek up from the inside.

"Finally," he gives her a wry smile when she falls silent. "Now that it's clear we don't really need you anymore, why don't you answer us some questions?" Carefully, he slides the blade out of her mouth.

She tries to spit in his face, but he avoids it easily. "Do you think I don't know who you are?" She growls.

"That's the first question actually," he smiles innocently. "How did you know me?"

Surprisingly it's Tetsujo who answers. "She has files for all the people she considered recruiting in the Militia…all of those who showed a violent behaviour towards Sorcerers." He explains.

Kaiman looks up at him, trying to keep his expression neutral, but Tetsujo still flinches.  _ He’ll need time, I guess. _ "I see…"

"That's right," Artie chuckles.  _ "Sorcerer Killer.” _

She called him that at the stadium too. She doesn’t know how right she is with that nickname, but he doesn’t react.

"I decided to ignore you since you seemed to be leading a peaceful life, but you're still the same knife nut who'd go around Hole cutting apart everyone who could emit a little bit of Smoke…"

Kaiman does his best not to let emotions show on his face.  _ It's much harder without a mask. _

"I thought you were a sympathizer, but you're just teaming up with others who seek bloodshed, aren't you?!" She glares at Shin with the same grin. "How long until you plant a knife in  _ his _ throat?"

Anger builds up like steam, burning on its way out. He grabs the girl's neck and lifts her up, slamming her against the wall. He can see her neck snapping in his mind and it feels  _ good. _

"Ah- Kaiman! Stop!" Shin calls, alarmed, rushing by his side.

"A word of warning," he growls at the girl, ignoring him. "I'm rather  _ pissed off  _ right now, you'll better choose your next words  _ carefully." _

"Fuck...off…" she chokes, glaring at him with a defiant attitude, "...you damn...murderer…"

Her lips are already turning blue when Shin grabs his arm and Kaiman lets her go and she slumps on the floor, coughing and gasping for air. He feels Shin's hand on his wrist, cold, and realizes he's breathing heavily too. This anger, this  _ hate,  _ burning in his veins, it' familiar. He knows it.

_ It doesn't belong to me. _

Closing his eyes, he forces himself to take deep breaths and calm down. When he looks at the girl again it's  _ pity,  _ not anger, that he feels more strongly towards her, that he focuses on.

"One last chance. Why did you do this?" He kneels to be eye-level with her. "With that power of yours, and the info you collected, it would've been easy to just eliminate the people you didn't like. Why the need to put up that...farce?"

She hesitates, looking at Shin. "Because  _ he  _ did that,” she explains, as if talking to a child. “And in the long run? It changed  _ nothing! _ People like  _ you _ will always return," she grits her teeth. "Especially if their predecessors  _ just  _ died: they will be martyrs. No, humans needed to be  _ scared,  _ so that something like that doesn't happen again."

Kaiman stands up, rubbing his eyes. "Fuck, I  _ really  _ wanna kill her."

"Then do it, just try not to make a show out of it," Shin says quietly, with a sigh. "Those two are still on edge."

"I know…" It sends his stomach twisting in a painful way.

"If things don't change…"

Kaiman turns around, to look at Risu, who's been listening quietly. He's frowning, arms crossed, as he speaks quietly. "If things don't change, history's just going to repeat itself."

Kaiman knows what he's talking about, and now he knows he's right. That thing,  _ Hole, _ it still exists, its rage still burns inside of him. It  _ will  _ come back one day.

_ Unless they change things. _

“I wanna try something.” With a quick movement, Kaiman picks up the girl, who kicks and shouts but he ignores her, slinging her over his shoulder. “Shin, can you go get Noi or a bottle of her smoke?”

“You decided not to kill her, then?” Risu raises an eyebrow at him.

Kaiman frowns, then shakes his head. Shin nods and summons his Door to leave. “You wanna come with? I can drop you just outside the mansion.”

“Nah,” Kaiman waves his hand with a thin lipped smile. “Not without a mask. Don't wanna risk it. Besides, I already have a destination in mind…” he grins, smoke whirling around his hand and flowing dense on the floor to coalesce in his own Door, under Risu’s and Tetsujo’s shocked eyes. “I can do this too, now. Remember?”

Shin smiles. “I remember...”

Risu is gaping like a fish out of water. "You- wha- Since when you can do that?!" He screams, and Kaiman grins smugly at him.

“I’ll see you later?” Shin asks. It reminds him of a nostalgic promise they haven't exchanged in a while.

“I’ll be at the hospital,” Kaiman nods, “I wanna check on Nikaido. You take the car and bring these two home when they’re back to normal.”

"You're not coming back here?" Risu frowns.

Kaiman freezes as he clasps the handle of his Door. "I'd rather...not be here when he wakes up," he glances at Dokuga.

Risu makes a noise of complaint. "Come on, that's the whole reason I came along!" He crosses his arms. Tetsujo rolls his eyes.

Kaiman can't help but smile at that. "You're starting to sound like Asu.”

"What did you say?!"

"Come back," Tetsujo's voice makes them both fall silent. He's still staring at Kaiman but he's not as hostile as before. "Look, he did this because of  _ you, _ the least you could do is not disappear," he says coldly,  _ "this time." _

Kaiman grumbles something under his breath. He's not looking forward to having to explain himself in front of Dokuga's helpless puppy eyes, but Tetsujo's right. He put himself in danger because of him, the least he can do is take responsibility.

Nikaido is going to kill him when she learns he put the two of them at risk, anyway. He can delay  _ that _ explanation, too.

"Alright," he looks at Shin. "See you later, then."

Shin smiles and tucks his glasses in his pocket before slipping on his mask. "Be right back," he nods before he disappears behind his own Door.

"Be right back," Kaiman echoes him before disappearing into the other side. They're in the middle of a forest, weeds and grass are growing lush on the ruins of a burned house. It's the first place he could think of there would be no people, he finally lets Artie go unceremoniously. She's quiet, staring at him in puzzled interest as he unties her.

"You're a  _ Sorcerer," _ she says, her voice dripping with incredulity and betrayal.

Something inside of him  _ stirs _ when he hears those words. He smiles. "Half ‘n half, actually" it slips out of his mouth surprisingly naturally, even though it still feels wrong to admit. Still tastes bittersweet on his tongue.

"That's why you could stand so close to the effigies…" she barks out a dry laugh.

The reason is another, but he doesn't correct her misunderstanding. "Me and Shin are both half human," he says, realizing it for the first time. Oh, what a coincidence they'd found each other all that time ago. Or maybe it was no coincidence at all.

When she's completely untied, she bolts on her feet, looking around. He trusts she won't escape, not in such a new and unknown environment. "Where are we?"

"Hydra Forest, couple hours away from the Capital, in the Sorcerers' world…"

Her surprise quickly melts into fury. "Did you think you were doing me a favor by bringing me here?! This is not my world!"

He knows. From her motive, from her personal things, from her accent and her behaviour. "You were born in Hole..."

"Born and raised," she throws him a crooked smile. "See why I was so vehement on clearing the  _ scum  _ out of it?!"

Kaiman stares down at her. "I can't let you return, not after you've done. I don't know how to give you your magic back, either." He steps towards the ruins. "A couple hours walk in that direction and you should be out," he points to a path in the woods. "How you live from now on, that's on you."

"Fuck you," she snarls. "You're not doing this out of pity, you're just trying to make  _ yourself _ feel better!"

Her words don't hurt as much as they should. They still take him by surprise.  _ Just like Haru with me. _ He sighs. "Yeah, that's right. The alternative is killing you and believe me, I'd  _ love to."  _ He whips out the knife again and presses it against her throat. "So, you'll better run. If I find you in Hole again, I won't give you a second chance."

Artie steps back, glaring at him one last time before making a run for the woods.

"Well, now," Kaiman looks at the remains of the house one last time, before summoning his Door again. He doesn't like his new magic, but serotonin floods his nucleus accumbens every time he uses it. And Risu's face when he saw the Door? Priceless.

-

**Dokuga** is awake.

He can’t move, speak or see. The silence is deafening, he can’t even hear his heart beating, there’s no air rushing in his lungs and no rumbling in his ears. It’s terrifying, it’s  _ lonely,  _ it’s worse than any punishment in Hell he’s visualized for himself.

And yet, in some way, he’s glad. Some part of him thinks this is what he deserved, what he deserved for surviving in the place of people who shouldn’t have died.

He can’t even sleep, he counts the seconds, he screams in his head, he thinks of his friends.  _ I hope Tetsujo is alright, I hope he’s not in this alone, he always cried when he was left alone. _

And then, what feels like ages later, he  _ feels _ something.  _ Warmth. _ It creeps down his spine and rushes to his heart. Light and sound flood his senses, overwhelming. He gasps for air, it burns his lungs as he collapses under his own weight. The feeling of rough fabric on his skin feels like a thousand needles piercing him, the electric lights burn like the sun, it’s  _ too much. _

He’s leaning against something warm,  _ someone _ warm. Someone’s arms around his frame as he shudders, taking quick breaths.

"...chiiiii!" A loud inhuman scream pierces his ears and his hands immediately go to cover them as he silently screams in pain.

"...something wrong with them!"

"...a side effect?"

"...can I?"

The arms around him tighten, protectively, seconds before a cold and big hand is laid on his forehead and another grabs his wrist. It's familiar and it helps him relax.  _ A familiar smell,  _ faint but distinct, calls for unpleasant memories but makes him strangely feel at ease. Dokuga feels his muscles relax as the explosion of sensations slowly becomes more bearable.

"...heartbeat is fast, temperature high, maybe it's just the shock. I'd have the Doc take a look at him, anyway…" a familiar voice says.

Dokuga slowly opens his eyes. Tetsujo's face is painted with concern, but he's not looking at him anymore, he's looking to his left, he's looking at…

Dokuga is suddenly  _ awake _ and yet he can't believe he's not dreaming. "...Boss!" He smiles.

"Ah, here we go…" Kaiman's gaze darts to him, just before he pulls the hood of his jacket over his face, covering his eyes and grimacing. “Are you alright?”

Dokuga nods eagerly. Realizing with a rush of shame he’s been  _ rescued. _ “I’m sorry, I messed up…”

Kaiman raises his hand and Dokuga winces automatically before realizing he was just going to pat his head. “Don't worry…” he says quietly. “If anything,  _ I’m _ sorry. I got you into this mess. It wasn’t an order, you didn't-”

“I know,” Dokuga cuts him off, wincing when he realizes he’s staring at him. “But I wanted you to know you could trust me…”

“Dokuga…” Tetsujo calls him, incredulous.

“...that you could depend on me!” Dokuga continues, raising his voice and using Tetsujo as a support to stand up on still wobbly legs.

Kaimant groans, dropping his head in his hands. Tetsujo also does something similar. “Fucking hell…”

“Seriously?” Another voice says and Dokuga is suddenly aware of the other people in the room and shudders. The one who spoke has a dreadfully familiar heart shaped mask on.  _ Shin. The Cleaner. Kaiman’s… _

Kaiman stands up and turns towards him. “Shut it. You said you’d shut up.”

Shin raises his arms in defeat, but if Risu’s amused smile is an indicator, the two of them aren’t done with mocking him. Dokuga doesn’t care, until he realizes what he’s seeing isn’t an illusion, that his image of the Boss isn’t being superimposed on Kaiman by the haze of exhaustion. That what he sees is… real.

“Ah! I think he just noticed,” Risu grins and Kaiman turns once again towards him.

Dokuga is vaguely aware he doesn’t have the most intelligent expression on his face at the moment but his brain has stopped being able to formulate a coherent thought. “Huh?!”

Kaiman winces and rubs his eyes - or tries to cover them - as he smiles bitterly. “Yeah, bit of an…  _ accident  _ in the Sorcerers’ world. I’m sorry,” he drops his hand but refuses to look at Dokuga and Tetsujo, “I know it brings back unpleasant memories, but I don't know what to do about it."

Dokuga shakes his head. It’s not unpleasant, although he can see in his expression that it is for Tetsujo, the only thing he feels is a warmth spreading in his chest and the underlying  _ guilt _ for feeling like that.

“Anyway,” Kaiman gives him a shaky but soft smile, “I’m glad you’re ok, but you should get checked out at the hospital anyway, it’s-”

Dokuga steps forward and, without really thinking about it, he leans against Kaiman’s chest and grabs his jacket. Kaiman’s arms flail around him like he’s not sure what to do with them. “Shut- shut up-” he stammers.

“Didn’t say anything,” comes Risu’s reply, sounding like he’s trying to stifle laughter.

Kaiman’s hands land on his shoulder and Dokuga’s grip tightens, sure he’s trying to push him away, but he just holds him awkwardly.

“Right, that’s enough,” Shin pushes the two apart just as Tetsujo grabs Dokuga’s arm to pull him backward. The Cleaner is looking at Kaiman with something akin to veiled hostility. No, not hostility.  _ Jealousy. _

“What?!” Kaiman exclaims at him.

“Car. Now.” Shin grabs Kaiman's arm and drags him towards the exit.

Risu looks at the two Cross-Eyes and gives them a thumbs up. “Absolutely entertaining, keep it up,” he grins maliciously, before following the other two outside.

They remain still in the empty room, together with the giant cockroach. "Dokuga…" Tetsujo looks at him with evident concern. “We need to  _ talk.” _

-

“What  _ was _ that?!”  **Shin** bursts out once they’re outside.

Kaiman shrugs, taking a sharp intake of breath through gritted teeth, while he takes off his jacket and tosses it on a pile of unopened crates. “Dokuga can be just a bit  _ clingy _ …I did say I didn't want to stay around.”

“Oh, can he?! How long has this been going on?!”

“How long has this…?” Kaiman pauses and blinks slowly, looking down at Shin like he’s sprouted antennas or something similar. “Wait, you don’t think-” his whole face turns red. “Fucking Hell, it’s not like that! It’s never been like that!”

“Never been, uh?” Shin narrows his eyes. “He’s a shitty fighter, I should’ve known you had another reason to keep him around…” he clicks his tongue, putting his hands in his pockets.

Kaiman just  _ stares,  _ an incredulous smile appearing on his lips. “Shin...are you...jealous?”

Shin blinks.  _ Jealous? Of a goddamn lowlife Cross-Eye?  _ The thought infuriates him, not as much as the realisation it might be true does. “What?!” he snaps.

Kaiman now has the biggest amused grin on his face. “Holy shit, you are!” He laughs, before pulling up Shin’s mask to kiss him.

Shin can barely react, absolutely confused and baffled.

“You’re such an idiot,” Kaiman giggles as he cups Shin's face in his hands and leans down slightly to press his forehead against his.

“...stop it,” Shin pouts, without any intention of really pulling back.

After a few seconds, Kaiman stops laughing and closes his eyes. "Dokuga is...he sees me as someone who gave his life meaning." He pulls back, shrugging. "Which does get on my nerves, to be honest, but I'm  _ trying  _ to make it up to them." He grimaces. "I've put them through a lot."

_ That wasn't you.  _ Shin bites his tongue before he can voice that thought. He knows now that not only it is false but it wouldn't be reassuring either. "They're perfectly capable of taking their own decisions, they didn't have to follow y- those orders."

It's at that moment that Risu catches up to them, still smiling from ear to ear.

"So, was it worth it?" Kaiman immediately steps back from Shin, glancing at him as Risu approaches.

"Yup, yup, very entertaining." Risu stops a few feet away. "Hey, heart guy, go pick up the cockroach. I don't think those two have the energy to."

Shin looks at Kaiman, who just gives him a quick nod. He's not sure leaving him alone with Risu is a good idea but at least he's not going to be far. He squeezes Kaiman's hand one last time before heading to the door.

He walks next to Risu and almost doesn't stop when he asks him, quietly. "Do you trust him?"

Shin stops in his tracks, looking at Risu even though his eyes are fixed on Kaiman, who's doing a very poor job pretending not to listen. "Absolutely. More than I trust you, anyway," he scoffs, before heading inside.

**Risu** follows Shin with his eyes until he's gone and only then turns around to face Kaiman again.

"Hey," he grins at him. Aikawa's smile, despite the Cross-Eyes on his face, sends a painful feeling in Risu's chest. "You could've helped too, what's up?"

Risu sighs. No, there's no point in getting worried about those details. He saw what Kaiman did to the girl, he knows now he could've done something similar to him anytime, and he didn't. Because he's not his enemy. Not  _ his _ enemy. "They seemed to have something to discuss," he shrugs. "I have to admit, I had no idea Dokuga had such a  _ cute  _ side to him."

"Yeah," Kaiman laughs and waves his hand. "He's just a bit drunk from the aftereffects of magic on him. He'll be back to normal soon, I hope." He pauses. "Are  _ you _ alright, Risu?"

Risu ponders those words. Is he? He can control his magic better than he ever could - the armor feels lighter ever since he learned how to - he's on the way to become a Devil for real, no shortcuts this time. But there's a question that is buzzing in his head and he knows he can't continue his training if he doesn't get an answer. "You're…" he starts slowly, his expression blank. "You're not Aikawa, are you?"

Kaiman blinks, looking confused.

"I know you have all his memories," Risu is quick to add. "But you're different, I can see that. And it's not just the kind of change I talked about while we were at your gramps'."

He's looking at him intently.  _ Another difference.  _ Aikawa would've already joked about it or changed the subject. He's noticed all those differences in the past year, but decided not to address them for the sake of keeping the peace in the group. He doesn't need to do that anymore.

"I can see Aikawa in you, but there's too many different things about you. He was you, but...you're not him."

Kaiman shrugs and smiles. "I think the opposite would be more accurate." He lets himself fall back on a pile of sandbags, shoulders relaxing as if a heavy weight has been lifted from them. "Back then, you knew  _ me _ , or rather you knew  _ a part of me.  _ A part coated in lies and secrets, nonetheless. Now I'm just...myself again, and maybe I've just  _ become _ myself up recently, but lately I've been feeling like I just became the person I was always supposed to be." He's looking up, almost melancholic, there's no doubt his defenses are down. He's smiling, a soft relaxed smile that Risu saw very rarely and used to treasure dearly. On one hand this confession of his reassures him, consolidates his  _ trust.  _ On the other, it's a  _ painful  _ proof that the person he considered his Partner is long  _ gone. _

Risu clenches his fists. Becoming a Devil also means to let go of attachments, doesn't it? "Makes sense," he says, trying not to make his voice shake. "Is that true for the Cross-Eyes Boss, as well?"

A shadow of fear passes over Kaiman's face and Risu knows his intuition was right. Kaiman's right hand twitches. Even the air suddenly feels colder. "What if that's the case?"

"Don't worry, I won't attack you again. I think you've had enough for today," Risu smirks, crossing his arms.

After a moment of stupor, Kaiman chuckles and the tension melts down instantly. "Yeah," he sighs, looking away. "I had."

Risu nods, giving up on receiving a straight answer. He doesn't care, not anymore. The air  _ is  _ colder, and the metal suit of armor isn't exactly doing an excellent job in keeping him warm. "Do me a favor," he waves his hand, trying to keep his tone of voice light, "open a Door and get me home, since you can do that. I've had enough of Hole and I need to continue my training."

Kaiman looks at him sadly but doesn't complain, standing up to walk towards him. "I don't know where that Devil lives, though."

"Just get me to my old apartment, I know how to get back to her from there." He looks at Kaiman, approaching slowly. A sharp wind is picking up and he looks at the sky again.

"Ah, it's going to rain," he notes quietly, before sighing and summoning his Door. He winces briefly just as it appears and quickly hides his right hand in his pocket.

Risu steps next to him to open the Door and hesitates a moment before turning around and smiling. "With the heart guy...with Shin, well...I hope things work out better than they did with me." He mutters.

Kaiman blinks a few times at him, a faint blush spreading to his cheeks. "Thanks…?"

Risu grins and opens the Door on a familiar landscape. "Good luck. And  _ visit  _ me sometimes, man! You have no excuses now!"

The Door closes behind Risu and  **Kaiman** takes a deep sigh, tension melting away. He leans against a steel beam and takes out his hand, observing the trickles of blood flowing out of the reopened scars.  _ Might’ve overused it. I’m still not used to this. _ He notes to himself as he sucks on the bleeding wounds until they close up, he can feel the grains of Smoke on his tongue. He vaguely remembers one of the teachers from Zagan saying Doors drain Smoke more quickly than one's natural magic, but never stopped to wonder why.

It's one of the things he  _ had _ to experience first hand, apparently.

He sees Shin approaching, carrying Johnson's dead weight on his shoulders almost effortlessly. He's being followed by Tetsujo, carrying an asleep Dokuga on his back. With a sigh, Kaiman recovers his jacket and heads towards the car.

-

No matter how many times she tells Vaux she's  _ fine,  _ **Nikaido** is still not allowed to leave the hospital. Something about blood levels and malnutrition and Kawajiri's "you'll just overwork yourself and get sick again".

They visit often: Kawajiri, Kaiman, and even Tetsujo came to see her a couple of times. But when she's alone, it's hard to fight boredom. She has a television and books, she keeps in shape with simple fitness exercises that don't affect her health too much. She looks out of the window at the rain that doesn't hurt anymore and wishes she could go outside and get soaked.

She's passively watching a quiz show on the tv, only paying half attention to it, when the door to her room is kicked open all of a sudden.

"Nikaido! I brought you dinner!"

A pleasant smell fills the room and Nikaido grins at Kaiman holding two plastic bags full of paper bento boxes. He sits down on the mattress next to her. "I thought you would have enough of hospital food, and we finished fixing the kitchen today, so I made you gyoza!" He hands her one of the boxes. "We can eat together."

Nikaido takes the box and the chopsticks. "How's the rebuilding going?"

Kaiman has already started eating his portion of dumplings. "The restaurant area is more or less alright, we still need a new refrigerator and the stairs to your apartment need fixing." He tells her, words muffled as he chews. "Don't worry, it'll be like new when you get out of here." He grins.

Nikaido chuckles and takes a bite. It's tasty and warm even if not piping hot anymore. "This is nostalgic," she notes. "Remember the last time you cooked gyoza for me while I was in the hospital?" It was raining back then, too.

Kaiman frowns, brows furrowed in thought. "When…?"

"After we went to the Sorcerers' world together for the first time," she takes another bite and laughs. "Those were terrible, though. You've really improved."

"I had the best teacher!" He laughs, finishing up the first box just to open a second one. Nikaido can see six of them in the bag.

"...is that  _ all _ for me?"

"And me too! I get to enjoy the fruits of my hard labour!" He pouts.

Nikaido chuckles and continues eating.

"I'm looking forward to the reopening of the Hungry Bug!" Kaiman announces. "Things have been shitty lately, I just want my life to go back to normal as soon as possible." He mumbles the last part almost to himself, if he wasn't sitting so close Nikaido wouldn't have been able to hear those words.

She puts down the chopsticks slowly. "I've been thinking…" she starts, not completely certain where she wants to go. "A lot of people in this city know I'm a Sorcerer now, and after what happened at the stadium...I can't imagine things going back to normal, easily."

Kaiman freezes in the act of bringing the chopsticks to his mouth, fear passes like a shadow over his face. "...no!"

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to reopen!" She quickly rectifies, before she sees the fear turn into panic, she had no idea the thought of the Hungry Bug closing down would scare him so much. "Just that...things will need to be different when the time comes."

Kaiman looks at her, confused at first, then thoughtful. It's not a look she's seen on him often. "Actually...on that note, I've been meaning to talk to you."

It's Nikaido's turn to be both worried and surprised. "About what?"

He puts down the half-empty bento box.

"Right,  _ now _ I'm getting worried." She eyes the uneaten gyoza suspiciously.

"I'm saving those for later!" He glares at her. "Look, I'm…" he looks away, clasping his hands together, and Nikaido swears she can almost see a faint blush on his cheeks.

"It's about Shin?"

His head shoots up, face suddenly bright red. "No! Yes! Damn it…" he passes a hand over his face.

Nikaido laughs. “You always get so embarrassed when you talk about him, it’s adorable.”

He glares at her. "Let's get things in order: I want to keep working with you at the 'Bug, and nothing's gonna change that."

Nikaido is relieved but it's obvious that is not the end of it.

"...I also...kind of really want to accept Shin's offer to become his Partner." He says that so quickly and so quietly Nikaido almost misses those words.

After a moment of silence she bursts out laughing.

"I'm serious here!" Kaiman looks at her, offended. "It's- do you think I don't realize it can never work?"

Nikaido smiles, confused. "...why? You're a full-fledged Sorcerer, now. I think you could sign a Contract if you wanted to."

Although Nikaido has been kept up to date with the recent events, they still haven't addressed the Haru  _ situation. _ Kaiman doesn't seem to know the Devil woman saved him and Nikaido hasn't found the chance to ask him about their…  _ relationship  _ yet.

Kaiman makes a weird face, like the thought bothers him. "It's not that, he's…" he takes a deep breath and looks towards the ceiling. "I could  _ never  _ work for En, not even under those circumstances. At the same time, I don't think Shin could see himself doing anything else but the kind of job he has now...and he  _ cares _ about the Family, more than he would admit. He wouldn’t leave it." He looks down with a somewhat bitter smile. “Not even for me.”

Nikaido is starting to understand. As long as they were just  _ visiting  _ each other, they could continue with their separate and very different lives without a care. A formal Partnership would mean to find a compromise. She wants to be a little more  _ selfish _ with that. "Yeah, I can't imagine him working with us in a million years."

Kaiman chuckles, probably at the mental image of Shin in an apron.

"I might...have an idea, though," she hesitates, "that might help with your dilemma as well."

Kaiman looks at her curiously.

"I've been thinking about it, recently...the Hungry Bug, especially during the past year, has been a place where Humans, Sorcerers and even Devils could meet peacefully and with  _ limited  _ conflict." Nikaido explains. “What if, when we reopen, make it  _ official?” _

Kaiman frowns. “...you can’t be serious. It’s one thing to have people we know over, but open to  _ anyone?  _ It’s a recipe for disaster!” He sighs. “Besides, only a very few Sorcerers can open Doors on their own and those who do wouldn’t want to mingle with Humans.”

“That’s why I was thinking of having a  _ permanent _ Door installed in the restaurant,” Nikaido announces, with a smile.

“What? Like Kasukabe’s?” He groans. “No one is going to like a gore Door in a restaurant.”

_ “En _ has the technology to build them,” she finally spills the beans and the toughest part of her idea. “If we can convince him.”

“Why En?!” He jumps on his feet, annoyed and more than a little bit crossed. “Wha-”

“Listen to me! I’ve lived at the Manor for a month: En only cares about three things…”

“Mushrooms. Himself...oh, and mushrooms.”

“...alright, four things. His public image, the wellbeing of his family, and the guarantee that Sorcerers aren’t killed, enslaved or exploited.”

Kaiman raises an eyebrow.

“And mushrooms,” she adds, to appease him.

“Doesn’t one of these things go against your plan? His image is going to be  _ ruined,”  _ he says in an exasperated tone, walking nervously around the room, “if he allows his own to mingle with humans.”

“That’s the thing, they already are.” She smirks. “The trick is making him think it’s his own idea! Thankfully, En’s not too smart, it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Kaiman shakes his head, he’s walking in circles now. “...how?”

Nikaido smiles. “I have a plan.” She gives him an apologetic look. “And if you help me, I’ll get you free gyoza for a month.”

He eyes her suspiciously, but definitely intrigued. “Continue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued. This chapter was really becoming TOO long.


	12. Choice/Change - part 2

**Kasukabe** finishes drawing the blood sample from the unconscious young Sorcerer in the hospital bed. Johnson twitches in his sleep on the floor, no bed frame was strong enough to support his weight.

It's interesting how both of them are displaying similar symptoms after being transformed into statues for so long. The simple fact that they survived while their bodies were in an inorganic state is terribly fascinating. He wishes he could get his hands on another of those glass statues and monitor it for brain activity but for now he'll have to make do with the two who recovered.

Dokuga groans in his sleep.  _ Maybe he's bothered by the rain,  _ he thinks, before realizing it's been a year since the rain stopped being harmful to Sorcerers. He wonders if he's dreaming.

He hears the door open slowly as he notes down some observations and files away the blood bag for later analysis. The silence is unnerving, especially since he knows there's someone else in the room, but he finishes writing down his thoughts before turning around.

"Ah, Kaiman," he immediately relaxes as he recognizes the visitor. He's got a plastic bag in his hand and is staring at him. "Heard the rebuilding is progressing nicely, what brings you here?"

"How are they?" His eyes move to Dokuga as he puts down the bag on the desk. There's a nice smell coming from it, it reminds Kasukabe of the Hungry Bug.

"Stationary. Is that food?" Kasukabe points at the bag.

Kaiman looks at it, then shrugs and drops it on the desk. "Help yourself." He says before slumping down heavily on a chair against the wall. His eyes scan the room.

Kasukabe fishes a full bento box from the bag and starts munching on half-cold gyoza gleefully. "You made these? Or did Nikaido's brother?"

"I did!" He pouts. "Asu's too busy lazing around to help. I had to threaten him to take away his magic if he kept giving us orders without pulling up his weight!"

Kasukabe feels a shaky smile form on his lips. "You still haven't given me the chance to study it. Your magic..."

Kaiman makes an annoyed face and throws back his head with a long groan. "...unpleasant. It's just fucking unpleasant. I just wanted my Gyoza Wand back, what did I do to deserve this?!"

_ Acted without thinking. Or maybe you were always drawn to That Thing and the situation couldn't have gone in any other way.  _ "Magic isn't known to change so radically, but Shin said sometimes Black Powder triggered mutations in the fumigant system. Yours might just be a more  _ drastic _ example of that same phenomenon."

"Did it?!" He looks down, interested. "I never cared much about Black Powder, it was just...waste."

"...or maybe it’s the inherent property of Holey’s magic that got superimposed to your own. I would've loved to study it in more detail," Kasukabe muses. He can only imagine what he could've learned from the lab in En's manor if he hadn't been reckless, back then.

There's another long silence. Kaiman scoffs and shakes his head. "You know,  _ that's  _ exactly what prompted me to try to kill you last time."

Kasukabe smiles. "I'm not mad at you." He repeats. They already had this conversation, they already dropped it.

"I'm glad I didn't manage to, though."

"I know."

Dokuga mumbles something unintelligible, the wind picks up in intensity, pushing the droplets of water onto the windows, forming a curtain of water that distorts the outside world.

"Ha- Haru told me," Kaiman looks outside, hands clasped tightly in his lap, words shaky. Kasukabe knows instantly what he’s talking about. "Who she is. Who you are. To me."

Kasukabe sighs and smiles. "And?" He looks at him. "How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know," is his quiet reply. "I really don't. How long have you known?"

"I had a hunch," he admits, continuing to eat. "But I really only got the confirmation just now, from you."

Kaiman glares at him. "Just so you know, this doesn't change anything in how I see you."

Kasukabe's smile is tinged with bitterness. He knows. He was never really a good example, or had any parenting instinct to begin with. And starting to act like a family  _ now,  _ after many years, doesn't feel right either. "I understand." As he's done eating, he goes for the packet of cigarettes in his pocket.

Kaiman looks up with a confused frown. "You were...no, I always considered you family."

Kasukabe's hand stops.

There is something profoundly unscientific in the feelings that bind friends and family, he always felt. He always had a  _ connection _ with Haru that went past mutual fascination in each other, but he never lingered on it. It was there, it was simple and it was steady.

Ai was...since the first time the kid appeared on his doorstep, even without knowing the truth, Kasukabe had been drawn to help him. His ideas, his objective fascinated him, but he felt something new whenever he saw the lonely boy at work in his lab. He operated on him more out of curiosity than to try and save his life. The same curiosity prompted him to look for Ai in the Sorcerers’ world, when he was sure he was the Cross-Eyes boss.

There is really no scientific explanation for the feeling that assaults his chest at those words, the burning behind his nose and eyes as he can’t help but stare at the man in front of him. He didn’t raise the man in front of him, not really. But for all his faults, his cold scientific interest and his lack of empathy, he somehow ended up  _ caring _ for him, even if he still hasn’t a clue how to be a parent.

“Thank you, Ai,” he smiles.  _ It means a lot. _

Kaiman sighs and smiles before standing up and, after a quick check at Dokuga’s chart, heading to the door. “Oh, and you don’t tell any-fucking-one about this, gotcha?”

Kasukabe shrugs. “Not a snitch.”

“You better,” he points at him before closing the door.

-

There was a certain moment in his life when  **Fujita** realized his self worth didn't have to rely on his magic capability or physical strength. He realized, and the whole family did too, that despite having been dealt a poorer hand than them, he was as loyal and determined as the rest of the elites in En's Family.

This fact only makes his current situation worse because by keeping his thoughts and experience a secret, he feels like he's betraying them.

Ebisu hasn't talked to anyone about their misadventure in Hole, thankfully, and nobody seemed to care to ask where the two had disappeared for three days. But if he told En the truth, he would have to admit he got captured by humans, that he was less competent than the Cross-Eyes while imprisoned and had to rely on them to survive. That he was saved by the man who once hunted the family like animals and slaughtered En in front of Fujita's eyes.

He wonders briefly if Kaiman survived. He left him on the brink of death, but somehow he feels like he won't go down that easily.

He saw Shin kneeling over him and saw himself cradling a dying Ebisu in her own house.

Noi said Shin wanted that man to become his Partner. For the first time he realizes what that meant.

Shin hasn't been back to the Manor in a few days. Fujita observes Noi train against a dozen Mushroom dummies and she's barely breaking a sweat. He figured she would be the best person to talk with about his dilemmas, but he opted to wait for her training to end. After all, the last time he tried to interrupt her training, Fujita got knocked unconscious and Ebisu got decapitated.

That's why, when he sees a figure about to fearlessly jump into the arena, his first alarmed reaction is to grab his sleeve and shout at him "look out!". Blood freezes in his veins when he actually sees who this is.

"I'll be fine!" Kaiman grins and lets himself fall into the training space, Fujita's hold suddenly weaker because of the shock.

_ What is he doing here?! And maskless of all things?! We're gonna get killed! If not by him, by En!  _ Thoughts chase each other frantically in his mind as he watches the man make his way through the living dummies armed with only a battle knife. He slices one in his way and suddenly the mushroom dolls get aggressive against him as well. Noi hasn’t seemed to notice his presence at all, instead her punch goes through the flesh of a dummy to almost collide with Kaiman's face.

Fujita's mouth hangs in awe as he sees him parry it bare handed and dodging her next one. It's in that moment that Noi seems to realize the one in front of her isn't a dummy because her face breaks into a delighted grin.

"Don't stop!" Kaiman tells her, grinning. "I need to vent some steam."

Noi's smile grows wider as she charges another punch, feet rotating on the floor as she adjusts her stance and delivers another powerful blow, this time with purpose. Kaiman parries it head on with both arms and Fujita winces, almost hearing his bones creak as he's pushed almost halfway through the arena. Half a dozen dummies charge towards him only to be sliced through cleanly. Using their bulk as cover, Noi has approached Kaiman once more and she jumps over a carcass to build up momentum and attack from above. He moves out of the way just in time and grabs her arm, exploiting her own momentum to throw her over his shoulder and into the ground.

Fujita's heart is beating painfully fast, but Noi's laughing when she stands up. "This is fun!" She lifts herself up, not caring that all the dummies have been destroyed or incapacitated. "Senpai never wants to spar with me!"

They keep exchanging blows as they talk. Fujita hates to admit but he's impressed by how quickly Kaiman switches from lethal to nonlethal attacks against Noi. And yet it would take him so little to twist the blade in his hands and injure Noi for real. Noi would heal quickly, sure, but he's surprisingly considerate nonetheless.

"I know!" Kaiman rolls his eyes between one attack and the next. "He'd rather hit the gym…"

Fujita is silent, he watches them talk and spar for several minutes. He's never been a fan of violence but there's something fascinating in this  _ dance _ of theirs that makes the show captivating. It's not until they finally calm down and stop that Fujita starts approaching. They're both panting and sweaty but their grins weren't wiped from their faces.

"You're right, we should do this more often." Fujita hears him say as he steps closer. "I could never go all out with Nikaido or Risu, it's-" he stops suddenly when his eyes land on Fujita.

All words meant to say suddenly vanished from his mind.

"Oh, hey Fujita!" Noi greets him. "You wanted something?"

Fujita clenches his fists, staring at Kaiman. "You shouldn't be here." He hisses.

Kaiman's whole body slumps with an exasperated sigh. "I know, it was careless…" he groans, "but there's something I need to do." He starts fumbling with a bag at his side Fujita didn't ever realize was there. "I need to talk to En."

"You can't let En see you like that," Noi supplies, surprising Fujita by being reasonable about this for once.

Kaiman snorts. "What's he gonna do, kill me? You know I'm immune to magic."

Noi makes an amused face. "...Do you really need me to remind you _how_ he killed you, twice, while you were immune to magic?"

Kaiman grimaces. "You've got a point…" He opens the bag to extract a black, charred and burned object. "Well, I have a plan. Sort of."

Fujita is about to use that argument to dissuade him from talking to En, but he's too distracted by the object Kaiman's holding to reply. "Isn't that your mask?"

Kaiman nods, turning the broken and burned mask in his hands. "Kasukabe said he recovered it from the stadium once the fire died out, but it's not in a good condition." He looks at Noi. "Know any place that repairs those?"

Noi shrugs. "Your best bet would be to ask the Devil who made it," she notes.

Fujita's mouth hangs open in incredulity.  _ This asshole got a Devil made mask of all things? Seriously?! _

"Yeah, I'd rather not...do...that…" Kaiman passes a hand over his eyes.

"The other option is The Right Door. You should get admitted easily, now, since you have a Smoke output." She continues.

"The Right Door?" He repeats in confusion.

Fujita's anger boils with incredulity and a little bit of envy. "Seriously?!" He bursts out.

"Oh, you're still here?" Noi looks at him. "Wanna come, too? Give The Left Door another chance?"

Fujita stammers, unable to reply, for a few seconds before giving up. "No," he slumps, "I don't even have a gift ready."

"Suit yourself," Noi shrugs. She looks at Kaiman. "Public showers are that way if you want to take one, I'll get cleaned up and then guide you to the place."

"Fair enough," Kaiman stands up, putting back the broken mask in its satchel. He gives Fujita a second glance, an inquisitive look.

"I'm not going to thank you," Fujita admits in the end, while Noi is already walking away.

"You didn't tell En about me," Kaiman wipes the mushroom dummy guts and fluids off the knife before putting it back in the holster on his shoulder. "That's good enough of a  _ thanks." _

Fujita gapes. That's not why he didn't talk to En: he was too scared to do so. Correcting Kaiman doesn't seem to be the best course of action, though. Better let him think they're even.

"Yeah, sure," he grimaces.

He's staring at him, he can feel his gaze burning. "Why are you so hostile against me? I mean, besides being En's bootlicker…"

Fujita grits his teeth, both at the question and the accusation. "Don't play dumb, you know what you've done!"

"Plenty of shitty stuff," he shrugs, "but not  _ entirely _ my fault, to be fair. I'm not trying to harm anyone here anymore, anyway."

"Not that!" Fujita snaps. He  _ desperately  _ wants to blow a bullet hole in his face, but he did hear about him being immune to magic and wants to avoid making a fool of himself. "You killed my Partner! My best friend! In front of me!"

Kaiman's expression is somewhere between confused and disappointed. "...What?"

"Matsumura! You killed him when we came to Hole!" He's pretty sure he's not messing with him, but realizing he doesn't even know, he doesn't even remember...it hurts.

"...I killed a lot of people over there." he crosses his arms. “It was nothing personal.”

"And if it wasn't enough, your people turned his body in this- this-  _ thing.  _ A mechanical puppet to play your game!" He continues.

Fujita can see the moment the metaphorical lightbulb lights up. "Oh,  _ that _ fat guy!"

"He was not fat!" Fujita shouts, outraged.

"To be fair, Doc did that questionable part, I had no hand in it. It was gross." He makes a disgusted face. "Anyway, if you two were in Hole to practice, you would've just ended up killing or harming people yourselves. As I said, I don't regret it."

Fujita screams and tries to punch him. It's like hitting a brick wall and it would've seriously hurt if he'd used all his strength. He can't hurt him, he can't make him leave. He's powerless and he hates himself for it. Tears start to appear at the corners of his eyes whether he wants them or not. "...it's not fair! Not fair!"

Kaiman makes a weird noise, somewhere between a sigh and a groan, as he pushes his fist down. "Alright, alright,  _ sorry."  _ He finally admits. "I'm...there were circumstances, ok? I'm not doing that shit anymore…" he doesn't sound certain but it's something.

Fujita steps back and after glaring at him one last time, turns around and walks away.

-

Sorcerers have  _ weird  _ traditions.

The compulsive Devil worship is only the most obvious one, the tip of the iceberg. Every time  **Kaiman** sees their effigies, he's reminded of the squirming mass of skinned bodies, barking orders in their annoying voices. They fancy themselves above mortals, but Kaiman cannot take them seriously when he's seen how petty and low they are at their worst.

The Devil at the entrance sneers at him. They're unfamiliar, not one of the usual ones who visit Hole, but they still recognize him.  **"Look who's here, our favourite Freak!"**

Kaiman rolls his eyes as he walks past them. Noi bows her head respectfully at the Devil before following into the building. "You're going to get yourself tossed in prison or Hell if you don't respect Devils, you know?" She gives him a concerned look.

"Don't really care," he shrugs. "They're just so full of shit, they get on my nerves."

Noi grimaces. "You shouldn't say things like that, either. Remember this is a Devil-owned establishment."

Kaiman remembers Shimizu in prison, being hanged and dragged to Hell by a giant Devil in a matter of seconds and bites back a snarky remark. "...Alright."

Noi nods and grins as she steps forward towards a large corridor leading to two doors. In front of the left one, a line has formed of people wearing identical jumpsuits.

"Here," Noi points at a turnstile blocking the entrance to the right side of the room. She puts her hand inside a metallic loop and waits for a few seconds until the machine beeps, a green light turning on. "Grade S type Healing Smoke. Welcome." A pleasant voice announces as Noi steps forwards.

Kaiman hesitates. A machine like this was used by the Cross-Eyes to verify the level of magic of people who wanted to enter the organisation. A machine like this was used by Risu just before everything went to shit. Noi brought him here, but he's not even sure it's going to let him through. After all, he's a Freak.

He slides his hand in, wincing in surprise more than pain when a needle quickly pierces the skin of his wrist. The machine is quiet for a longer time than it was for Noi, but it finally gives him a beep and a green light.

Kaiman takes a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Grade A type Summoning Smoke. Welcome."

Noi's delighted grin is the first thing he sees once he steps forward through the turnstiles and looks up.

"I get it, don't make it a bigger deal than it needs to be," he tries to sound nonchalant but there's a warm feeling in his chest.

He hates to be grateful to Haru or the rest of the Devils, but they did allow him to get what he always wanted. _ What I was always supposed to be. _

They walk past the line of people on the left, shooting them envious and sad glances.

"Hey, what the fuck?!" An unknown voice exclaims, triggering a clamor of exclamations throughout the crowd.

"Is that one of the Cross-Eyes?"

Kaiman stops, looking for the one who spoke, but the Sorcerers staring at him all look unfamiliar.

"To the Right Door?"

"Did he cheat?"

"Is the machine broken?"

"I wanna try again!"

Another Devil, holding a pitchfork, starts poking them as they start to break the line.  **"Stay in line! Stay in line!"** He caws, laughing in a high pitched voice.

"Don't let them get to you," Noi tells Kaiman as she gets to the Right Door.

"They're not," Kaiman follows her through, ignoring the crowd. The door opens to a surprisingly nice waiting lounge, with sofas and a small selection of snacks arranged on a cute wooden table. A small Sorcerer with a horned mask, dressed as a butler, bows to them.

"Now we wait here," Noi sits down on a sofa and immediately reaches for one of the pastries. "Since you're new, we're going in together so I can show you what to do."

Kaiman sighs and slumps down next to her, his eyes fixed on the Door they came through.

"Relax. If you're here, you deserve to be." Noi playfully punches his shoulder.

"That's not it," Kaiman admits, rubbing the sore spot. "I thought more people would recognise me, after En's movie."

Noi snorts and starts laughing. "Oh,  _ that  _ movie…" she throws back her head. "It was a total flop. En hates to be reminded, but we had to bury a thousand copies in the desert because no one wanted to buy them!"

The thought of people laughing and rolling their eyes at En's  _ masterpiece  _ is endearing. "Really," he grins.

"Yeah! Serves him right for making it all about him. Nobody bought the story of him defeating the Cross-Eyes Boss single handedly above the clouds!" She makes a wild gesture. "Besides, your lines were so…  _ tacky!" _

"...I'm so glad I never watched it to the end." He says in a monotone voice before bursting out laughing as well.

The curtain at the end of the room parts and another masked butler walks in. "Miss Noi, Mister... please come in."

"Oh, that was quick!" Noi stands up and gestures to Kaiman to follow her towards the curtain.

The room looks like a cross between a buffet and a kitchen. A table of boxes containing the weirdest collection of items lines the wall. Four boiling cauldrons containing a viscous light grey liquid are bubbling over four holes in the floor, radiating searing heat.

"Uhh…" Kaiman shoots Noi a concerned and confused look, as the woman takes off her mask and drops it into one of the cauldrons.

"Plop your mask in and we can get started." She gives the grey liquid a stir with a long glass stick and heads to the table, inspecting the boxes.

_ Fucking weird traditions. _ Kaiman sighs and drops the broken mask in a second cauldron.

"Your mask is made of metal, so you wanna put sturdy ingredients in. Don't go over 10 or the taste will get too complex…" Noi starts explaining as she picks a pair of tongs and starts tossing ingredients into her cauldron.

"...Taste?" Kaiman eyes the table with concern. Mummified fairies, weird plants, jewels, animal parts. Without a clue of knowing what he's doing, he picks up an animal tusk and a green jewel and plops them into the cauldron. The smell is foul, but Noi doesn't seem to be bothered.

"Jewels are a good choice, but don't put in more than one." She continues.

Kaiman puts in the cauldron five more random items, before the butler hands both of them glass bottles. Using a ladle, they fill them with the concoction.

"And finally, before sealing it, you add your Smoke to it," Noi leans forward and blows a thin plume of Smoke on the bottle. The liquid instantly stops boiling and takes a blueish color.

Kaiman bites his glove to slip it off and follows her advice, the concoction taking a darker hue when his Smoke starts swirling around the bottle. If Noi feels a wave of sickness, she doesn't show it.

When they're done, the butler seals both of them with corks and wraps a ribbon around the bottle neck.

Noi picks up her bottle. "I'll go first, you just need to give this to the Little Devil and he'll make a new mask for you. If you have special requests, make them before he drinks." Noi leaves through another curtain, leaving Kaiman alone.

He awkwardly shuffles on his feet until the butler prompts him to proceed a few minutes later.

The third room is shrouded in almost complete darkness, save for a cone of light illuminating a small Devil - no bigger than a young child - sitting on a chair. He extends clawed hands towards Kaiman until he hands him the bottle.

"I- I'd like something simpler than what it used to look like. I don't need to  _ hide _ anymore." He asks as instructed by Noi. "But keep it in the same style."

The Devil grins and uncorks the bottle to drink from it in large gulps. When it's empty, he lets it fall on the floor, where it rolls away and disappears in darkness. Then, after a few seconds, he starts vomiting.

_ “Oh, what the fuck!”  _ Kaiman has to look away to suppress the gag reflex.

The Devil's vomit is dense and thick and he's able to grab it in his hands before starting to shape it like clay. The dark mass slowly transforms into shiny metal and glass and takes a familiar yet new form.

The Devil hands him the finished mask.

The metal helmet and the fabric on the back is missing, leaving only the front part of the mask and three leather straps with a single clasp to secure it to his head. The green lenses are bigger than the old mask's, allowing for a larger field of vision, and there's no cylindrical filter at the bottom, giving the mask a more angular and elegant appearance.

"Right, uh…" Kaiman takes it from the Devil's hands. "Thanks?"

The Devil gestures him to wear it and kneel down. Ignoring the thought of it being basically Devil puke, Kaiman slips the mask on and secures it at the back of his head. His whole body suddenly feels lighter and full of energy.  _ This isn't too bad.  _ The Devil's hands adjust the straps and tweak the mask a little bit until he finally pats his hands on Kaiman's shoulders and head in silent satisfaction before pointing at the exit.

Noi is waiting outside, wearing a new shiny mask identical to her old one.

"That," Kaiman points behind his back, "was disturbing."

Noi bursts out laughing. "Senpai said  _ the exact same thing _ when he came here for the first time. It's a bother, but the sweets are to die for!"

"Not sure I wanna be back anytime soon," they walk through the corridor towards the exit.

"Love the new mask, by the way," she points at him. "I'm sure Senpai will like it too!"

"Y- yeah," Kaiman throws a confused glance at the flower on top of her head. "Actually, there's something I need to do before showing it to him."

Noi nods. “Let’s get you to En.”

-

When  **Shin** hears from two guards that the former Boss of the Cross-Eyes barged unannounced in En's private chambers and told him to listen to his demands, his feet are encased in lead and he can barely move a step.

His heart is sinking as he fears the worst, scenarios playing in his head as he starts to plan their escape.

He feels like he's watching someone else walk through the corridor in the mansion, heading towards the central building, dreading and hoping to find them at the same time. He's ready to confess and run away. He's ready to put his life on the line. He's not ready to find En sitting at a table, surrounded by all the core members of the Family but him.

"Ah, there you are," En says, looking at him coldly. "We were about to begin."

_ Begin what?  _ He dreads to ask.

“I’m so sorry, Senpai,” Noi tells him, barely above a whisper, when he sits next to her. “I showed him where En was, but I never imagined he would go rogue.”

Shin feels his heart clench painfully. “Go rogue  _ how?!” _

“Don’t worry,” comes Shou’s voice. The older Sorcerer is sitting in front of him, between En and Chota. “He didn’t show any intention of wanting to harm En, but we’re keeping him in a secure location just to be safe.”

Shin sighs deeply. He just wanted to relax, not deal with this. Why didn't Kaiman talk to  _ him _ before being reckless?

“Before we take any kind of decision,” En speaks up, cold and definitely pissed off. “I want to know about your involvement with him,” he looks in Shin and Noi’s direction. “And whether I should trust  _ you _ any longer.”

_ There it is. _ The moment Shin dreaded for the past few months. This is his home and if he’s confronted with having to choose between it and Kaiman...he doesn’t know what he’ll choose, or if he’ll live to regret it.

He looks at Noi, her concerned expression intuitable even through the fabric mask. His eyes run back and forth across the table, aware that everyone is staring at him.

“He’s half human, like me,” he starts with that, maybe it’ll skew En’s perception of him slightly. “I know him from when I lived in Hole, believed him dead for a long time. He’s the man who was wielding Store’s Knife when we were trapped in  _ that place.” _

En’s expression changes slightly, in surprise.

“The ghost!” Ebisu exclaims. Shin can’t help but be surprised at her observation skills.

“I do recall you recognizing him,” En stares at him.

“Y-yeah,” Shin sighs. “Things are complicated, Mister En.” He looks up. “He’s- he was possessed by the entity that you know as the boss of the Cross-Eyes but he was instrumental to its defeat. You know this, you _ saw  _ this.”

En rubs his chin. “I don’t know what I saw. What I want to know is whether he’s a liability or not.”

Shin opens his mouth to reply and closes it immediately after.

“I don’t think he is,” a voice suddenly says and everyone around the table is instantly looking at Fujita, who looks almost shocked to suddenly be at the center of attention. “He- he helped me and Ebisu when we were in a…  _ situation _ in Hole.” He looks up at Shin and nods. "With nothing to get out of it, he helped us out."

Fujita, of all people, taking Kaiman’s defense is the most unexpected twist of the evening. Shin finds himself relaxing a little bit. “Yes, he…” he closes his eyes. He needs to choose his next words carefully. “I know I asked you to hire him as a Cleaner, and...he refused. He will never really be at place in this world, but...he’s part of mine,” he smiles softly, forgetting himself for a moment.

The table is silent except for Chota’s quiet chuckle. “Love makes us do the most reckless things,” he says in a dreamy tone.

“He’s going to be my Partner at the next Blue Night,” Shin says in a breath, before he thinks it through and decides to lie about it.

Chota claps his hands with a loud “Aww!”, En’s eyes go wide open, Shou sighs. Ebisu stands up shouting “A shocking development everybody was expecting, lads and gals!”

“Sit down!” Fujita frantically grabs her sweater.

“I’m ok with it, I’m gonna re-enroll to Devil training anyway!” Noi pipes up, clearing everyone's doubts.

“Congratulations, Noi!” Turkey leans forward. “It’ll be so interesting, I heard many things have changed in Hell!”

“I hope you have actually  _ asked _ him this time,” Chota grins at Shin. “You seem to keep a lot of things for yourself!”

“I have!” Shin replied, flustered. He has, but Kaiman refused. The first time, at least. Things have changed quite a bit since then, have they changed between the two of them?

“Silence!” En shouts, standing up and calling an immediate cessation of all clamor. His expression hasn’t changed, if anything he’s even more annoyed than before. “Is this your way to say you’re  _ resigning, _ Shin?”

“No,” is Shin's immediate reply. “You know where my loyalties lie. If it’s not an issue if my Partner is not a member of the Family, nothing will change for me.”

En slowly sits down. “Very well, this brings us to the topic of his  _ request.” _

Shin perks up. With everything going on he forgot what the meeting was called for in the first place.

“After barging into my room, he had some  _ interesting  _ things to say.” En looks at Shou, who clears his throat and starts to speak.

-

When a shaking guard opens the cell door,  **Shin** has got every intention to be annoyed. He made a point of taking off his mask and keeping a scowl on, so that he knows that his whole  _ recklessness  _ did not amuse him in the slightest.

“Shin!” It’s the way Kaiman’s eyes light up when the door opens, his wide joyous grin lacking any kind of malice that makes every ounce of his determination  _ melt. _

_ How can I stay mad at that? _ Shin sighs and smiles.

Apart from being handcuffed, Shin sees he's not been treated badly. Kaiman is sitting on a slab in the middle of the room, legs dangling off the edge, quite relaxed. On his lap, he's holding a mask that Shin hasn't seen before.

"Noi told me about your little  _ adventure." _ He says, walking up to him to open the handcuffs with the keys the guard handed to him. "You could've asked me."  _ You should've asked me,  _ is what he wanted to say.

When his hands are finally free, Kaiman grabs Shin's hands before he can pull away and pulls him down, towards him. They kiss and the world falls away. Shin barely has any time to react that Kaiman already let go of him, a cheeky smile painted on his lips.

"...idiot." Shin mumbles, annoyed but not at the kiss.

"I needed you to forgive me, somehow," he stands up and starts to secure his mask. "Besides, if I'd come to you, I'm pretty sure you would've managed to change my mind."

Shin observes the mask. New but familiar, sleek and elegant, similar to the old one but less bulky, less threatening. He likes it. He wonders if it got a flower from the Little Devil, too.

"Well, what did he say?" Kaiman asks him, trying to sound confident but there’s a hint of panic in his voice. He’s ready for the worst.

"En? He put your… _ proposition  _ to a vote between the members of the family." Shin starts to explain as they head out. The guard doesn't say anything, he's still shaking. "You have mine and Noi's support, obviously, but Shou voted against. No matter your intentions, he thinks this Door would just instigate more conflict. So did Chota, not keen on sorcerers and humans mingling."

"I see," Kaiman looks down, almost  _ deflating. _

"Ebisu voted no. Despite having been saved by you, she's still pretty pissed for what happened. If you'd waited for this a little longer, she might've forgotten."

Kaiman hums something pensively. “Damn,” he sighs, deflating. “I need to find a way to tell Nikaido that-”

“It passed, you know?” Shin cuts him off and cannot hide a smug smile on his lips when Kaiman freezes in his tracks. “Turkey said she was curious to see what this could become, and Fujita of all people voted in favor. Four votes against three, En’s going to accept Nikaido's deal.”

“Oh,” Kaiman says, quietly, after a moment of silent shock. “Oh!” Shin can’t see it but knows him well enough to know he’s grinning.

“He’s gonna offer Nikaido a fair business deal, in honor of old times, he said,” he shrugs. “What old times, I wonder. She was his partner for little over a month…”

Kaiman grins. “I’ll let her deal with him, later. It was her idea after all! We should eat out, to celebrate!”

Shin gives him an incredulous smile. “Seriously...I can’t believe you pulled that off. Just, don’t sneak into the mansion ever again. En’s paranoid enough as it is.”

“Eeh? How am I supposed to see you, then?!” He complains in an exaggerated tone of voice.

"I'll give you a key," Shin bumps playfully into him. "You should have one, especially if you're going to be my-" the words are stuck in his throat. They still haven't properly talked about this, is he going to be ok with it? Shin played the whole scenario in his own head but never stopped to ask if Kaiman considered it himself.

He's bewildered to see his eyes widen behind the mask lens, as he slows down and stops in the middle of the corridor.

"You were," his shoulders shake with barely contained laughter, "never good at asking things head on."

"I thought I did-" Shin stops a few feet away turning around to face him.

"Yeah, yeah," Kaiman rubs the back of his neck. "In your own way, you did. And it took me  _ a while  _ to process it."

"If it's not what you want-"

"I," he interrupts Shin, "had a Partner before. Risu. You know this."

Shin nods, his heart clenching painfully.

"But that wasn't...I never realized what a Partnership entailed until I was involved in one. And my life was a mess, I was never truly devoted to it. The fact it was just a spoken agreement helped me never get too close...but this," he looks up and gestures to him. "This, if we do this, it's going to be different." He steps forward.

"Yes," Shin finds himself at a loss for words. Mouth dry, muscles tense like a violin string about to snap.

"...are you sure  _ you _ want to be  _ my  _ Partner?"

The words echo in his head, their meaning sinking in with painful clarity.  _ "That's  _ what you've been worried about?!"

"I mean, yeah?" He stammers, taken aback. "That and how to make this official without me directly working for En."

"Hence the Hungry Bug deal," Shin realizes with a sigh, rubbing his eyes. "Obviously."

"Shin?" Kaiman is surprisingly gentle as his hand moves Shin's head so that he faces him. "I know it's early, but I want to hear it from your mouth, loud and clear, without the need to mince words."

_ The night they saved each other's life. Running from zombies and militiamen. Shin falling in love for the first time as Ai killed to save him, with no hesitation. _

Shin remembers that night clearly, each and every word pronounced.  _ I read they have this system, you know? They work in pairs, call themselves Partners. _ Ai's first smile directed at him, first of many and yet no less precious.

Shin's heart is beating so fast it might just be about to burst from his chest. His words echo those pronounced that night. "Will you be my Partner?"

Kaiman laughs. "You know, you idiot? I really think I will!"

And for now, this is enough.

-

Duston approaches **Haru** as she chops finely a bunch of dead souls with a kitchen knife and sprinkles salt all over their mangled bodies.

**"So, I win, nya?"**

Haru doesn't even look up at him.  **"What are you talking about?"**

Duston doesn't hide his amusement.  **"Just because you lost, you don't get to forget about our bet."**

Haru slides a clawed hand across the table, throwing the dead Sorcerers on the floor, waiting for their spiritual bodies to regenerate before continuing with the torture.  **"Well, not that you won either!"**

**"You bet against me that he was going to choose to live as a Sorcerer, and yet he still lives in that rickety house in Hole. He could be a** **_king_ ** **with the power he has, instead he's a** **_waiter."_ **

**"He just likes it that way."** Haru shrugs.  **"His loss."**

**"So, I win, nya."** Duston grins.

**"Not so soon, you feline fool. He decided to keep and use his magic, he got a mask and agreed to a formal Partnership!"** She points the kitchen knife at him. It's no Store's Knife but it's still made of Hell Steel, it could sting a little bit.  **"That doesn't sound** **_human_ ** **to me."**

**"He chose a life in the middle."** Duston groans.  **"Does that mean we both lost?"**

**"Clearly."** Haru picks up a handful of dead people and lays them on the kitchen counter.

**"So, who gets to name baby Chidaruma?"**

**"We can go for something in between our ideas,"** Haru shrugs.  **"What about Bony M Earwhacker?"**

**"Too long, Bonewhacker?"**

**"I like Bonewhacker!"** Haru exclaims, starting to chop.  **"I could write a song called Bonewhacker!"**

**"Alright, nya. I'll tell the others!"** Duston takes off and disappears in the bloody red skies of Hell.  **"I wanna see that restaurant you told me about, later."**

**"Sure, see you there."**

Things in the Sorcerers world and Hole are starting to change. It won't be a fast change, but she can see the seeds of something new,  _ something interesting,  _ starting to sprout.

A  _ crossroads.  _ A meeting point. A restaurant for humans, Sorcerers  _ and Devils. _ Ambitious. Haru always liked  _ ambition. _

Haru looks at the photo on the wall. Taken at the new opening of the Hungry Bug: in the group, all smiling together, are humans and Sorcerers, Cross-Eyes and members of the En Family, Devils and mortals. Funny, she’s never felt the need to be sentimental when Chidaruma was around, but him being gone means she finally gets to do whatever she wants.

She grins and chops up the dead a little bit faster.

And so does her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with me through this insane journey. What started as "hey these two characters should've been childhood friends" descended into this mess of a story I cherish very dearly.  
> If you also liked this series, leave a comment.  
> I have something else planned for this series, a one-chapter epilogue set in the future Blue Night, but I don't think I'll write it just yet.  
> I'm collaborating with a friend to plot another AU series that is honestly my favourite fanfiction in this fandom! Go read Nested Across, NOW! If you liked Love and Change, you'll love it!


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